August 16, 2004

Curious. George is naked! Alrighty - I can see a guy in the next apartment building sitting on his bed all nekkid and eating Doritos. Thing is, this is only because it's dark, and his window is swung outward and so a perfect mirror into his bedroom. So buddy isn't an exhibitionist, unlike most of my neighbours, and myself - mostly I am just too lazy to find pants before I sprint through my living room - so he might not like this arrangement.

Would you want to know? Would you tell him? Do you even care if the neighbours see your junk? BTW, there are no kids in either building, just your usual assortment of single service industry slaves, ESL students and batty old ladies.

posted by moneyjane 20 years ago
  • Jane, you really live your life *close* to people, don't you? *snickers*
  • Never been one to flaunt my stuff, even at the beach; of course, if I were built like a greek god, I'd behave differently, I think. An whenever I engage in any intimate activity, I'm the kind that triple-checks windows and such. Not that the neighbours are nosy, but you can't be too cautious nowadays. And what's with eating doritos naked? I mean, during specially hot days, I've been known to work at home naked, but eating? All those crumbles, stains, the possibility of hot liquids scalding sensible areas, etc...
  • I started wearing clothes around the house when I got a roommate, only because I'm so courteous. The only reason I cover myself in front of window is to be courteous, I really couldn't care otherwise.
  • I wouldn't tell him unless I thought someone else could see. I wouldn't bother looking again and I don't go out of my way to make people self-conscious about not wearing clothes inside - people are already overly worried about that kind of thing.
  • *snickers* But not unpleasantly, I hope! Enjoying your contributions.
  • i live on a busy street, have for a year--busy all times and for all people. haven't bought curtains, haven't had any real problems with the nakedness. nudist at heart, i guess.
  • I tell you what, a heat wave will get you knowing your neighbours a whole lot better. BTW, what is the correct manner to strike up an aquaintance from one building to another? Is hollering allowed?
  • Would I tell him? Mmh... but how? 1) Shout from my window: "Hey, you, at the third floor! I can see your Doritos from here! Close the window!" 2) Get his number? What if after I call, he gets to do this every afternoon, and puts a sign on his window with 'Hi, neighbour' on it? 3) Go all the way to his apartment door? 'Erm, hi, couldn't fail to notice your window is open and you're visible to the entire building across the street...'? What if he answers the door in the nude? What if he's all dusted in Doritos? 4) What if he's a Mofiter?
  • I woud ignore it.
  • Hold on a minute! He's writing something...wait...it says...what? oh! I AM Flagpole
  • What's he writing it with? His flagpole? I don't like to wear clothes unless I have to. If you want to let him know he's on display, you could try shining a flashlight out your window to his. When he notices that, if he doesn't take some steps then you can either A)call the cops or B)buy some shades or C) let it go. The naked ape. Is he hairy?
  • Only on the crucial bits. The rest is covered with a uniformly fine layer of Dorito particulate matter.
  • I'd take a polaroid, then send it to him in an anonymous envelope somehow, with a note saying something witty, like, "you have a very small penis"
  • I wish _I_ was covered with a uniformly fine layer of Dorito particulate matter. It's my thing. oh and moneyjane, the acronyms on your site cracked me up. I thought I was a man of the world and all but I required the urban dictionary for ALL those. I got the greek bit, tho...
  • Anonymous friendly note is ideal...but a picture *could* be traced back to you (reverse-engineer angles, position, etc).
  • Send him a multipack of Doritos.
  • Wave at him from your window, naked and covered in salsa. For just one second, when his eyes meet yours - he, the human dorito; you, the human salsa dip - for one, beautiful, fleeting instant, the entire universe will make some kind of bizarre sense.
  • Sometimes, I think the quid is a dick. Other times, I think he has a beautiful inevitability about him. My questions to you ... 1) dick? 2) inevitable? 3) beautiful? 4) none of the above? 5) dick, but neither beautiful nor inevitable? 6) we need pics from London meatup! 7) ???? 8) Profit? But how, exactly?
