July 28, 2004

Hey, kids! It's the I, Terrorist Contest! "In no more than 300 words, respond to the following: You have just been appointed the commander of a terrorist cell in the United States of America. You have five subordinates, all of whom are more than willing to give up their lives for your cause. Your orders are simple; instill as much fear and create as much destruction as you can using either an entirely new method of attack or a modification on a past attack." Put on those terror thinking caps, win $500!
posted by SideDish 20 years ago
  • (About one of the owners of this company: "Toby Scammell has been studying terrorism as a hobby since 1997." huh???)
  • mmmm .. . no.
  • Contest is only open to those in the US. I guess I'll have to pass my idea on to someone else.
  • (yeah, i like how the contest is open to anyone in the u.s. "with the ability to cash a check." ha!)
  • EMP.
  • hey, roly, you did it with 299 words to spare
  • I know a good answer to this. Have all five subordinates marry someone of the same sex. That ought to send terror down the spine of America. In all seriousness, though, this is a horrible idea. Horrible in the horrific sense, not the lacking common sense way.
  • Can this terrorist cell be, like, the executive branch of government, plus cronies? The rest of the world is already pretty darn scared.
  • 500 bucks? Kiss my ass.
  • Yes, sir!
  • "After the winners have been declared, all the information gathered will be summarized and passed on to appropriate contacts in the Department of Homeland Security." AKA a quick way to place yourself under the watchfull eye of Big Brother.
  • I can only imagine Chief Wiggum: "Any ideas? Because we've got nothing here... "
  • 500 bucks? Kiss my ass. Yeah, Al Qaeda pays much more. And they don't discriminate for age and country of origin. And they don't sent a traceable check but pay cash.
  • I'd prefer to be paid in nubile virgins.
  • Your orders are simple; instill as much fear and create as much destruction as you can using either an entirely new method of attack or a modification on a past attack. How about, legally buy lots of guns and ammo, then shoot lots of people? Do you reckon that'll work? And I bet no one has ever thought of it before, either...
  • Even better dng, no need for actual weapons. Just create a Department of Homeland Security and issue warnings every so often that no one is safe and Bubba knows best. At least that would solve the mass fear part.
  • s/Bubba/Dubba
  • Hmm. Let me think. A whole bunch of people take the time to write up their scenario, perhaps as many as three different scenarios, and (as encouraged in the contest) lots of them contain details that are specific to the author's personal circumstances/surroundings. Some of these people do so on computers on a college campus. Or shared with family members. Or at work. Of those people, many of them have their emails scanned by their bosses, or loved ones, or fellow students, or what have you -- and when these people see the material (having no idea it's a contest), they call the authorities. What a great idea this contest is. Not. At all.
  • I'll give anyone a nickel if they can come up with a way to keep us all safer in 500 words or less...
  • oops, 300 words.
  • Fire George Bush. *ducks*
  • Get on a plane and have me and my allies go to the bathroom a lot.
  • Hmm ... just been appointed commander ... have five subordinates ... instill as much fear and destruction as you can ... Boy Band, surely?
  • quidnunc is scarying me.
  • jccalhoun, I was about the say the same thing. Don't forget your prayer mat!