December 14, 2004

Curious George: Stupid Kitty! Don't mean to be a broken record with the "What's the dumbest thing.... theme," but my cat scared the crap out of me this weekend with his stupidity.

Apparently, my older cat (Clinton) finally had enough of the younger's (Halo) abuse, and was gnawing on him when I was away. Returning home from work, I find Halo particularly scruffy, with a giant knot of hair protruding from his neck. I grab the scissors and cut off the offending clump. He then promptly turns, looks at the point of the (now closed) scissors. Sniffs the point, gets poked in the nose (obviously realizing it's sharp), and then, after a short pause *WTF?* proceeds to bite down on the point, jamming it into the roof of his mouth. Halo then gags, flies up in the air and runs away. My girlfriend and I were properly stunned at such massive stupidity, and luckily he didn't cut the roof of his mouth. I figure if us "Higher Life Forms" have had Darwin Award quality experiences, our pets must be lucky to be alive.

posted by Debaser626 19 years ago
  • The old 'plant pot stuck on head, walking backwards' trick is a particular favorite of mine... Falling off a 15ft high window ledge whilst washing was also good though. Oh how we laughed. Once we'd got her back in...
  • At times like these, I try to remind myself that my cats' brains are about the size of a walnut. It doesn't excuse crapping on the sofa, but still...
  • What are you asking? Why is this place still called 'MonkeyFilter' instead of 'PetFilter'? Why is this post so far over the GYOB line? /curmudgeon
  • Losing a fight to a particularly aggressive frog. The cat just looked so flabbergasted.
  • What are you asking? Why is this place still called 'MonkeyFilter' instead of 'PetFilter'? Why is this post so far over the GYOB line? A-FUCKING-MEN BROTHER. However, in order to make such a comment, it behoves one to increase the level of sparkling FPP shiznits via the time-honoured device of a POSTING MARATHON. Starting ... a bit later. Fuyugare, you with me?
  • I took a crap that looked like an owl yesterday, but resisted making it an FPP.
  • well, i would offer up some cute kittens to calm everyone down, but... um... never mind.
  • .... exceelllent... my plan has worked.... BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
  • An owl, you say?
  • My cat's breath smells like cat food.
  • Yes, an owl. I was quite pleased with myself, as I have found that by placing these in my ass prior to having a bowel movement, I am able to produce all kinds of art.
  • Have you considered trying this? Those metal ones look like they could give you a serious redeye.
  • bernockle: I am reminded of . Man, this is off-topic...
  • bernockle, this is the way to go. It comes complete with a, uh, "retraction cord".
  • Gah, crap. I meant these. Preview is your friend...
  • Great monkeys think alike, I guess...
  • The only reason I got it in before you, is because I didn't preview. Then again, most people have seen that thing anyway, but we're proud to provide a public service, aren't we pmdboi?
  • Well, I go and think that I have some brilliant idea, only to find out later that I have been outfoxed again by the collective genius at turdtwister.com.
  • My cat Bert always gets a bit pissed off at the brush, not me, when I brush him. Afterwards, he always bites it and then gags. Go figure...
  • whaddaya want, they're Cats. Sheesh. They've only been domesticated for 2500 years or so, cut 'em some slack. Hell, they don't know what they're thinkin'.
  • What is GYOB?
  • I took it as "Get Your Own Blog." And I am not much of a computer nerd. If I was right, do I win something?
  • Our cat was terrified by a hacky sack for well over a couple of weeks. She apparently has a phobia of balls, as she is also scared of other small spherical objects.
  • "grab your own ass"?
  • Someday, I am going to make my own homepage. And it will consist of nothing but pictures of my cat. I do have some very good ones - including a video of her playing fetch. She thinks she's a dog.
  • MonkeyFilter: She apparently has a phobia of balls. thank you, thank you
  • If I was right, do I win something? Yes. Your own Blog.
  • But this isn't it.
  • shoot.
  • "Gay? Your own brother?" "Grip yetis often, buddy." "Gadzooks, yachts orphan babies!" "Gimlet? Yes, one. Big." "Gadflies yolk oxen bravely." "Greetings, you obnoxious brat!"
  • Great. You ornery bastard.