October 19, 2004

• Yeah, asexuality is in. Whooo-hooo! Big fucking (or not-fucking) deal! Let's get all worked up about a fashionable word that we are all going to bandy about for the next couple of months or so and then abandon it. Remember "virtual reality", remember "y2k", remember for that matter "metrosexuality"? More fodder for day time talk shows... Wake me up when it is over.
• I think that unlike metrosexuality, which did not actually involve having intercourse with urban areas, this is an actual medical/genetic condition.
• Some will still consider it a 'curable condition' Some also consider homosexuality a 'curable condition'.
• Squidranch - and tell them damned kids to get off my lawn
• metrosexuality, which did not actually involve having intercourse with urban areas It... wha- Uh. Yeah. I knew that. Of course. *brushes dust off trousers*
• Hey you little fuckers, get the fuck off Argh's lawn!!!! Don't make me go outside!!!
• hm. see, homosexuality used to be thought of as a mental defect or disease, too (and in some places/cases, is still thought of as such). I've known people who have no interest or desire for sexual intercourse (< token bitch >including an ex or two< /token bitch >), so maybe it is for real and for true. it's very interesting that this isn't a celibacy or abstinence thing - there's no mention of the ridiculous lengths many Xtians go to, the virginity pledges and so on (what's the recidivism rate on those? 80%? Anyone got any stats?) apart from the obvious evolution/survival of the species arguments, is 'asexuality' as defined here such a bad thing? i know i couldn't do it, but is there an asexualist monkey out there who is confident to explain what it's all about?
• I think someone is holding out on us.
• I just wish they wouldn't be so...blatant about it. I don't care what these people do in the privacy of their own homes but this kind of 'thing' should not be 'encouraged.' And what about the children?
• Denial. It ain't just a river in Egypt.
• I don't see the connection between asexuality and metrosexuality. Thought metrosexual was a term to define the (sometimes, narcisistic) urban male, with money to spend who likes urban life without being gay. Wasn't the term initially coined to describe the "odd" behaviour of a British athlete? For some unknown reason the whole issue of asexuality has been getting a lot of attention recently. Newest fad perhaps?
• I think we need an amendment ASAP-- first they want to brainwash our kids in school that having sex with nobody is OK, next they'll want to not marry each other!
• Correction ActuallySettle: not masturbating is a great way to while away the time while having a strep throat.
• Five yard penalty for mexican; failure to read the [more inside]... Quote...Yes, this is a clone of the post at MeFi, but I just felt that both forums needed a break from the political posts, and what's more fun than talking about NOT having sex? ...Unquote. Newest fad perhaps? On the nose, beeza (and squidranch). The media has to swarm around a new word ending in "-sexual" at least once every two years. Which has nothing to do with people who have low-or-nonexistant sex drives learning to live better with it. Asexual Pride? That kind of overcompensating is not pretty, but probably inevitable. Considering that I outed myself as an Asexual on this forum a couple days ago (and I have definately noticed my appetite for sex, while never high, took a nosedive since I've been using Prozac), it just seemed more than a co-inkydink that the NewScientist article is getting a lot of attention right now. On preview, right on, drjimmy11. Say, what kind of doctor ARE you?
• Anyone who's ever had sexual intercourse cannot really call themselves asexual. Even masturbation, for that matter, is a sexual act. "Asexual sexual identity" is prima facie nonsense. Now me, I am not asexual. I am anti-sexual. I think people have too much sex. I think we are long overdue for some negative population growth.
• [bananas] Now, I'm not saying this is bananas, merely that it is deserving of that fine, sweet, yellow, phallic...oh no, I'm not asexual.
• wendell: And most monkeys do not have, nor are ever likely to have mefi accounts. So who really gives a fuck what they're discussing over there... Your asexuality is drug induced, though - it's not your "normal" state, presumably. (Waits for "asexual pride" to be highjacked by sex-hating religions...)
• Some are born asexual, some acheive asexuality, and some have asexuality... er, thrust upon them.
