January 10, 2004

• The wonderful concrete poem by John H. Chandler gets my vote!
• Simiously, forks, I gave it a try: A poem, you say? Without humming or hemming, In every cup of tea I squeeze a little lemming.
• How did the lemming survive? Why is he still alive? Must be 'cause the litttle fella got himself an umbrella.
• The problems of the lemming, They seem to be stemming From the deadly kiss Of a precipice; For when they reach the summit... That's when they plummet.
• I wandered gently as a lem, Saw stars and skies, a diadem, But now I ask but one small thing-- Is three a crowd for a lemming?
• Lemmings are Brown, Delightfully Furry, After they're Dead, Make Wonderful Curry.
• Splatter and Spackle, Rainbows of Blood, Cottontailed Nimbus, Asleep in the Mud, Visions of Heaven Fly Higher and Higher, Isn't it Better To lose that Spare Tire?
• Lemming, Lemming, Furry Blight, In the Sewers of the Night, What Immortality Could you Gain If You'd only take the Train.
• diz: nice!
• In seas of misery lemmings drown, While the salmon spawns and dies -- And every time I think of them I dab at both my bloodshot eyes.
• This is not even new news.
• Pursued by puns, The lemming runs Away from the cliff, Laughs at us all, Refuses to fall, And says "What's the dif? Men want us to fail, But we will prevail. We're looking for quiff. (I backed myself into that one.)
• Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets And watched the smoke that rises from the tailpipes Of lonely men in shirtsleeves, stalled in traffic?... I should have been a horde of stubby tails Hurtling off the edge of icy cliffs.
• A lemming should be fluffable and cute, As a mohair suit. Numb As baby bunnies to the thumb. Silent as the now-cold toddy That makes up your soggy body. A lemming should be wordless Because we've all gone back on our meds. (Apologies to Archie MacLeish!)
• Roughly I spoke to the queens of the earth, Wandering loose-skirt in the leaf-down wood, "What mere memorial is theirs? Why not raw-carved headstones?" At this, the ghosts of lemmings cheered and chewed.
• Ars lemmorum. I like the concrete poem, too. Were we to arrange it for Shockwave Flash and orchestra, it would go something like this: lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming moss tuft, moss tuft lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming moss tuft, moss tuft lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming lemming CLIFF!! CLIFF!! oh, it's a cliff.... d. c. ad infinitum
• I witness an army charging upon the air, A whoosh and swoop of lemmings plunging, foam collaring their necks; Arrogant, in macintoshes, behind them stand, Disdaining the rain, with brollies inside out, the grim accountants.
• Beeswacky: That was so bootiful I could cry! A humble contribution, but mine own: Lemming, Lemming, sphincter tight Over the ledge, into the night What rodental quirk was this That plunged him into the abyss? In what distant deeps he lies XX now glazing his beady eyes? On what wings did he dare aspire? You said he could fly? You dirty liar!
• Humble? Bah! 'Twas very good, BlueHorse! Let this be the ditty you mumble for me, Here a lemming lies where he wished to be, Frozen stiff in the salty cold sea, With an ice-cube still in his gob.
• Lemming evolution led to a revolution, the world is now brimming with lemming that go swimming
• An aged lemming is a paltry thing! -- Like tattered salmon on a plate no more to sing, I am accustomed to their lack of breath. Does the imagination dwell the most Upon the lemming wooed or lemming lost? (Strange, but the clown who made this song is deaf.)
  
• beeswacky: You old flatterer! *simpers* It's all your fault I've gone from bad to verse: I saw lemmings pursuing the horizon; Over and over they sped. I was disturbed at this; I accosted a lemming. "It is futile," I said, "You can never"-- "I'll FLY," he cried, And jumped off. WAIT Didn't Sandburg do a lemming poem? Why did the lemmings jump over the cliff when the one thing we told the lemmings they must not do was jump over the cliff? ummmm, maybe not Jan 25 is Rabbie Burns birthday. So who's going to do "To a Lemming" in his honor?
• (BlueHorse, were you thinking of: The lemming creeps in On lily calves' feet...?) This morning the birches leaf and fresh sprigs tinge the tundra as overland lemmings keep ranking in a thick dark strea that does not seem to be clotting... O Lemming, Lemming, flailing, flinging on, Fall past me, hard upon the shingled shore...
  
