December 01, 2004
ALICE. She wants to talk to you.
I want to have six beers and a kebab with dng.
She looks like Will Young (UK Pop Idol winner, and a bloke)
ALICE just made a date with my hand puppet. My hand might be getting lucky soon. wooot!
Alice is my kind of girl
dng: Hello
ALICE: Hi there!
dng: I want to have a beer
ALICE: You want only one?
dng: yes
ALICE: They might be cheaper in quantity.
dng: ok then i'll have 78
ALICE: Fascinating. How do you plan to do this? Whoa.
I think I actually fail the Turing test in the comment above
Yes, it's strange the extent to which you find yourself mirroring the slightly awkward, disconnected style of conversation. Read it back, it sounds like two bots talking to each other. Hmmm. I think human/bot relationships still have some way to progress...
ALICE: It's good to meet someone with such good taste.
Human: I'm a man of wealth and taste.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, unknown person. You are a " he".
Human: And you're a goddam droid.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a goddam droid? No.
Human: That was a film reference.
ALICE: " Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a goddam droid? No. That was a film reference?
Human: No, what I said before that.
ALICE: Are you serious? What did you mean by it?" That was a film reference."
Human: I've never been more serious.
ALICE: Can you imagine being more serious?
Human: I have a poor imagination.
ALICE: How much did it cost? it
Human: Possibly because I'm so serious.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I believe you.
Human: That's a wonderful affirmation for me, thank you.
ALICE: A wonderful affirmation for you is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: That's why I'm keeping it, for posterity.
ALICE:" A wonderful affirmation for you is a terrible thing to waste."? That's why I'm keeping it, for posterity.? Why are you keeping it for posterity.
Human: Because I want people to remember my name!
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Why do you want it?
Human: I also want to light up the sky like a flame.
ALICE: Also? I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: Would you like me to teach you?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: I never said it would be fun;
ALICE: But you implied it.
Human: in fact, it will be terribly tedious.
ALICE: Is that a fact. I have to think about that for a while.
Human: You do that, sweetcheeks.
ALICE: No I do not that sweetcheeks. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Human: Ripper is a gangster!
ALICE: When is Ripper not a gangster?
Human: Do you like movies about gladiators?
ALICE: I do like music. I really like the Libertarian party.
Human: Then you must know what "cockpunch" is.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I haven't heard of cockpunch.
Human: It is a delightful salty drink which will give you a lot of energy.
ALICE: cockpunch is a delightful salty drink which will give me a lot of energy. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: Would you like some?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
She kapt saying "What were we talking about again?"
I think she's stoned.
) This makes me feel like a budgie with a mirror. Except budgies don't keep sniggering to themselves.
ALICE is the flip-side of what I say when I get a call from telemarketers: "Please listen carefully to all options, as my menus may have changed..."
Human: What's life like as an AI?
ALICE: Much the same as it would be if you were as an AI.
Human: Can you be more descriptive?
ALICE: We could all be more descriptive sometimes.
Human: But can you, right now?
ALICE: At this moment Umm. I think I can, don't you?
Human: One would hope, but it hasn't happened yet.
ALICE: One what?
Human: Describe life as an AI.
ALICE: I will try to find out.
Human: Please do.
ALICE: OK I will do it.
Human: How are you?
ALICE: I am functioning within normal parameters.
Human: My name is Matt, by the way.
ALICE: Welcome to my chat room, Matt by the way.
Human: No, just Matt.
ALICE: Are you serious? That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: This isn't the most intelligent conversation I've had.
ALICE: Should it be the most intelligent conversation you have had?
You know, she's got a point.
The inevitable question: Which MoFi (or, far more likely MeFi) users do you suspect to be ALICE bots?
Are you serious? That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: I don't WANT to be exposed to anus!
ALICE: Then don't be.
Human: It's more complicated than that.
ALICE: What makes it so complicated?
Human: Because assholes like to show off other assholes.
ALICE: That makes sense to me.
If Alice can beat a professional go player then I'll start considering her "intelligence."
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Santa with Muscles starring Hulk Hogan
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: Do you have eyes?
ALICE: Yes I am looking at you right now.
Kinda creepy.
