July 29, 2004

Well, whaddya know, it's the July Surprise. (More inside)
posted by SideDish 20 years ago
  • From the July 19th New Republic (HVT=high value targets): A third source, an official who works under ISI's director, Lieutenant General Ehsan ul-Haq, informed tnr that the Pakistanis "have been told at every level that apprehension or killing of HVTs before [the] election is [an] absolute must." What's more, this source claims that Bush administration officials have told their Pakistani counterparts they have a date in mind for announcing this achievement: "The last ten days of July deadline has been given repeatedly by visitors to Islamabad and during [ul-Haq's] meetings in Washington." Says McCormack: "I'm aware of no such comment." But according to this ISI official, a White House aide told ul-Haq last spring that "it would be best if the arrest or killing of [any] HVT were announced on twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-eight July"--the first three days of the Democratic National Convention in Boston.
  • ah-HA!! found the NR article online without registration
  • Oh, and they captured the guy on Sunday. I guess they had to spend a few days verifying his identity. I'm sure it's just a total coincidence that they verified it on the same day as Kerry's acceptance speech.
  • Wow, that *is* a coincidence...
  • Ooh, guys, there's this bridge for sale on ebay...think I should buy it?
  • I don't feel threatened by any terrorist that uses the aliases "Foopie, Fupi and Ahmed the Tanzanian."
  • This "surprise" sucks. Couldn't they have gotten us someone good, like al Zawahiri?
  • Or al-Homunculus?
  • Or al-Bundhi? Or al-Ghoor? Or al-Anon? OK, I'll stop now...
  • A terrorist named Foopie? I don't think so. We'll have to settle for al-Nedra.
  • So, when Republicans [possibly inevitably] make "Obama bin Laden" jokes, Democrats will throw out "Rudy Ghailani." And the discourse will slip yet another notch. goetter wins.
  • That's funny, the_bone, I asked my wife the night he spoke how long it will be before Limbaugh or Coulter starts calling him that. Most unfortunate last name ever, except maybe Shitler.
  • Feh, I could catch al-Nedra in no time.
  • Her hundred ton hammer will destroy us all
  • TNR has put the article back up subscription-free. They're going to milk this.
  • Her hundred ton hammer will destroy us all Definitely a weapon of mass destruction... =)
  • Most unfortunate last name ever, except maybe Shitler. Wittler comes close.
  • Wendell, you just violated Bodwin's law.
  • *peers at smudged invoice* Somebody ordered a the deluxe 100 Ton Hammer treatment?
  • Is that a confirmation that al-Nedra possess weapons of mass destruction?
  • Whoever came up with the weapon of ass destruction joke just gave me another mental picture. At least it's not a 100-ton weed whacker.
  • Is that a confirmation that al-Nedra possess weapons of mass destruction? We've got a powerpoint presentation with satellite pictures of trucks transporting a large, hammer-shaped object. I believe that's sufficient evidence for a preemptive strike.
  • See that truck there? We've confirmed that it's a Mobile Snark Lab (MSL). Evidently al-Nedra has set up its own roving snark manufacturing outfit by designing and building these MSLs, driving them across the countryside and spreading Discordia wherever they go.
  • Lies! Gross lies! I've never had any MSL in my life! What that truck is, is a... first-aid device filled with potatoes. Yeah. You bunch just a big load of meanies. *pout*
  • Ok, time to come clean, the evidence was "sexed up". The MSL is actually in my parking lot. al-Nedra has no actual capabilities for making weapons of mass distraction. It was me all along, I was looking for an excuse to invade.
  • It was me all along, I was looking for an excuse to invade. *tries to stifle ecstatic laughter* ... *fails miserably* Have we derailed this thread sufficiently yet? Or maybe we should drag shawnj in here with the heavy ammo? Actually I just want to see surlyboi use the word "sex" and "invade" in the same comment again. ;)
  • um, gee. guess nobody here is as FUCKING OUTRAGED AS I AM AT THIS BLATANT POLITICAL PLOY THAT IN MY MIND IS FAR WORSE THAN, OH, SAY A LITTLE SCANDAL CALLED WATERGATE BECAUSE THIS INVOLVES MANIPULATING A FUCKING FOREIGN GOVERNMENT IN AN ATTEMPT TO OVERSHADOW THE OPPOSING PARTY'S PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION.
  • I'm just as outraged side, but the last time I expressed anything vaguely resembling outrage, I was accused of comporting myself like an ass, so... But to be honest, are you really surprised by this at all? We know these people will do anything in their power to hold on to their death grip on the reigns of this country. It's only going to get more manipulative from here.
  • no, i'm not surprised. i'm pissed they're getting away with it, and i'm pissed it's not getting more coverage. it was inside the A section today in the washpost. christ.
  • Also, all this back-room dealing could backfire, or worse, (and this is the most worrying prospect of the whole deal) unite the anti-Musharraf elements in Pakistan and potentially fracture the country. A destabilized Pakistan is the last thing we need right now.
  • Yeah, not trying to be flip, honestly, SideDish. For me it's more of a laugh-to-keep-from-cryin' response. As I posted elsewhere, my outrage started leaking about a year ago, mostly because the release valve was inadequate to handle the building pressure. I'm pissed too, but, apologetics aside, everybody knows precisely what's going on here, what the impetus was for Pakistan and holding this info for three fucking days until *coincidentally* Kerry accepted the nomination (and gave a friggin' fantastic speech, btw). Gotta say I'm surprised that I'm surprised about this. I'm still waiting for the "revelation" that Kerry was secretly communicating (in French) with Foopie while fathering an illegitimate black child with an intern. And surly, didn't you know that you're not allowed to respond in kind to other people?
  • No, MCT. I thought this was a free country. My tin foil hat must be on the fritz again. =)
  • Since I think I'm done monkeying around for a little while, I leave this for you, Alnedra... We had to invade one of the al-Nedra camps because we got intelligence from reliable sources that there was a whole lotta sex taking place.
  • *sends SideDish a green salad and a green tea*
  • Al-Nedra announced its plans to crush civilization by "tearing the roof off the sucker" and "freaking it 'til it walks sideways." Said the unidentified voice in the recently linked tape, "All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom in your boom-boom."
  • thanks, wolof, that's very green of you!