• *sigh* For 'strea' please read 'stream'.
  
• Looks like this thread's about deceased. In the spirit of kicking the near-corpse to elicit a groan, I submit two stinkers: Over the cliff the lemming goes And why he did it, no one knows He didn
• Very nice, ya'll. On behalf of the lemmings, I thank you very much.
• Lemmings do not fear a swift misstep From the edge of a nearest cliff. No. But dread of a long slip and slow slide -- This has lemmings terrified. For their small lives are shed Fast as drunken oysters snoring in an oysterbed.
• Let it be, o lemming, as you plummet like any untorched comet-- unstayed, all brown and sere as grief once autumn follows summer's brief -- as paper crumpled on the hearth must breathless wait a stricken match before some fiery lemming-phoenix hatch.
• Lemmings walking across the floor as they pour out the door A climber scouts while a blocker pouts eventually the blocker knows the climber will be digging holes while he oh loyal traffic cop will be cleaned up with a mop
• lemmings, we're told, all jump to their death, and into a watery grave, oh boy; some advocate this to their dying breath, the image is used to sell games, or toys. but biologists claim that this is absurd, though populations do often soar; a feast of fine lemming for fox or for bird, 'til we have surplus lemmings no more. a pattern of overabundance, you say? yes, it occurs in the field; a typical cycle of predator-prey, as lotka-volterra revealed. so don't weep for the lemming; you have my word that this misperception is cinema's fault; one more reason to flip disney the bird; as snopes puts the blame all on walt. thank you, thank you. please hold the applause for the encore.
• This thread is a great relief for me ... click this link so you can see how losing an e and gaining an m could cause childhood misery But now I know it's down to Walt ... and all that teasing was his fault ... I feel so much better but I still can't write poetry
• Loose an E and gain an M -- The pensive dean becomes a damn.
• Whoosh! Plop! Into the sea, Lemmings were born to be free! No matter what fate -- or gravity --brings All lemmings are safe who wear water wings!
• The theory that lemmings rush to the sea with intent to drown gets the axe, But so what if it's all the fault of a ruthless photog who didn't want to muddle folk with facts, But since poets go for myth as much as mush or moonbeams or even monkeyshine, Celebrating the false suicidal life-and-death-dash of lemmings in rhyme will be just fine.
• Lemming, laggard lemming, (Am we akin to you?) Stop this hawing and hemming -- Hop right to it, Leave the cliff And salt your suet!
• Better than when the swallows come back to Capistrano ... the lemmings return!
• I'll be damned! Looks like the old posts are back!
• "Ye are Grandfather Lemming," the youngling said, "and your hair has become worn and short; while your sons drop off ledges and honour your pledges, you never did do as you ought."
• Aah, bees! Actually, I read that last line as you never did do as you ourt and I likes it that way. Which reminds me, some of your misspellings have been works of genius. Fear them not! A Short Lemming Pome Over the cliff Off the top Down go the lemmings Till they go plop 2005 needs more lemmings!
• Heh, that's the only reasonable way to pronounce it, I think, too, BlueHorse.
• Pour all the contents out into the sea, Shark end, not Turbot is heaven for me, Half-chilled with iceberg topped with a herring, Serve garnished with monkfish and one twist of Lemming.
• Neither lemming-ade nor lemming aid can save them now.
• Yes, Bees, my ol granny used to say, "When life gives you lemmings, make lemming-ade." But when I'd squeeze their furry little bodies, all that would result was whine.
• Aaaaargh!!!
• *jumps off cliff*
• *follows*
• *tucks into lemming meringue*
• Strange, how men marvel from afar at how insane these rodents are, and yet such men may drive and die in many a speeding motorcar.
• The Quest High, hollowed in green above the rocks of reason lies the crater lake whose ice the dreamer breaks to find a summer season. 'He will plunge like a plummet down far into hungry tides' they cry, but as the sea climbs to a lunar magnet so the dreamer pursues the lake where love resides. --Denise Levertov
