December 10, 2004

• What kind of phobia? Are we talking an "I hate exercising 'cuz I'm lazy" phobia, or a full-on "I can't put my face in the water because I'll die" phobia? As a former (and occasionally relapsed) sufferer of the second, I can tell you you'll be alright if you do three things. The biggest hassle is simply doing it. Once you've learned the motions, it's pretty hard to forget them. If you're already doing freestyle and it's not a trial mentally you're halfway there; if you're always getting tired then you just need to work on your technique, which means lots of practice. Seriously—unless you're a toddler, you don't know how to swim naturally, and you have to have the motions drilled into you. It's a naturally uncomfortable environment as well—your limbs feel funny, and you can't really breathe or see underwater. Getting lots of practice in means you'll be a lot more comfortable and relaxed in the water, meaning it'll be easier for you to swim farther. If you're scared of liquids and that's why you can't do a full lap, then you may want to ease into the freestyle. I found backstroke about fifteen times more comforting in the early stages because a) I didn't need to stick my face in the water, and b) if I got tired I could just float for a bit without worrying I was going to die. You may also want to try working on the whole turning-your-head-and-breathing thing with a flutterboard or somesuch; once you get used to the rhythm it goes a lot easier. Of course, neither the practice nor the acclimation with the flutterboard will make you look like a champ. This brings me to the second thing you need to do: lose the self-consciousness, if you have any. It took me a full four and a half years in high school to work up the courage to swim practice laps in high school during swim improvement sessions after school, when everyone else was in the same predicament, because I was scared of the water but also because I was scared of drowning in public. Once I got past that, I learned a lot more in the following four months than in the preceding fifty-four. Despite all the skulking about, not only did everyone in my class know about my issues with swimming anyways, but it turned out they were really supportive of me and even cheered me on during our final swim exam. So the third piece of advice is to find people who'll help you out. They don't need to teach you; hell, they don't even need to be in the pool with you. But having a cheerleader on hand can be amazingly helpful if you're the type who responds well to positive reinforcement. I have many stories of near-drownings, and one awesome triumph story. I don't really swim at all these days, but despite all the times I've had to be pulled out of the water like a ninny, I still think I'd like to strap on the trunks and give it another go one of these days. Good luck to you.
• None of this is probably news to you so forgive me if I'm telling you what you already know. Get some goggles and (if the water bugs you bad) earplugs and one o' them nose clippy things. If you can swim 25 meters, you can swim; it's just doing the same stuff over and over again. I'm assuming you do an energetic freestyle (aka the aussie crawl)? Try to swim reeee-al slow and relaxed and see if you can train yourself to breathe all regular and natural on each side. If you watch people swimming lotsa laps you'll notice they are pretty relaxed and not exerting themselves like crazy - swimming can be as leisurely as walking while swinging your arms. And go swimming often - can you manage every day? And get some cool lookin' swimming gear so you look like the fucking shiznits. And pretend that you’re a dolphin. And have fun.
• What Chrominance said, with the added fact that it will feel incredibly awkward and difficult for you until it clicks and becomes fairly natural. When you are in the awkward stage, it will feel like you will NEVER get the rhythm of it, but stick with it. You WILL get the hang of it.
• Oh, I should also add that when I joined my high school swim team, I was like you--I couldn't swim a lap without needing a rest. Thanks to an incredibly supportive coach (who genuinely didn't care whether we won or not, as long as everybody was genuinely doing the absolute best they could), I eventually got the hang of it. I was still the slowest swimmer on the team when I graduated, but being in the water came to feel natural and comfortable. Now, some 15 years later, I still feel at ease swimming, even when I haven't done it for as much as a year. Once you get the hang of it, you'll keep the hang of it.
• i'm not scared of water, but petrified of deep water. what phobia is that? i can happily splash around in the shallow end but KEEP ME AWAY FROM THAT DEEEEEEEP END!!!!!! EEEEEEEK! how people love an activity that brings them close to death with each inhalation is beyond me. a good lungful of water and you're a goner!
• SideDish, I dunno if it'll comfort you or not, but I've had multiple lungfuls of water and am so far, not a goner. You cough like a fiend for a little bit, but you can recover from it quite handily. In the interest of being more comforting, I never got any of these lungfuls of water while doing regular "swimming." Instead I was performing "stunts." If you're swimming up on top of the water, there isn't a whole lot of danger. People float.
• STUNTS IN DEEP WATER!? *shivers*
• Whenever I go swimming, I try to imagine that the water around me is actually blood and that I'm a horribly mutilated and decomposing corpse floating in it.
• Prepare to be frustrated. Learning how to swim under water in the shallow end is easy. If you can hold your breath, the rest is all about being brave -- about not fearing to duck your head under water and to open your eyes to find a penny on the bottom of the pool. Swimming "on top" of the water is something that comes only with learning how your body moves and how and where your body is floatable. (My ass sank like a brick when I was learning to swim "on top." I had to kick harder.) Forcing yourself to relax also makes it easier for you to stay on top of the water. Practice the dead man's float. Then practice kicking hard. You just gotta keep moving. Learn how to tread water (doing the "curvy woman" shape with your hands) before trying to swim on top.
• First, from a non-swimmer, why would you want to? My father dragged me to all sorts of lessons and even he concluded that I didn't float worth a damn. The biggest challenge was when my university wouldn't grant your degree unless you could swim a return lap in the pool. This was because they didn't want their educational efforts lost by casual drowning. They were good enough to accept my dog-paddle.
• First, from a non-swimmer, why would you want to? Because it's enjoyable.
• And it's great exercise.
