August 03, 2004

• *takes off clothes, runs around thread yelling "Wiener puddin'! Wiener puddin'!"* You don't know me.
• This is an interesting topic. I've never really felt comfortable being 'disinhibited' on the web because though few of you know me in real life, I feel strongly that my online persona (as much as it may be said to exist at all) is not removed from my real one. I've wondered sometimes if people on sites like this divide themselves into multiple persona as a way of protecting themselves. As in Shotsy is the nice me and Ystohs (kinda sounds like a Lovecraft name, no?) is reserved for obnoxious trolling and being cruel to double posters. I don't know if anybody would publicly admit to dividing themselves, but if you have a 'friend' I think it would be interesting to hear about it. Finally, it seems that here on MonkeyFilter people are generally honest. I mean, I don't sense people puting up facades, etc. How closely do you think your real life self matches your MoFi self/ General online self? For me, I've never had more than one Online ego and I think my online self is my real life self's less articulate, quieter self (cuz I can't spend all day writing responses).
• shotsy - since I "met" you, I always felt that your online self was real, and that most of the regulars here give out the same vibes. As for me, what you see is what you get - I'm soooo bad at role playing.
• Yes, it's nice being able to put aside any physical, moral, social barriers or constraints (which might exist only in our own minds, btw) and freely express ideas and try to communicate with others. Specially regarding certain topics, which might elicit a startled response on people you see daily, or family, or even close friends. However, it's easy to get carried away with our own idealizations, the mind-picture one creates of those responding. The lack of actual contact, of the 'third-dimensionality' can be deceiving. This came up on another board lately, about posters with 'multiple personalities'. Which I would find just way too taxing to be worth my time. I have enough problems being me in the boards I frequent...
• I never thought about disinhibition being part of my online personality. I think I present myself online the same as offline, more reserved (cautious) perhaps than in r/t. Interesting subject, though.
• I don't really have an offline persona. I mean I work, go to school, etc. but I do all of this almost robotically and I rarely carry on conversations other than the obligatory family stuff. When I get online, however, it's as if someone turned the light on in my head. I'm still pretty quiet in cyberspace but I express myself a bit more.
• I think I'm a bit braver and more open, but I'm also more apologetic and polite. Go figure. *joins middleclasstool's streaking session*
• hikikomori: Your case I find much more interesting than the more extreme example. While some (*ahem Craigslist*) view the internet as an outlet for anger and frustration, I am interested in the view that it is really a parallel to other communications. But importantly, one that is more valued than the others. Certainly there was a time when a lot of people would have levied a value judgement about that, but that is certainly not the case anymore. I am sure this topic was worn to the bone back in '92 on The Well, but I think that a lot has changed since then (obviously, perhaps) in the way we interact, in the way my 13 year old brother communicates w/ his friends more frequently on AIM than the phone. All of this is why I am really excited about the upcoming Meetup. The opportunity to compare and contrast my projections upon people with the reality of those same people. Also of interest will be the way online dynamincs will change (if they do) post IRL meeting.
• Just to give us some context. I think I probably do things like *masturbate* less offline than on, but otherwise I think I'm pretty much me. (Except I'm stunningly goodlooking offline, and positively dripping with pheromones, and plus half a foot taller and and inch thicker and shudderingly charming.)
• All of this is why I am really excited about the upcoming Meetup. hm?
• Shotsy, I admire your enthusiasm for meeting up with people from MonkeyFilter. I'd be too mortified to attend such an event. :)
• I think I'm more affectionate online than in person. I find it much easier to tell people what I'm feeling when typing/texting than in person. Must be my repressive Far Eastern upbringing :P I would love to see my fellow Mefites! I think as a community, we're more 'ourselves' here than communities in other sites. And it would be cool to get to see some of you in the flesh (uh... but not too much flesh! (Yes, I mean you, MCT and Mfpb!))
• Pending Meetups That I am aware of: California (There are two disucssed here) London Chicago New York
• I divide myself. But, the thing is, I do it in "real life" too. I'm constantly surprised when I discover that other people don't do this to the degree I do. So, more than anything, an 'on line persona' is a chance to re-associate (e.g you would be less surprised to find out about my mutually coexisting affections for Fellini films and on-lines games like KOL than some of my friends. That's a relatively bad example, but I'm tired. sorry) As for PF's context - I think that's the difference between genuine anonymity and no-face-to-the-name communication. When you post, I assume it's the same PF, and if you did something unspeakably rude or offensive, you'd get called on it (with admittedly little tangible consequence). However, with upwards of 15 or more people posting as the same name, there are no personal reprecussions. Yes, you might not care about getting called out, but it would still be associated with a (somewhat) cohate on-line identity (sorry for using you as my example. I'm sure you'd never post goatse in-line).