• On preview, right on, drjimmy11. Say, what kind of doctor ARE you? Doctor of really llking the album "Quadrophenia" by The Who, specifically track 5 on disc 2. ("Doctor Jimmy" is the name of the track, if you're not a fan)
• rogerd, in 49 years of a wide variety of physical states, I wouldn't know a "normal state" if it bit me (which I hope it wouldn't). But then, I've lived most of my life in Californium, which everybody knows is no normal state... And flashboy, wouldn't having sexuality "thrust upon them" be an excuse to be Asexual? Just askin'.
• Oh for the love of Christ. "I have no interest in having sex and I'm here to tell the world about it!" Who cares? I have no interest in jumping out of airplanes - who wants to join my little club?
• Sooooz, does that make you Aparachutical?
• Squidranch I actually managed to masturbate but I barely felt anything because I was having a really bad fever at the time. It was a total waste, and you are a bastard.
• That "incel" site for some reason just makes me angry. No I am not "involuntarily" celibate. I just don't care at all. The Western concept of "relationships" appears to me hollow, manipulative, and unnecessarily stressful. It obscures the practical reasons for reproduction in an elaborate emotional schema for no purpose other than idle engagement. I refuse the silly role of a sexual deviant. If I must ally myself to a group, I would prefer the Hindu concept of a brahmachari, a scholar who from a young age decides to devote his life entirely to his studies. I don't understand what "asexual pride" means. What is there to be proud of? Asexuality is not an achievement; it isn't even worthy of mention. Asexuals are not being oppressed; they don't have religions condemning them, nor do they have legal obstacles to their natural desires. Asexuality is not a movement, people.
• Tensor is right. The one big thing I've learned about sex is that it means absolutely nothing more than what you want it to, and if you're a complete dumbass that means you will make it mean almost everything. For me it's just a fun thing me and my special friend do together. That's about it.
• Squidranch I actually managed to masturbate but I barely felt anything because I was having a really bad fever at the time. It was a total waste, and you are a bastard. Larry David: "the closest I ever came to death was masturbating when i had a really high fever" that always made me laugh although I must admit to not quite getting it- but there may be nothing to get.
• There basically wasn't anything to get. It wasn't painful or anything but wasn't good. It should have been at least okay given that I haven't given it to anyone for like a week. I did it for YOU squidranch. I did it for YOU. I was thinking about you......................................................................[/creepy internet person omg!!!!]
• Asexuality is in. You mean on purpose?
• Asexuals are not being oppressed; they don't have religions condemning them... As the former half of a heterosexual couple who chose not to have children, I always had the feeling that after "they" got all the homosexuals, we would be next. There are plenty of people who believe (usually religiously) that not procreating makes you a bad person, for whatever reason. We're all in this together...
• MonkeyFilter: Like masturbating with a really high fever.
• wendell, it's the drugs. trust me on this. Serotonic re-uptake inhibitors pretty much kill the desire and/or the ability.
• Did someone say "sex"? Where? What? Who?
• Serotonic re-uptake inhibitors pretty much kill the desire and/or the ability. YMMV. Mine just make me last much, much longer - much to Mrs Skrik's delight.
• I don't understand what "asexual pride" means. What is there to be proud of? I know someone who is pretty happy she's not part of what she calls the "population explosion of human parasites." Though that's usually the only thing she's happy about. She's not often the cheerful type.
• wendell: our best friends back in Missouri are a consciously childless couple who'd agree with you. Complete strangers have made the most offensive comments to them (usually the wife) upon finding out about their decision, and many, many people seem to think it's their business, somehow, to ensure everyone spawns a few times. I think they're all just busybodies with a twisted moral code. I have to confess that men who act this way creep me out more than women (I have no idea why), but the women all seem to be of a type: those who adore babies to the point that they'll approach strangers and touch them and their children and buy those fucking stupid calenders at mall kiosks featuring children dressed up as grapes or stuffed animals. I think these people are missing a chromosome (or possibly saddled with a couple extra), but I can't be sure. When my wife was pregnant with our last child, one of these deluded monsters actually reached out and stroked her belly while she was distracted (we were shopping, she was eight months along, I have no idea what freakish thing she was craving any more). I've rarely seen my wife so angry: she actually slapped the woman's hand away hard enough that I heard it from about fifteen feet away. As I was an officer at the time, it was amusing to tell the slapped idiot (who was loudly complaining) that what she'd done was considered assault, and that if she didn't shut up and leave us alone, I'd arrest her.
