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August 17, 2004

"Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!"

We all need a bit of randomness sometimes.

I'd have to say that North American toilets take a bit of getting used to. All that water underneath, and the chance to see a turd go floating past if you casually glance down while sitting.

And, just for the record, I have definitely splashed myself on occasion (or is that an overshare?)

Holy cr- . .

*snort* Germans. go figure.

props to mrk for unearthing our new word of the day: Sitzpinkel! Sitzpinkel! Sitzpinkel!

polychrome, this quote is for you:

"For the wave to reach one's bottom, one would need to eject a hefty pellet at tremendous velocity.


Great find, mrk!

Wave yes, splash no.

splash dynamics (has nothing to do with the article, but sounds funny in context.)

I've splashed myself hundreds and hundreds of times in my life. It's the ker-plunk effect. Comes from not getting enough roughage.

Monkeyfilter: Features a built-in stool inspection shelf

"Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!" exclaims G√ľnter, joyful and relieved.

Jeebus. If it weighed two kilos, I'd be joyful and relieved too.

on the splashing, I remember seeing an interview ages ago with Eddie Murphy in which he mentioned that, starting out in comedy as a teenager, all he could talk about was splashing on the toilet, as he didn't yet have any other life experiences on which to draw for material.

ambrosia - also walking funny

The splashing, ladies and gentleman, is what we refer to down here as the Redneck Bidet.


I think Australia has the greatest toilets on the planet. The have two buttons; one is short flush, the other long. You choose depending on what kind of business you're taking care of. Neither of them mess around; there's no slow swirl of water draining. Instead, there's some sort of sonic flush, and the water gets the hell out of the bowl in a hurry. Both short and long flushes seem industrial strength for commercial purposes, but they're in residential loo's. (I can't say if they're in every home, but I did see these tolets in all 3 homes I visted there.)

Sorry. I kinda have a chubby for Ozzie toilets.

Mr Knickerbocker - those (dual flush) became mandatory in the early 80s. I like em, but they intimidated my g'friend when she first encountered them.

I always loved (okay, "loved" is a bit strong) the toilets in ferries and planes, the sucking noise! "sccchhhhhhh-ploop"

The shelf thing really grossed me out when I was there, but generally speaking, it did seem in line with the national character.

A nice tip for dealing with um, shelf smear is to put a TP palette down before you go. If you think there's a chance the water pressure won't be there to to really clean up when you are done, you can grab a dry edge and drag it into the drink before you flush.

Think that shelf is weird? Just try using a
japanese toilet!

So it's shit day?

Nah, Nostrildamus, its just an absolutely craptasstic post!


More potty talk here.

Monkeyfilter: You can feel a kick as the turd ricoches off the underside

(too soon?)

*shudder* An American has no place critiquing toilets. The American poo-floater is a filthy abomination. And this person must drop clusters of turdlets not to have to worry about splashback. Yuck.

I've heard it said that the squat-method is somehow healthier than western-style, though I'm not quite sure why. And aren't there any German monkeys that can tell us why thier toilets are like this?

I'm down with the dissing on the North American toilet. It became a joke thing with anyone who came to visit us from NZ, because it really did freak a few people out how much water was in there and how close said water was to your butt. And they never seem to flush fully; there's always bits of paper left drifting around. Ew.

And yes, Australian and NZ toilets are deisgned that way to save water - there's a limit on how much water a toilet can flush, basically.

humandictionary, I imagine it's all about keeping your delicate bottom away from a pre-used toilet seat.

Thanks for more info on the dual flush, polychrome. I'll use it next time I tell someone how awesome Ozzie toilets are (which'll probably be tonight).

No - I think it's to do with the position - Here are some of the claims regarding health benefits of squatting.

Foreigns are funny

jb--good link. Squatting makes a lot of sense to me, for the simple fact that it's a natural body position--sitting on a chair/toilet is technological innovation, relatively recent in human evolutionary histroy. Still, I lived in S. Korea for two years, and it was hard to get used to squat toilets. I generally, um, "held out" for western-style toilets (which are very plentiful as well.)

There are kits available to convert a western toilet to squat style (basically a sturdy platform with a hole in it.)

When I was in India, it was interesting to see people out squatting in the fields. It seemed like they always did it at dusk.

There's a very popular series of TV ads in S. Korea currently, featuring famous Korean comics, advertising "LooLoo" a fancy newfangled bidet. I like the part where the actors go soaring up into the air on streams of water with looks of surprise and pleasure.

I've heard those Japanese toilets play music.I wonder if you can download different songs to your toilet, kinda like ringtones? I want my toilet to play "Jump" by Van Halen. I don't know why. Maybe "Under the Sea" would be better. I think I should go to sleep now.

I lived in Germany a year and honestly I didn't remember having to flush 5 times like the article assumed one had to do, although most of it was not too far off. I'm pretty sure it's all related to water conservation. European States are crazy about conservation so it doesn't surprise me that one of the first places they would look to save water is the toilet. That was one of the first things I noticed when I came back to the States, "Geez, the toilet is almost completely full of water!" It was definitely something to get used to, that "splashback" on the delivery.

I first came across these "display toilets" in Holland. Oy.

I can see a world tour of toilets is on the agenda.

Monkeyfilter: Dropping Clusters of Turdlets

Lavvies of the world

National public toilet map - Australia

Toilet museum in South Korea.

My pet peeve is the cheapass toilets typically installed by the builder in new cookie-cutter American subdivisions. These toilets, which probably cost $12.50 wholesale, have largely abandoned the centrifuge concept. All the material simply collapses downward into one massive singularity, forming a giant ball that clogs the toilet.

the health argument about squatting that i've read was something to the effect of the muscles used have to work extra hard in the sitting position. That and the whole "not natural" thing.

Now who's up for a discussion about paper vs. water cleaning?!

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