• cohate ? I bought a copy of Otto e mezzo the other day. Just felt I needed to own one.
• via incohate. I have a habit of un-prefix-ing words that I just like the sound of for no particular reason. Use them enough, I forget that technically, I make them up. Sort of. and everyone needs a little 8½ in their life. I envy those who can watch it in Italian.
• Ah, I see. Were you aware that the chap you linked to is a prominent advocate (as in "lawyer") for refugees' rights here in Oz? Right on! *attempts to smile like Claudia Cardinale, fails spectacularly*
• "advocate" works - sounds more noble & less money grubbing than "lawyer". I recognised the name (used to do refugee law) but it was a happy coincidence that it was on google's front page when I attempted to bolster my position with precedent (typical lawyer). He's got tons of interesting articles (on language and ref law) on his home page but total crap design (frames? that I have to scroll to see? crap.)
• I'm getting all disinhibited about bothering ilyadeux.
• I think she's goovy. *swoons*
• you'd never post goatse Heh. Leetle doo yoo noh, there-are-two-san.
• But really the reason I posted that is that it never could have happened offline, really, really, never, it was a total online thing, where people weren't just crowdly anonymous, but computery faceless to boot, so.
• "bartender, i'll have a cock punch and a toxic disinhibition." heh. i'm the exact same online as off. years ago my mom met a guy online, which turned into an offline relationship. turns out he had concocted this entire set of lies: he wasn't divorced (still very married), didn't have an adult daughter in australia (had two infant daughters, he posed HIMSELF as the adult daughter in emails), was not an american airlines international pilot (he was unemployed). it was a mess. she ended up in a motel room with him, calling me freaked out because he had a gun. caveat emptor and all that good stuff. but in general i get the feeling that most monkeys are themselves. except for diz. now i'm wondering if he wasn't who he said he was at all.
• ...a habit of un-prefisx-ing words... "pre-" "re-" I went too near the edge and tumbled into the cipice. I yelled loudly and waited for scue.
• except for diz No, Dish, he was completely who he said he was. If you want to email me, I can prove it.
• I'm less inhibited here than in real life -- let me put that another way. Here I am who I am if I know you well and am completely comfortable around you. Never understood why, but I really have to get to know a person before I unleash humor and weirdness of the random and occasionally bizarre variety. My wife sees it every day, and so do my dearest friends in RL. None of my coworkers or fellow students have, and they probably never will. Yet I feel totally comfortable doing it here. Go figure. Maybe it's anonymity, but I think for me it also has something to do with the combination of conversation and writing -- like spending time with you all here (and I love you all dearly, btw) is not just interaction, it's a creative exercise. The humor, the discussion, the linky goodness is a part of it, but for me the core is simply reading your posts crafting a reply, which has an added dimension to it that RL conversation doesn't always have for me. I'd love to meet you all (I have a short list of members I'm dying to meet), but it'd probably take me a bit to relax and be natural if I did.
• Masks Off!
• I'd think of my "online persona" as simply a facet of me. I adjust my behaviour to suit my environment anyway - i.e., I would behave one way to my mother and another way with someone I was dating - but that doesn't mean any of it is false or not really "me".
• ilyadeux said: ...you would be less surprised to find out about my mutually coexisting affections for Fellini films and on-lines games like KOL than some of my friends. In my case, my friends and acquaintances online are more in-line with my interests than most of my offline friends and all of my family. I show them things like KoL and the like and they take a quick look, say, "Oh, cool..." then forget about them forever. As it is, only two people I know in real life have MoFi accounts: one is Mike (user no. 2) and one is my brother-in-law, who created one and never used it again. So in a way it's a relief to go online and have someone back up my taste in websites. I'm more inhibited offline only in that I keep what I've found here and elsewhere online to myself, knowing that no one else will be interested.
• reading back over the thread, it seems like most people are saying a variation of "on-line=less inhibited"; which sounds to me very similar to "different people know about different parts of you" (what tracicle & I were essentially saying). Perhaps just different ways of interpreting the same actions - shyness, or inhibition, or I'm not going to bore you with my obsession with pre-Victorian commercial posters with mascots on them because I know you frankly think its weird and don't care. and, boys, shucks, you made me blush. I think you're groovy too quid. Actually, I love the word groovy: say it aloud, it's fun! Groovy.
• Aw! Groovy!