• One of my daughter's friends jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge on Sunday. She did "plunge like a plummet down, far into the angry tides". And she died. She left behind a husband, who was younger than she, and parents who are blaming him for her death. I don't think they're right, but the fall out is that everyone is hurting even more than her death might have if she had succombed to some disease or other. I suspect many of us have contemplated suicide at least once in our lives. The one time I did, seriously, I backed off because I couldn't bear to have my family have to clean up after I'd done it. I've heard others say that they didn't consider the feelings of the survivors when thinking about offing themselves because they felt that their lives were worthless and no one would care. So, what is suicide? Is it protest, or drama, or just taking care of business? These may be stupid questions, but...
• Lemmings of legend run in a mob and throw themselves into the sea, but I think even lemmings, like troubled men, find they die one by one and singly. I doubt there's one answer could cover all cases -- not for men nor for lemmings -- makung their final choices.
• Help: I'm sorry to hear that. As for what suicide is, I think it has as many reasons as there are people. Mostly, it's a lonely act and a selfish one. Sometimes it's rational, and a way to escape a horrible death like cancer. Mostly it's irrational, and comes out of great emotional pain. I don't know if there can be a true explaination. I know when I attempted, I couldn't even leave a note. There was nothing to say. Fortunately, it didn't take, and I got a cool helicopter ride. I guess when the gods throw you back, you better not waste their gift.
• Ah, dear BlueHorse, speaking for myself, I'm so glad ye didn't leave us.
• People possess things that are no good at sea: anchor, rudder, oars and the fear of going down. --Antonio Machado y Ruiz, trans Robert Bly
• =People possess four things
• The curlew trills the knell of parting day, The lemming horde glides slyly towards the sea, As terms and guillemots cry welladay, They leave all shedding of salt tears to me.
• Beeswacky sheds a salty tear It's only crocodile, so I fear But lemmings come, and lemmings go And Bees relates a tale of woe That certainly isn't quite sincere He's only crying in his beer
• Heh. In his tea, today. Though I can entertain hope of more potent if not poetic tipple.
• MONKEYFILTER ON DUBS OR ON TWENTIES IN EITHER CASE IN A DROP TOP
• *dons zoot suit with reat pleats while moths rise in a cloud about his head*
• o tell me, lemming by the sea are you as unsurprised as we how many people never know when a hurricane's prepared to blow?
• lemmings in legend these lemmings' lives were modest filled with their small concerns -- getting and eating each lemming learns isn't all of life, but is deemed best to concentrate upon, before the Journey West then, mad-dashing and tumbling down to the sea and each lemming squeaking "Me! Me! Let me!" their numbers rise as lemming breed and everyone is crowded --"More room is what we need!" And then they go mad, see their only solution' is to cooly plunge into into the northern ocean
• Uncle Walt produced a doc that surely proved to be a crock Unthinking beasts in herds of tens Pushed by pragmatic cameramen Plunged seaward toward the ocean's roar For the sake of Human Metaphor Poor wet little murdered guys. They died so we could rationalize.
• ))) to ye, maryh !!!
• Have a banana!
• Don't hush, little lemming! We've not had enough of your hawing and hemming. The best is yet to be. We won't forget or think you afraid to get your feet wet. We'd rather you hung around and skipped this dipping in the sea Forget the cliff, forget the plunge, and just inspire more poetry.
• I'm amazed and astounded That this thread has rebounded and attracted a great monkey throng. But my threadtrek needs tending though it seems neverending So I bid you fair monkeys, "so long!"