  • I'd say he's an (1) entirely forgettable; (2) ugly; (3) moron. But that's a whole new "Curious George".
  • Or you could sell tickets...
  • I'm naked right now. (sucks Dorito crumbs off fingers)
  • On a more serious note, he either doesn't know or doesn't care, but what difference does it make? Just ignore him.
  • In the grand schema of social affronts, moneyjane my dear, this one is eminently ignorable. And while there is some chance that he is unaware of his display, keep in mind that whatever else, he is perfectly aware that he is naked, has windows, and those windows are open, darkness or no. If it is bothersome, an anonymous holler along the lines of "Hey Doritoman! Grab a towel, this is a family city!" would, I think, suffice.
  • Flagpole how are you generating scalding hot liquids from doritos?
  • quid: that was beautiful. /writes metaphor down as lyric for emo-boy guitar song And, moneyjane.. aren't you, erm, nakey all over your website? Hee. I find nakedness rather amusing. I'd call dorito-man a party trick now that you and friends can point at and laugh. Are you sure that your question wasn't really a lead in to a joke about a guy with an orange wang? (:
  • If you want to let him know he's visible, I'd go with fork's idea...except instead of a flashlight I'd shine a laser pointer at him.
  • So buddy isn't an exhibitionist, unlike most of my neighbours, and myself - mostly I am just too lazy to find pants before I sprint through my living room - so he might not like this arrangement man. i live in the wrong neighborhood.
  • That's indecent! He should at get himself one of these .

    Oh, wait, so it's all about the nudity? Never mind. Sorry, I'm new here.
  • I guess it comes down to the idea of known nudity; I myself could care less if my entire neighbourhood paraded through the streets in the buff. However, my assumption would be that said neighbours signed up for said parade, and that everyone is gallivanting nudely with confidence. As city dwellers in close quarters, you kind of have to make decisions about how real your neighbours are. Are they real like TV? In which case pretty much anything goes? Or are they real like individuals you already know? If so, you would perhaps see their actions (and your own) as subject to the same basic social rules you apply to people around you. Then Dorito Man would seem to be worthy of the same kind of contemplation as, say, a roommate about to leave the house with her fly undone. I myself am of the TV School of Neighbour Relations; but I find the idea of public/private identity in a crowded space damn fascinating.
  • I say enjoy the show. He's probably been living in apartments for so long that he doesn't give a damn. I remember being cautious of open blinds when I was showering and changing for about the first month after I moved out on my own. After that, I stopped caring. Now I'd mow my yard naked, if I could get away with it. So put a cast on your leg and make like you're Jimmy Stewart.
  • the quidnunc kid is beautiful. Each post he makes brightens my day like a ray of golden sunshine. As for this naked guy, keep an eye on him. Perhaps he'll get a thighmaster or gravity boots or play the cello, etc. providing fodder for obvious one-liners for you and your friends.
  • deja vu
  • If I lived in any apartment in a city, I would never sleep. I would buy myself a really good telescope and I would play peeping-indica every day, every night. I would never get any sleep. It would be an addiction that I can't imagine being able to give up. I suppose it's a good thing I live in a small town, in my own house, off the beaten path.
  • Well, I tell you - in this neck of the highrises, you are a positive freak if you don't have binoculars prominantly displayed on your windowsill. The real players have giant telescopes on their balconies. And, according to a cop, our neighbourhood has about 200 known peeping-toms/flashers - in an area that is eleven blocks by eleven blocks. I think it's time we put a naked dude on our neighbourhood flag.
  • *pulls out notebook, licks ink pen tip, waits for moneyjane's address*
  • Another day, deep in the stacks, Where no one had come for years.... I stood, reading. All at once, I realized that for some time I had been smelling a sweet, light Perfume, very faint, and very chic; And then I heard the shiver Of thin bracelets, and a murmur That went on and paused and went on again; And I discovered that beyond me In the next aisle a boy and girl Made love in the most remote Corner of knowledge. --Kenneth Rexroth, from The Collected Shorter Poems of Kenneth Rexroth
  • Wow. Score one more for bees.
