January 09, 2004

• **submits goatse.cx jpeg, waits for next wedding invitation**
• Best suited for moms who want to humilliate their kids during birthday parties.
• Squeeeeeee! This is great. I'm so excited.
• ...and the world will never be the same.
• Best suited for moms who want to humilliate their kids during birthday parties. Or those who wish to use advanced imaging technology to shower the happy couple with pictures of what their spouse will look like in thirty years time.
• Bah! You grinches! I have so many ideas it's stupid. I've saved nearly every photo I've ever taken with my digital camera and I have a birthday coming up and parties coming up and people are going to *love* this.
• Don't let the fact that we're all lonely, bitter misanthropes put you off, Kimberley - spread the love, confoti-style! You know we're all going to do it anyway - except our pictures will be of ourselves, sitting alone in a cold room at dusk, staring folornly at an empty, crumpled cigarette packet as the frigid winter sun sinks on another futile day. Then we shall use the confoti to create a bleak snowfall across our own shoulders, as we slowly dance our lonely way through a grim parody of the marriage ritual, trying with tear-blurred eyes to line up the cracks in the mirror with the scars on our face... **Ahem.** More beer, I think.
• flashboy: You owe me a new freakin' keyboard. And a coke. Damn you.
• Terribly sorry. I'll email you a new keyboard tomorrow. The coke's in the post. MonkeyFilter: A grim parody of the marriage ritual.
• Add me to the list of new-keyboard-needers. But I was drinking Fanta, not Coke.
• Okay, so that's two keyboards, a coke and a Fanta? Would you folks like some bread before that? A kittyshake, perhaps? Okay, just the computer goods, sure thing. We'll get that for ya right away, just once Cousin Amos done finished griddlin' the graphics cards. Y'all have a nice day now! (Cheeky wink)
• At first I pictured dozens of people using hole punches on photos. Than I saw it was digital. How silly I felt. Now I just think its dozens of people using hole punches on *digital* photo printouts. Now, I'm thinking with gas!
• Hmm. Back in the previous century, my daughter and a friend bought some round, silvery dot, confetti stuff to celebrate Christmas. I told them they could throw it only at the Christmas tree, since that would have to be vacumed, anyway, which they did, and which I did (vacumed like crazy.) In the next month, the silver dots were impossible to get rid of in our house, and showed up in the houses of every friend they had. They appeared in my car,and I even tracked several into my work place. It seemed to me that they were spawning. We moved to New Jersey a year later. At first, everything seemed safe, but then the dots began to appear in random places on the carpet. Some of them, if you picked them up and squeezed them would go from a seemingly singular dot to 16 dots! Ah, the horror! But, we found a pottery jug marked "Magic" and put all the dots we found in it and closed it with it's cork lid. It seemed to contain them. We moved back to the Bay Area in California, and seemed to have left the dots behind. But, a year or so after I moved to the central valley, I found 2 silver dots on the carpet! I think they're in hiding now, spawning, and will attack soon. In other words, do you really want pictures of someone's birthday party or wedding to haunt you for the rest of your life!
• path is wise. I'm still being followed around by small silver stars that a friend spilled in my bedroom three years ago. They've followed me from Cambridge to London to Edinburgh to Cornwall, back to Cambridge and then to two seperate houses in London again. Nowhere is safe - not home, not work, not the houses of friends and relatives, not even your local pub. I can see one on the floor now as I type this. Don't mess with forces you don't understand.
• flashboy and path, don't you know about the risks of introducing new species to a foreing environment? At the time of this writting There have been reports of giant silver confetti stuff sightings in NJ subway and sewers. And at least one confirmed attack on a hapless cleaning guy trying to get rid of them.
• Heheh, foreing. I had the same problem with the little beans out of beanbags, after a friend used them to fill my dorm room in a prank almost ten years ago now. I still find them amongst my plants and some turned up in my dresser the other day - which I've only had for two years.
• My favourite is the "Confoti Craze" link, presumably implying that confoti is sweeping the globe and you'd best jump on the confoti bandwadgon or be terminally depressed. Much like the WMD, it's just not happenin'
• Dang, there goes the confoti bandwagon, and I just missed it. **Tears up ticket, tosses pieces.**