• This one was fun, a non-haiku poetry thread -- where BlueHorse first revealed her bent for poetry. They're not white birds, there's no swan-song -- a last ker-plunk and then they're gone. Or that is how the legend goes of lemmings who must drown their woes. Lemmings don't know this, they're largely untaught -- some years they've lots to eat, and some years not.
• **blushes** **curtsies** Why, thank you, Bees. You are quite gallant. Your words are honey. I've little talent. A master's touch, You do have truly. Your words are gentle and not unruly.
• Why do the lemmings jump into the sea? Is lemming life so futile, so unkind? Relax, sweet little lemmings! Chill! Unwind! Don't end your lemming life in tragedy! Or is there something else we just don't see? The existential thoughts of lemming mind That human hearts can never hope to find: The secret of your dread philosophy. We do not understand why you must go, But lemmings have no room for doubt, or fear. Dear lemmings - be at peace 'neath sea and foam, We would not share your fate, nor ever know The silent call: beyond the human ear; The inner lemming voice that calls you home.
• **tosses confooti**
• ))), mothninja!!!
• Wow, moth! That's the best lemming sonnet I've ever read!
• Lemmings of legend got easily bored, each one thinking: So dull! it's horrid! The same old moss and same old snow and never anywhere new to go! Their lives were litanies of complaint. And so they took the plunge. And now they ain't.
• Steamed Lemming with Sauce by Christine L. Santos and Patrick I. White (tastes like chicken!) Serves 4 Find a herd of Lemmings. Set a trap at the edge of a cliff. Stampede the dinner into it. Discard the old, sick and damaged ones. Gather the rest into a large basket. Skin the lemmings and remove the heads, save these for the gravy. Marinade the Lemmings overnight in a mixture of 3 gal. cooking sherry, 1 lb. garlic powder and salt & pepper to taste. Boil 5 gal. water in a large pot. Steam the Lemmings in a large bamboo steamer with carrots, asparagus and baby onions for 3 hours. Make your sauce in a side pot. We recommend Pesto, Alfredo or a nice Marinara sauce. Serve on a bed of wild rice. Bon appeit! (Again with the recipes!) Serve with Lemming-ade.
• Lemming abuse! This is terrible news if you are a lemming and tired of swimming.
• Lemmings hate swimming in cold water this is nothing new. But lemmings hate swimming in hot water, because then they're easily stew.
• lemming avoid swimming in soapy water and salty water too but so does the ocelot the orangutan the vole and the bounding kangaroo
• lemmings avoid the fire they do not like the heat overcrowding drives 'em crazy 'cause there's not enough to eat
• lemmingwise ah, they're creatures of legend not reality these lemmings allegedly drowned in the sea their lives are quite simple there's not much to do except to find edibles and chew them ... and chew avoiding the fox and the hungry white owl and any other hunter with motive to prowl when verdure's abundant lemmings multiply madly like all critters that creep or make poems badly when lemmings are many next season sees more and so on and so forth until comes the horror once they grow so many they run out of food why, lemmings then starve as you or I would
• This one's for Bees: A cooking poem (with lemmings) By the "Commander" Dachsund slice. Take one Dachsund, elongated, (Check to see it's use-by-dated). Grate the nose into a dish And add a shoal or two of fish. Mix together, adding lice, Or failing that, some fleas are nice. Add some bees and worms to taste, Or if you fancy, Lemming paste. Squash the body (use a brick 'cos otherwise it's much too thick). Slice and fry in Lion juice, (At Christmas time use juice of Goose). Remove from flame and stir the pot But please make sure the Dog is hot. Serve upon a Wilderbeast; What a tasty canine feast!
• NOOO!!! NAAYYYY!!!! NEVER add BEES to taste!!!
• so softly they tread those tiny lemming feet amid the long hush of evening and eventual defeat legend would have it lemming die with appalling facility but in reality removed from mythic shores lemmings eat and breed and fold those tiny paws while on their sprawling backs they snore
• Beautiful, bees!