  • I spend a lot of time naked. I draw the blind sometimes when I think of it but I am sure my neighbors can and have seen me in many states of undress. I have also attended numerous clothing optional events, to the point where I have seen all bodies and body types in the buff. I can appreciate a nice body, but it is no longer something I notice much, except perhaps momentarily when in an unexpected place. "Formal dress or formal skin," to take anote from Lazarus Long, is kind of the Burner Way.
  • If I wasn't married, I'd have proposed to quid by now. Rarely on topic, always funny. And sorry, but all this makes me think of is the Ugly Naked Guy in "Friends".
  • Retract the device! Retract the device!
  • Thank you, tracicle and Onanist, for your kind words. However, after much thought, I have come to the conclusion that my good name has been stained by Wolof's commentary, and hence I demand satisfaction in the traditional gentlepersonly manner, i.e. A DUEL. One comment each, one sentence only. One nasty, rage-fueled, lowdown or high falutin', ball bustin' bullet o' bile aimed from each set of fingers through the eletronic mechanisms at out disposal to the very black heart of each enemy. Two comments, within one minute of an impartial referee's say-so (tracicle, we may need you for this). The referee has final judgment on the winner - who shall be bedecked with garlands, and have songs of praise composed on his victory (beeswacky: your department I believe). The loser shall be forever considered a silly person, and shall be declared malodourous and unkempt. What say YOU, sirrah Wolof? Are you ready for the first ever FURIOUS GEORGE? Just name the date and time, sir.
  • I think we need some pre-game smack-talk, with both quid and Wolof forced to wear wrestling tights. Paging Mean Gene Okerlund to the thread, Mean Gene Okerlund, you are needed at the thread, please...
  • malodourous Ha! I smell superfluous "u"!
  • Gentleperson duellists do not engage in such barbarities, midders. We wear top hats and have moustaches that we wax and twirl up at the ends. In any case, I'm going to bed, but when I awake I expect a certain monkey to give me satisfaction in the proposed manner, or I shall mock his cowarditityness (or whatever you call it).
  • ps - Fuck youu.
  • at 10:44PM UTC Best possible result.
  • at 10:46 PM UTC No, you're wrong!
  • The two-man luge of thread comments. Please don't argue about who's on top.
  • The duel should be with both gentlemonkeys naked; you could keep your top hats and moustaches, if any. And Dorito Guy as referee. Perhaps at Moneyjane's street, as to have an appreciative audience? And...all this naked monkey business got me to wonder. How many here have a more relaxed attitude regards clothing-optional places? I've been in a few beaches were I could have engaged in such activity, but, sad to say, chickened out. Only three times I've skinny dipped, well, more like skinny snorkeled, and it's a liberating experience. But I'm afraid certain appendage wouldn't know how to behave in a civil manner around more than a few people than usual, out in the open. *shrug*
  • Couldn't agree more. This is where the women have the upper hand, because you can't act cool and cosmopolitan when you're sporting a towel rack. Conversation goes right down the shitter.
  • "you could keep your top hats and moustaches" I would cast my eyes askance* at any attempt to duel without these attributes! *almost as astonishing a physical feat as 'throwing up one's hands in disgust'
  • A suave monkey would simply state, "Madam? A towel rack?" Being at a beach, it would prove rather useful for lady monkeys staggering under loads of wet towels. I would, however, draw the line at anyone approaching you with a steaming teacup.
  • I was told a bit ago that certain Baltic resorts have banned nudity on otherwise clothing optional beaches by people whose bodies are less traditionally pleasing to the eye (particularly the elderly). Whose eye I can only suspect especially since I can't find any linky evidence. [also, hey boys, need a second? Very handy, seconds, as they clean up the blood before the authorities arrive; also, I can use words like logomachy and habromania correctly]
  • A lday would, of course, either politely ignore said member as an unavoidable feature for which a gentleman may not be held responsible; or treat it as a compliment, smile, and move on.
