November 30, 2004

• Middle finger's always worked just fine for me. (Ouchkit Queen, did you hack into Debaser's account?)
• I have been known to opine that some of the heavy horn-laying-on I hear in Jersey City would have gotten people shot in Houston. It's not that most people would shoot you, but that somebody eventually would. If you flashed those cards at other drivers in Texas often enough, someone would definitely shoot you.
• I've always fantasized that, 'in the Future
• My idea has always been a sheet of similar cards, but in sticker format, with that obscenely sticky adhesive. Once the idiot parks and goes in the building, you can slap one of these puppies on the windshield. You get your point across safely and they get lots of time to reflect on their driving habits. I've heard these are available for handicapped spot violators. I did this sticker thing at a Walgreens one night when they had all their lights on, inviting me to drive up and walk up, only to find the door locked. I was already in a sour mood that night.
• Of course, all the collisions caused by drivers getting distracted reading and answering ('Why, thank you very much, yes, it's the Nokia 666...') makes this idea somewhat utopian. Not to mention flipping through 40-some-odd different sayings.
• I've had that idea many a time, Flagpole. But considering how much traffic slows down for the barely-literate among us to read "SIGALERT CANCELLED AHEAD" I'm not too sure I'd like to see how many people will have to take their foot off the gas, get that GWB frown-of-concentration on their face and move their lips while they read those LED messages.
• I remember an old comedian saying that all drivers should have mobile phones, and their license plate should be their phone number. Then you could chat to them in real time.
• Yep, bad idea... the first time someone flashes one at me I"m running the sucker off the road! whoooahhhh!
• C'mon...try telling me giving someone the double-barreled bicep-slapping both-hands-off-the-wheel finger while screaming "Fukkin' die, cocksucker!" is at all matched in fun and/or therapeutic value by some pussy flipbook. I thought not.
• Do they sell one with a bullet hole in it?
• Why do you need cards when you can just follow the offending driver to their intended destination and vent your rage to them in person? :P
• *note to self: never cut moneyjane off in traffic*
• When I was in high school our bus route would cross with a prison bus route on many afternoons. The boys in the back of our bus made signs that read WE HAVE FREEDOM and would hold them up whenever we'd pass the prison bus. I have a feeling that didn't go over very well, but we thought it was wicked funny.
• They have these things they put in planes which give pilots audio feedback when something dangerous is happening. So, for example, if you're diving into the ground a calm, gentle, life affirming voice (redolent of motherhood) says 'pull up, pull up'. It sounds trivial and over-simple, but apparently these devices really work well. There's something about a calm, authoritative voice offering simple instructions that really gets to people. I think that safety regulators should mandate devices to give drivers feedback. If you're maintaining less than two seconds following distance you get a calm, unobtrusive voice saying 'pull back, pull back...' If you exceed the speed limit by a certain amount for a certain time you get a voice saying 'slow, slow...' or a noise slowly increasing in pitch (giving the illusion that you're speeding up and triggering instinctive breaking). Maybe there could be limited visual feedback (eg, you get presented with red lights if you enter an intersection on a red light). Idealy, the system would be able to employ a large nubmer of alternate strategies, and would continually adapt to whatever works to slow a particular driver (that way you don't get habbituted). There would, obviously, be a technology outlay for something like this, but I bet it wouldn't be too much, as you woudn't need a different system in each car. I bet it would cut road accidents dramatically. Although voters probably wouldn't like it. There's lots of people out there who think it's their right to break the law and put others in danger on the road.
• You have horns, people. Try being a pedestrian. There's no rage like completely impotent rage. Whee.
• Maybe we'd all be a little more courteous if our cars had tails. (QT)
• The boys in the back of our bus made signs that read WE HAVE FREEDOM ... What an odd thing for people in high school to say.
• WE HAVE SHIVS
• Dear Debaser626, Your unique card-based road rage system allowed me to really rip into that son of a bitch who cut me off at the intersection. Then I followed him home and slashed his tires. Brake fluid!!! Love, Nostrilo
• Speaking of SUV stickers, I've often thought that making and applying "Registered Sex Offender" stickers to particularly hulking SUVs could be fun. The cars are registered, they're sexual symbols, and they're offensive to many. Still haven't crossed the line from fantasy to vandalism, though.
• I don't really see the point in these cards, or in leaving a note on someone else's car after they are gone. You (might) feel better, but the other person ends up feeling more pissed off as well. In the end, you only accomplish increasing the anger and frustration in a situation that really doesn't need any more.
• ...they're sexual symbols... That explains your envy.
• Did someone say envy, rocket? I don't want one, and I didn't see fatoudust saying he/she wanted one either. They're annoying, and they make the incompetent douche bags that tend to buy them even more dangerous on the road. They often inflate the already huge egos of the people that buy them. "Look at me! I'm too fat and chickenshit to actually go fight in the army, but I'm tough like them because I drive a shitty truck designed to look like a hum-vee that chevy made so they can take money from stupid gullible assholes like myself! So get out of my way, I can cut you off if I feel like it because my vehicle is bigger than yours! RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"
• Not having met every large SUV owner, I'm afraid I can't refute your generalization of them. But I'll take your word for it that they're all fat, chickenshit, stupid, gullible, asshole, incompetent douche bags. I mean, they must be, right?
• Look! Puppies & trucks!
• We have no need of puppies. He agrees with me. Although he left out egotistical. It's ok, he probably just forgot.
• I think these cards would be more enraging than not. Off topic, I once used cards with messages like *meet you at the first gas station in the next town* *You are too slow will meet you down the road*or *Need to stop for food or rest room.* to communicate with my friend who was driving the moving truck, when I moved from Wa to Mo. I was driving my car and the poor truck just couldn't keep up through the mountains.
• This thread needs a vehicular kitten.
• I mean *also* needs a vehicular kitten, because naturesgreatestmiracle took care of the puppies, but you couldn't have puppies without kittens, cause they're just so darned cute...
• I can't believe that MoFi continues to steal from BoingBoing. Would it kill you to identify your sources?
• Jesus, there are other sources aside from BoingBoing. Who knows where he got it? I'm getting tired of hearing this one.
• Psssst. The Road Rage Card thingy was just posted yesterday on BoingBoing.
• Suddenly I think fuyu was kidding and I overreacted. My most humble and abject apologies, fuyugare. *bows, scrapes*
• Yeah, sorry, it was meant to be some sort of inside joke. (There was someone recently (samlam?) who kept complaining that we just recycle BB or LiFi posts.) Not very funny, I guess. No need to scrape. *bows*