• My lemming pal, where are you going?
  My lemming pal, where are you going?
  My lemming pal, where are you going?
  My lemming pal, where are you going?
  My lemming pal, 
                  where are you going?
  My lemming pal, 
                  where are 
                            you going?
  My lemming 
             pal, 
                  where 
                        are you going?
  My lemming 
             pal, 
                  where 
                        are you 
                                going?
  
  No
  
  
            wait
  
  
                      come
  
  
  
  
  
                              back!
  
  
  
  
   
  
                 splat

• the facts lemmings dive as ye may see into their chow but not the sea first they eat and then they breed these rodents flourish while they feed but after all their food runs out then lemmings die without a doubt
• The lemmings marched in, two by two to say, 'You must write something new!' I told them no, this could not be, 'Legend demands ye drown in the sea!' But there was just no reasoning with them. They all went on strike, refusing to lem.
• 'tis better to have have lemmed and leapt than never to have lemmed at all.
• Hymn for Lemming Aid (Sung to the grand old tune of "The Red Flag") (Unknown) 1. The lemmings" fate it haunts us yet, In these dark days could we forget That they in deep despair do bide And drown their hopes in suicide. 2. Upon the tundra long ago, A lemming tree stood in the snow Where every five years at its roots The lemmings held their lemming moots. 3. But oh to tell the saga sad The tree was felled by men so bad And every lemming far and near Drowned itself in grief and fear. Chorus (after each verse) We raise our lemming banner high Without our help they still might die Though men may rant and men may rave Perforce their fate we still may waive. To finish the dirge rightly it is customary to chant the haunting refrain known long ago in the book of lemming folklore as "The Lay of the Last Lemming" which they all sing as they fling themselves into the cold North Sea. It is passed down to us, corrupted by the years as "Lemon Tree". Lemming tree very pretty And the lemming flower is sweet But alas for the poor lemmings No longer can they meet. ***Finis*** Voices were raised in the worthwhile cause of Lemming Aid in Toorak Village, Australia. This "Save the Lemmings" march was organised by the Goon Club at Melbourne. UP THE LEMMINGS!
• No. But, and by all means, hurray for The Goon Club of Melbourne!
• grumpy lemmings reciprocate by raising money for some feckless cause such as the Society for the Prevention of Melbourne, Oz [SPOGMO]
• A Goony Lemming is worth three Of them which jump into the sea Though finding some is difficult Without the aid of catapult
• Yay!!! Where ye been, laddie?
• *throws arms around Petebest, sobbing and smiling
• *waves to petes* lemmings tunnel undersnow and munch the stuff that grows below they don't live in lemming packs or a herd and as for mass suicide, that myth's absurd because if lemmings really intended to do themselves in they'd simply light a cigarette and suck that nicotine deep in
• ... lemming tree very pretty and the lemming flour's sweet ...
• ... but the snoot of the poor lemming smells poorly, smells of feet.
• few things smell sae sweet as a lemmings' wee feet and the world wad be poorer if lemmings were fewer
• Lemming raw Develops the jaw But lemming stewed Is more quietly chewed With apologies to Ogden Nash This thread is AWESOME! I only just found it today, and something about being on massive quantities of migraine medication made me bold enough to post
• Ahhhh, it warms the cockles of my heart to think there's folks shuffling around in the archives. Wait! Those are our archives. Who knows what they'll find there??? STOP! Geddoutta those archives! OK Speedlime. Just drop the lemmings and back away slowly. Oh, yea. Leave the poem. It's great.
• *drops poem and backs up slowly* No, no, that's NOT a lemming poking out of my handbag. Really! It's a weasel! For real... The last time I went to Ikea, they had PLUSH WEASELS. How awesome is that? I bought three of them.
• "I'm sorry but we're going to have to confiscate the weasel" was the best pickup line I ever heard. Or wanted to, anyway.
• Did you really fall for that old one, Pete? Sheesh. You'd hook up with any kind of fuzzy lover, wouldn't you?
• a lover of fuzz my sweet lemming was but I all of a sudden can't find him he's followed his feet to where sky and sea meet and left my heart broken behind him
• softly as lemming lurks under the snow crust sharper than ears of the arctic fox lemming shall do what lemming must feeding and breeding both go on trust welcome a new year never will lemming fear the depth of the sea or the crack in the cliff welcome a new charade with marvels surpassing unneeded lemming aid and scarcely a what-if
• lemmings crowd in darkness now for in the north the sun is sunk young lemmings think daylight's a myth but does it matter what they thunk who haven't much to ponder with? for a lemming's but a tiny beast to fox and owl a snack not feast
• Comment 5168 above is what compelled me to love you, too, BlueHorse with a flair for poetry. Decided to hang around a while longer, way back when, bee cause of it. ;]
• The Lemmings by John Masefield (1878-1967) written in 1916 Once in a hundred years the Lemmings come Westward, in search of food, over the snow; Westward until the salt sea drowns them dumb; Westward, till all are drowned, those Lemmings go. Once, it is thought, there was a westward land Now drowned where there was food for those starved things, And memory of the place has burnt its brand In the little brains of all the Lemming Kings. Perhaps, long since, there was a land beyond Westward from death, some city, some calm place Where one could taste God's quiet and be fond With the little beauty of a human face; But now the land is drowned. Yet we still press Westward, in search, to death, to nothingness. (Just think how long this thread would be if the intarwebs had been around in 1916)
• lemming lemming on the cliff ye have become a thing of myth