November 12, 2004

Doctor Discovers the 'Orgasmatron' While Dr. Stuart Meloy was working on a new device to treat chronic pain, he was surprised to discover it could also bring pleasure to his female patients.
posted by Koko 20 years ago
  • This needs to be melded with the below post. Absolutely. Happy Birthday Grandma! How was it for you?
  • *shudder* (uh, the creeped-out kind, that is) Debaser, you're a sick bastard. And a funny one, mind you. I'd like to be able to complain that an automatic orgasm machine for women would make me obsolete, but that would imply that I was remotely adequate in performing that function in the first place...
  • Christ Debaser you beat me to it - mix this thing and the velour huggey and I'd never have to go on another date again....Technology will truely be the answer to every modern woman's problems!
  • If I ever found myself at the point where I would have to resort to implanting electrodes in my spine in order to get off, I honestly think I'd rather just live without.
  • Isn't there already something like this that runs on D-Cells? Oh right. That's a "neck massager." (*winks at Alabama*) This reminds me. I need to rewatch Woody Allen's Sleeper.
  • Hey, I get a lot of neck tension awright? Just back off. And you might want to wash your hands now. No, don't use that soap. The other soap.
  • So let's see, we're undertreating chronic pain with drugs because someone might use the drugs to get high. Now we find out that another chronic pain relief device might get people off. There goes any hope of FDA approval for it! ;)
  • well ... i guess we're useless now, guys
  • I don't think so, pyramid. I don't think they'll be able to invent a device which will also give back rubs, get things from high places, cook, do handiwork, car maintenance, tell them they look great in "insert outfit" (and mean it most of the time), deal with the family gatherings, and a myriad of other things only we can do. However, if they do invent such a device, well, I doubt it will leave the toilet seat up, come home drunk after midnight, abandon them for weeks for Halo 2, stare at other girls (albeit covertly), leave toothpaste all over the sink, and those other things we (well, I anyway) do so well! :)
  • Don't forget killing roaches, covertly worshipping Shannon Tweed, or farting in bed.
  • Yeah! I love that song.
  • Dr. Meloy is practicing his love. Too bad OB/GYNS can't do it anymore, but in this age of outsourcing, I just knew everything would turn out allright!
  • So will I one day have to stop plooking someone so they can change their batteries?
  • Kudos for the name though. I feel like we live with a lot of insecurity about our future not being futuristic enough.
  • As long as there are spiders, men will still be necessity.
  • "a" necessity. :) hiki's gotta remember to preview
  • FedoraUndershirt = funny
  • This is about three years old. A doctor here in Winston-Salem, NC, discovered those nifty secondary effects while working on pain reducing treatments, and despite offering treatment for FREE while testing his device, he couldn't get enough vounteers. This is the South for you, people.
  • Finally, a cure for hysteria.