October 02, 2004
"I enclose two small deposits , selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture."
This just completely fails to load for me. Luckily the Coral version works.
Pretty smooth operation, this NTL.
F*cking brilliant. Pretty much describes the kind of service a company a friend of mine used to work for gave. That's why she used the rival's service, to her ex-employers total indifference.
In my experience, the biggest red flag for bad customer service is a website loaded with "shiny happy people". For example, Earthlink, AOL, and SBC. Wish a Wankometer could be developed for shiny happy people graphics.
I'd like to know where to get a cat that makes a "small deposit?" Mine are both set to gargantuan...
Let's see...the standard feline adjustment from "gargantuan"...ah, here. You have to rotate the tail counter-clockwise until it clicks three times. That should set the cat to "small", which initially is also the factory default. HTHHAND.
clockzero wins.
NTL, eh? What a coincidence.
NTL is reeling from an embarrassing and potentially offensive howler which meant callers to its customer services helpline were told to "f*ck off".
According to newspaper reports, the company is attributing the message that replaced its usual recorded greeting to a malicious hacker or a disgruntled employee.
The message in full, which contained a flurry of four-letter words, said: "Hello. You are through to NTL customer services. We don't give a f*ck about you. We are never here. We will f*ck you about, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just f*ck off and leave us alone. Get a life."
No f*cking need to f*cking click on my f*cking link, f*cking obviously.
I, too, have suffered greatly at the hands of NTL. They are indeed a bunch of worthless cretins.
"Good news everybody! NTL is taking over ISP Virgin Net!"
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