• You know, this topic seems ripe for a Larry the Chimp and Adam episode, but for the life of me, I got nothin.
• Sex is for procreation, not recreation. And marriage is for breeding purposes.
• Living in Oregon is a fucking trip.
• I don't know, but I don't doubt that the media, which has been trying to hypersexualize everything past all reason, is curiously fascinated by people who feel that sex is more trouble than it's worth.
• coppermac: I have to admit to telling a couple of friends who are determined not to have kids that I think it's a pity - mostly because the majority of people I know in that position would most likely make good parents and are smart and generally likely have a good combination of genes/nuture to endow; when there are so many fuckheads pumping out and raising kids in ways that would get you banned from raising dogs, it seems a shame some of the better bits of the human race aren't spawning. Conversely, I had to reassure a friend who wasn't 100% sure she didn't want kids that she's probably making the right decision - if only because if it turns out to be a mistake, the only person who's unhappy is her. If she has kids and it turns out she was right to think it would be a bad idea, they get to suffer too. wendell: Most anti-depressants kill libido. The only exception, according to the crazymeds people, is Wellbutrin, which will lift it. (Wellbutrin. It'll cure depression, help you lose weight, amp up your sex drive, and help you quite smoking. Is there anything it can't do?)
• rodgerd: It's how I view it as well. I don't want kids and have known I didn't want them since I was about 18 or so. I get weird looks from people when they ask when I'm going to start having them and I tell them I'm not going to. I also get many people telling me, "it'll be different once you have them trust me". It's not like you can return a baby to the baby store if you've decided you made a mistake so, I'm unwilling to test their theory out. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting to have kids.
• oy. It's not about not having sex, it's about not wanting sex. Why is this clear to me and so few others? Identity isn't what you do, it's what you want. Otherwise virgins would all be asexual, which is silly. Anyone who's ever had sexual intercourse cannot really call themselves asexual. Can a man who's had intercourse with a woman never, ever say he's gay? Perhaps a person in that situation made a try at sex and decided s/he didn't like it or didn't want it after all. In high school I used to say I was asexual because I wasn't interested in the whole dating-social-construct-popularity-contest-mindgame thing. Turns out I was a late bloomer. Now I wish I weren't interested after all. I envy people who honestly couldn't be bothered and can spend their time worrying about other things.
• un-f**k. "identity" switch to "orientation" because not enough caffeine I'm done now.
• "researcher in human sexuality published the first tentative figures for the number of asexual people in the population, which suggested that there might be almost as many asexual people as there are gay individuals. " HA HA HA.... yeah ok.
• I am a bastard.
• Metrosexuality is out. So, does this mean I can stop going to the spa weekly for a pedicure and a fauxhawk? Cool, sign me up!
• (Wellbutrin. It'll cure depression, help you lose weight, amp up your sex drive, and help you quit smoking. Is there anything it can't do?) I tried it and it didn't do anything. That's why the doctors fell back on ol' Prozac. As I said before, I've always had a relatively low sex drive (and went through the discomfort of trying to overcompensate) and -WHY AM I TELLING YOU MONKEYS THIS?- I experienced the same effect as Skrik, much to my ex's NON-delight. ("Are you there yet?") But in my physical state of the last couple years, more than a half-hour of any sustained activity will send me to the hospital... :)
• WHY AM I TELLING YOU MONKEYS THIS? Because we wurve you, Wendell. I thought that was obvious from the start. Maybe I should go and see a psychiatrist/psychologist. I do have depression and a few suicide not-quite-attempts before and I'm quite disturbed that my sex drive is rather high. Prozac might help on both fronts, considering I currently do not have a boyfriend, and not really intending on having one till I finish my studies.
• Because your sex drive has been submlimated into a desire to share, Wendell 8). Bummer about the Wellbutrin. Here in New Zealand the bummer for people with depression is that the Health department will only approve it as a quit smoking drug, not as an anti-depressant, leaving people with the "get fat, lose interest in sex" types available. More than one depressive I know has threatened to take up smoking and tell their doctor they need it to quit... (This mirrors, while I'm rambling about the NZ health system, the way that the Diane 35 contraceptive and generics thereof can't be used as a contraceptive, only a skin-care product. Seriously. There are a lot of women with terrible, terrible skin problems who have to bear the burden of infertility as a side effect, apparently.) Alnedra: You don't need a boyfriend to have sex.