  • moneyjane: Your neighbourhood sounds like The Watcher and the Watched writ large.
  • Flagpole: I have been to such events and places and also participated in them myself in regards to nudity. I have been naked in public at various clothing optional events I listed in my earlier reply. I rarely go completely naked for long during the day for fear of sunburn on my most sensitive bits. Most of my public nudity has been what I would term 'convenience' nudity -- naked while changing so I don't have to change in my cramped tent, naked while walking back from a shower so I can dry off before putting clothes back on, etc. It's nice not to worry about clothes, but when it comes time to actually show off I'll throw something colorful and garish on. The first time I did this was extremely liberating, though. If you are at an event with public nudity, having an erection is not a big deal either. I am sure it has happened to me. Then again, some of the events I attend have public sex too so it seems unlikely to get hung up over a stiffy. I guess it comes down to your hang ups over the behavior of your penis, or maybe the hangups of your lover if they want to pretend you aren't physically attracted to other people.
  • My theory is that manly parts are like cats; they're gonna do what they want to do, when they want do do it; and that's all what they're gonna do. A lady merely admires them, and chides them not.
  • Moneyjane: And for that, we're all so grateful, oh yeah. Todfox: Yes, it's our heavy baggage, playing tricks on us, I suppose. As mjane says, the little buddy is alerted of suitable stimuli, and maight try to 'be ready'. And yes, the partner's reaction would be another big issue... 'DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU AREN'T WATCHING THOSE TWO SWEDES, YOU BASTARD!'
  • A lday would, of course, either politely ignore said member as an unavoidable feature for which a gentleman may not be held responsible; or treat it as a compliment, smile, and move on. Pointing and laughing, however, would not be considered appropriate behaviour. It might help moneyjane, though, whose name I also want to type as 'monkeyjane'.
  • A lady wouldn't point and laugh, trac. That would be impolite. (She might make a suitably arch comment about recieving such a small compliment, though...)
  • No, but as a lady (and, I'm certainly one, having been born before WWII and raised properly, by the most conservative of parents) who grew up in the repressed 1950s, and who saw the 1960s as a blip in the politeness of our common society, I say, yes, we need pictures!
  • two naked freaks getting sunburned More naked freaks and some other freaks fighting about it. NSFW.
  • Uuhhhhhhhhhh...............?????????
  • I wouldn't mind seeing that duel, personally. But then we started talking about towel racks and I got confused.
  • Actually on reflection a duel is a silly idea. Plus, it seems to have already happened and I lost :(
  • *pats kid, offers small chocolate bar*
  • *eats chocolate, accidentally bites own tongue, cries*
  • *Opens bag, reveals 6-pack of beery goodness*
  • *Jumps into bag, happy at last*
  • My theory is that manly parts are like cats; they're gonna do what they want to do, when they want do do it; and that's all what they're gonna do. A lady merely admires them, and chides them not. And thinking like that will always make you welcome here, in my book. Chide them not, for you are truly a lady to the manner born. And I still want some smack-talk.
  • What?! You called off the duel? Now what do I do with this tux, rented specially for the event? Meh. You two, pair of... monkey-hugging monkeys, you...
  • My theory is that manly parts are like cats *gets an image of someone attempting to herd cats, appropriately modified* *falls out of chair, laughing* It may have been the cartoon caption of the herder (a woman) hollering, "Down, boy! DOWN!"
  • If only somebody had come up with a feline-related nickname for genitalia, hmm...
  • A lady would wait until he starts masturbating, take a picture, and then start a thread entitled "Girl gets revenge on ex-boyfriend w/ photo (NSFW)"
  • dng wins
  • He should meet up with this guy.