• AND WHEN THE DELUGE COMES ONLY WE FISH-PEOPLE WILL SURVIVE WHA HA AHAAAHA HAAAHA HAHAAH HAH111!11!!11 OH WAIT THAT WAS A SECRET FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.
• And Dagon swims very, very fast.
• I go swimming early in the morning - I totally wake up in the middle of the pool wondering how I got there. And am I wearing trunks?
• I was a swim teacher and lifeguard in high school. If your willing and even can already swim almost all pools will give lessons. Maybe try a adult group lesson, and if you find an certain instructor that is very easy to work with then maybe try a couple of private lessons. This would also be helpful for someone that would be embarassed in a group. A good teacher will be very helpful and very encouraging. Adult lessons for begginers will find out your level of experience and go from there. Good luck pursuing a great sport and or excercise. I know if I had better access to a pool, I would much rather swim than jog.
• I have had no difficulty or fear of swimming. I do wonder how there is much of a trick to it. Can't you simply go into water that if four feet or so deep, and just practice until you can do it for a long time without touching the bottom? Am I naive?
• The great thing about using swimming as exercise is that when you don't get all swaety and nasty. Just rinse yourself off when you get out and you're good to go.
• bernockle the thought of NOT TOUCHING THE BOTTOM WITH YOUR FEET gives some of us the uberwillies well, not YOUR feet, but our collective feet because they are feet and not FINS
• Just keep doing it and doing it, and eventually you'll be able to do it better. Swimming is hard the way skiing or weightlifting is hard; once you figure out the basics -- and it sounds like you've already got the basics down -- it's just a matter of being able to do it for more than ten minutes at a time without feeling like you're going to die from over-exertion. Or you could just move to Innsmouth and wait until the changes start to come.
• Took swimming in college--two semesters--got A's but the instructor took me aside and told me, "There are two types of people, floaters and sinkers. Stay outta the deep end." Stories of people lost at sea and swimming for days impress me no end, but when I get in deep water, I can feel my eyes get big and my breath get shorter, no matter how easy it is to float. Maybe it's the sensation of pressure on my chest--not fun for a recovered asthmatic.
• I don't float well myself. I swim...well, well enough to get from here to there without drowning, but I float about as well as your average block of enriched uranium.
• Make sure there's water in the pool before you dive in. Otherwise, much pain will surely ensue.
• Watch out for the Undertoad.
• I do something simliar to swimming. I don't drown, so that's like swimming, right? When I joined the navy, we had to pass a simming test. The guys giving the test made sure to inform me that they had never seen anyone swim as ugly as I did without needing to be rescued. A couple kept trying to save me as I swam past: "Here, take my hand" "Fuckyou glub Ican glub doit" I did make it the 1/4 mile, or however far it was (6 laps I think, I'm not positive). I should've failed: I would've gotten instruction, and maybe become a better swimmer. I sometimes go to the beach with some friends that are pro divers. We'll end up so damn far out in the ocean that they usually end up having to literally drag me back in. I'll hold on to a shoulder, and do my best kicking and swingning one arm, and they'll swim like crazy pulling me to shore. The speed they drag me at is faster than I can manage to swim on my own. I'm thinking of taking a course on swimming next semester.
• The secret to swimming is this: You have to move water away from the direction you want to go. Pushing water behind you pushes you forward. Pushing smoothly moves you smoothly. Splashing a lot wastes energy. Pushing water behind you with your hands usually (depending on what stroke you're using) raises your head out of the water. Breathe in then. Breathe out at other times. To float, fill your lungs with air. Think baloon. Keep your lungs mostly full, even when exhaling. Last time I looked, the YMCA gave swimming lessons.
• Thanks for all the comments and stories. The reason I want to start swimming is that I feel it's something I would enjoy if only I could do it right. Watching the good swimmers just effortlessly turn end-over-end with easy strokes is quite mesmerising - and I imagine that gliding through the water must be a wonderful flying-esque experience. Fear of drowning in public has held me back for quite a number of years (I am perfectly fine with drowning in private). My water-phobia isn't crippling, but seems to be a very common fear of the deep end of the pool. I liked infinitywaltz's analogy to learning to ski. I remember the pain of learning to snowboard - the sore arse and the bruised knees for the first 3 days. But the thought of being able to glide down the mountain kept me going, and on the 4th and 5th days and the weeks since, snowboarding is something I can do effortlessly and enjoy. I'm sure swimming will turn out this way too.
• You have to move water away from the direction you want to go. Pushing water behind you pushes you forward. It's amazing how much better I got at swimming when I realised my hands were to behave like oars. Not that I'm any good, still, but I could probably rescue myself from a bad situation, and I wouldn't get into a boat unless I was comfortable with the idea of saving myself. I spend a reasonable amount of time in boats.
• lamearse: this is probably ridiculously impractical, but if you can ever visit a warm coastal region, try swimming in the ocean. It forces you to improvise because you deal with all sorts of factors like waves, tide, sand in your shorts, etc. And it's really fun. Otherwise Quid's suggestion of pretending to be a dolphin is excellent. Have fun with your buoyancy. Make eee eeee noises. Splash around lots. Maybe find a beginners water polo club. They look like they have a good time. Enjoyment might help you conquer your fears.
• To float, fill your lungs with air. Sheesh, what a simple, common sense thing to do. Why was that simple advice never offerred in any of the classes I went to? I was always gasping in the opposite state, trying desperately to survive.
• I have now had to be fished out of the following; The sea, a lake, a fjord, and a swimming pool. However, I can ride a horse like a freaking Sioux buffalo hunter, so I don't feel so bad. And deep water? *WILLIES*