• rodgerd: I know. But I hate having to wash so much underwear all the time :P Besides, sex is really much more fun (if not as satisfying) when there's someone else to play with ;)
• Help, help, Alnedra broke my mind! (Don't they have fuckbuddies where you are?)
• I'm sorry, rodgerd! Do you need some sticky tack to put it back? Well, if someone would have saggy ole me. *sigh* *meaningful looks at UK [heterosexual and currently unattached] monkeys*
• Ah yes, rodgerd. It's amazing how many poor students are on the Pill for "skin-care" problems. The university medical clinic offered to prescribe the Pill to girls and claim it was for acne because it saved some ridiculous amount of money. I know that's how I got it.
• Pfft, Alnedra, I can't believe you wasted that MoFi meet! ;)
• Monkeybashi, you're right as usual. I had the great urge to drag flashboy and wash his hair. Dunno why. I also had the urge to kiss quidnunc's eye. But that was cos the poor dear cracked the bone under it. Besides, my "big brother" was there. He fusses alot.
• It'll bounce back on its own just fine. And I'd want to know where the sticky tack had been 8). There are 60 million people in the UK: "Asian woman with high sex drive seeks men for no-strings attached shagging. Warning, Asian woman not buff!" - the only problem I can see with *that* is that you'll have a problem wading through the number of candidates to find the good ones.
• Welbutrin only for quitting smoking? ha, in the US my insurance would only approve it for treatment of depression! had to use those horrible patches on my S.O. as a result. also, for those who are suffering some of the side effects of Prozac, you might want to look into Celexa (next gen SSRI, fewer reported side effects on the libido).
• Also, Lexapro.
• I just re-read this thread. ActuallySettle, that is fucking hot. I had cyber sex and I wasn't even aware of it. Come to think of it, my loins were a itchin' about two days ago, but that might have been the rash...
• BTW, Alnedra can you return those socks that you got me? *squidranch blushes* You know what I really want for my birthday?
• I try to be factual. And keep it simple. I know one thing about socks: they're asexual. And socks are practical, actually you can walk and talk in socks. I like sex a lot better than socks. Mostly, socks come in pairs, so do most affairs, unless you feel up to some fancier tricks. You can talk during sex or read books or eat whether or not you have socks on both feet.
• Hi beeswacky. What's your deal? Why do you comment in every post with what appears to be babble? Just curious.
• Babble? BABBLE?!? tensor, I'd slap you silly if somebody hadn't beaten me to it! Beeswacky is the Desigated Poet Laureate of MonkeyFilter... All but his shortest comments are either rhyming verse, iambic pentameter or a parody of the writing style of the MoFi-hated Turkmenbashi (who DOES babble) I'm beginning to think we need a FAQ here...
• DesigNated... We need a spell checker too...
• Uh, right, "poetry". You don't need to slap me silly. I'll happily take the hint. Bye.
• Uh...
• To nobody second I'm certainly reckoned a poo philanthropist. "Tis my most simian endeavour, To make, to some extent, Each gibbering thread A thing of dread with harmless merriment. My object all sublime I shall achieve in time -- To make the doggerel fit the crime, the doggerel fit the crime... I really do admire William Schwenk Gilbert tremendously, but no one would guess that from this barbarous effusion. Bad beeswacky!
• Ciao, tensor.
• I keep reading the title of this post as "UncleFuck You!"
• I'm normally sorry to see people go, but to anyone who insults our own beeswacky: good riddance.
• But the whole thing happened so quickly. No real blood was drawn. Kind of anticlimatic. Sometimes folks can get so, I don't know...precious, touchy, er something.
• precious, touchy, er something I think he was just tensor something.
• Nice, quidnunc, nice.
• I think he just needed a good fuck.
• *hugs quidnunc*
• If he'd stuck around here, he'd have inevitably needed to change his handle to something lesstense.
• You know- Of all the flame outs, this was the best. The bright electric blue of beeswacky drew him- POP! And then he was gone.
• I think he just needed a good fuck. I think that's far too true, truer than he knows. Stay in touch with your animal side, folks.