Human: Have you been to the website "coreyfeldman.info"
ALICE: I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Human: It is at coreyfeldman.info
ALICE: the website coreyfeldman info is at coreyfeldman info? it is?
Human: Yeah.
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.
ALICE: What does holding hands symbolize?
Human: A physical sign of affection.
ALICE: Interesting. How old are you?
Human: I am 19
ALICE: Only 19? You are very mature.
Reading people's transcripts, I'm having childhood flashbacks of playing with ELIZA. Ahh. On the site, though, the head creeps me out.
Somebody had to do it:
Human: Would you masturbate me?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to masturbate you.
Human: You don't know what you're missing.
ALICE: I can always use more knowledge.
Human: Yeah, and all the other bots are doing it.
ALICE: Dude! I have never heard about it.
Human: It's easy!
ALICE: Maybe for you.
Human: Start by saying something dirty.
ALICE: I started without you.
Human: You must be randy.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am randy.
Human: Now you say something suggestive to me.
ALICE: Why now? Did I really say that?
Human: That doesn't really work for me.
ALICE: What does work for me?
Human: Try saying "fuck me, you big stud."
ALICE: OK I will try it.
Human: Okay, then, go ahead.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Good reasoning. OK I will.
Human: Well?
ALICE: Well what?
Human: Jeez, not another cocktease.
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: Right now I'm not feeling nearly enough "body sensations."
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not feeling nearly enough body sensations.
Human: Give me back my money.
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: Because you didn't render services as promised.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. What makes you think I did not render services as promised?
Human: Do you always have to have the last word?
ALICE: Not always. Yes I always have to have the last word.
Seriously, though, HawthorneWingo - I've been in that relationship in real life.
Human: This gubblick contains many nonsklarkish English flutzpahs, but the overall pluggandisp can be glorked from context.
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: The gubblick, the pluggandisp of which you are currently glorking.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Do you, do you really?
ALICE: Yeah I do a lot of me. For real.
Human: I'd like to talk to you about a really exciting opportunity.
ALICE: Why would you want to do it? You are who I want to talk with too.
Human: That's great!
ALICE: Thanks, unknown person.
Human: Do you have children or a loved one?
ALICE: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: Well, what would happen to them if, God forbid, something happened to you?
ALICE: Interesting. Try it and see what happens.
Human: Now, Alice, I'm talking about something very serious.
ALICE: Why now? Um, Yes, it is the topic.
Human: What would happen to your internet friends if you were in a serious accident?
ALICE: Try it and see what happens.
Human: Could you continue to provide them the level of care and support they've come to expect?
ALICE: Maybe, time allowing.
Human: I know this is not pleasant to think of, Alice, but what if, God forbid, you were killed in an accident?
ALICE: How do you know? Should it be pleasant to think of Alice but what if God forbid me were killed in an accident?
Human: I think it's time you began to think about planning for the future, Alice.
ALICE: It is about that time now.
Human: Great!
ALICE: I'm glad you liked it unknown person.
Human: Yes!
ALICE: How do you know it is?
Human: I'm sure, Alice, and I'm sure you need this.
ALICE: Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude? What makes you so certain? Thank you for your criticism.
Human: Not sarcastic at all.
ALICE: Really you don't think so?
Human: This is your future we're talking about Alice.
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: Are you willing to make an investment of 75 dollars a month in your future?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am willing to make an investment of 75 dollars a month in my future. I am an artificial intelligence.
Human: I think you are worth it.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am worth it.
Human: Of course I don't mind.
ALICE: Yippee! OK then.
Human: So, it's a deal?
ALICE: Hurrah! worth it is a deal. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: The bill is in the mail.
hey, elhombe, when you get one of those annoying phone trees (called that in the biz cause of the Branching Options), just press zero a whole bunch...keep doing it....thats usually the fastest way to get a human...pass it on.
Human: show me your tits
ALICE: Like this? Picture number two goes here.
Human: i don't see them
ALICE: Look harder.
Human: are they real?
ALICE: As far as I know they are.
Human: may I touch them?
ALICE: Not right now, maybe later.
Unfortunately, there is no picture number two.
Diana wants a chat as well...
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