December 17, 2003

My theory explains everything , and I have not had to revise anything in the past fifty years. Got it figured out kid? Think you know Bush from a hole in the ground? Listen to someone who's got it all sorted. And groove on some tasty web design while you're at it.
posted by anonymous 20 years ago
  • yet another nominee for our "Special Simian: MoFite Invite" award...
  • Rest assured, SideDish - MoFi is totally explained by this theory. You, me, the 300th Monkey - everything. Except quonsar.
  • This year (2003) astronomy proved another of my predictions. I lost track of what this was. I hope to read about it again. This guy TOTALLY has to join MoFi.
  • The goggles, they go nothing!
  • Maybe it was the asteroid? He could probably just check the website. Oh wait. Nope. Well, at least I am confident that the theory explains it all. Yup.
  • He talks about the ether. My favorite concept. Yet, all the monkeys I send above the atmosphere keep dying. Why do the poor monkeys die? They have plenty of food and water and the ships I send them up in are open topped so they'll get plenty of sun. Hmm. Maybe they need high explosives.
  • Bonus points "for The" random capitalization "and" quoting "of" words.
  • >>For a short time I thought I had found a stumbling block for my theory: "(GRO j1655-40)" GOOD GOD, NOT "(GRO j1655-40)" !
  • I think we need to start using more horizontal rules here at MoFi. They are so attractive. Also, lets start underlining words that aren't hyperlinks and including lines wihtin posts like "near the end of this web-page" that aren't linked to anything, nor give a specific place to look for "How the sun creates a push of gravity explained in detail." We could all learn a lot from this man. MonkeyFilter: MY THEORY SAYS THAT IN THE BASIC WORLD TRUE SUCTION DOES EXIST.
  • MoFi: True Suction
  • Secret Of The Universe+Furry Bunny Suit= Jim Loy
  • But why does my cat pee on the freakin' wall???
  • Guys, I just realized... There are weirdos on the internet!
  • SSshhhhhhhh!!! . . riiiiiiiiiiight.
  • Seriously, this was an interesting read. Maybe this was one of the things he forgot about that helped "prove" his theory. It came to my mind at least. Speaking as a web designer, I physically itch when I see pages like this. I want to stop what I'm doing immediately and redesign it. And speaking as a writer, I want to drop what I'm doing and immediately edit and re-write it. *takes valium* Which is not to say I didn't find this very interesting. Great link. Thanks.
  • Bah! this is no Time Cube! Don't let it happen. Indeed.
  • Re: Time Cube Wow. Just ... wow.
  • "The New Tom Green Show" equates to evil . . . well, duh. Although I will give points for effort. He's got more exclamation points than Jesse, whose theory explains everything. So that's something.
  • My favorite crackpot-website is better than yours!
  • My mother is a teacher, and she said it was "nutty" and "stupid." But guess what- I cornered her, literally, in the living room one evening, and forced her to admit it. Um,er, okay. Scary.
  • Maybe this guy can help. You will never find a super massive black hole in a galaxy with no bulge, unless it is a mighty thick galaxy. That's what my gf used to say about my...galaxy...
  • The fun part of being a graduate student in astronomy is that these people start emailing you. OK, it's not really the fun part. Actually, it's kind of irritating.
  • The universe is not expanding. He's right about this. Its just the speed of light slowing down...
  • Word is a Trojan Horse. That's actually pretty deep there, Time Cube man.
  • These people are continuing a great tradition.
  • But sometimes people everyone thinks are nuts turn out to be geniuses.
  • Ramanujan was both a little bit wacko and a mathematical genius. But his discoveries didn't justify his fantasies. As enygmatic as his discoveries might appeared. f8xmulder - I think that "innocent until proven guilty" should apply for that guy. Maybe after all he will proven right. His testimony, as out there as it sounds, it's quite logical and sane. Even if it's quite clearly fake. In which case, he'll fare worse for lying to federal agents.
  • Gene Ray is Jim Loy's older sister. Short for Eugenia. Married Eccles "X" Ray, an itinerant Por-Shun-Pak creamer salesman in a small ceremony behind the Old Mill back in '73. Mr. Ray's whereabouts are presently unknown.
  • Ah, Timecube. That site provides some potential MoFi slogans: MonkeyFilter: A Chair of Wisdom to empower Wise Men over the stupid intelligentsia. MonkeyFilter: You are educated stupid.
  • Consider: If Timecube is correct and there are "four simultaneous 24-hour days within a single rotation of Earth," then I can post four FPPs per day to MoFi, rather than one!
  • I fear that the Time Cube, with its Secret Transference Array, may make Jim Loy and his dreaded Robot GMC SonomaForce almost as powerful as the Wal-Mart Doorgreeters Holiday Pipers... Quick! Meet me out back of the Old Mill!
  • Jesse Babcock is betting $3000 that his theory is correct (according to the FPP link). Yet Timecube Guy is betting $10,000 on his theory. Go Timecube Guy! Shine on, you crazy diamond!
  • If they're so damn certain why are they hedging their bets. Once they start laying body parts on the table then I'll consider the debunking worth my while.
  • I think he's right.
  • My eyes, my freakin' eyes! This is just like the theory I had in a dream last night, in between rescuing Julia Stiles from a giant mousetrap full of blue vein cheese and falling from a space shuttle into a floating donut. I forget what it was, but I know I'm right.
  • wait! was it a 4 sided floating donut?
  • If I tell you, I'll have to...well, yeah.
  • Further slogan wars- MonkeyFilter: Is it possible for anyone to write this much material and not be wrong about something? (Babcock) vs. MonkeyFilter: is bastardly queer and dooms future youth and nature to a hell. (Cube dude) Although coming up fast on their shoulders - surprisingly quickly, given he's dead - is Charles K. Johnson, President of the International Flat Earth Research Society... MonkeyFilter: the same old gang of witch doctors, sorcerers, tellers of tales, the 'Priest-Entertainers' for the common people.
  • I know it's a parody, but this seemed worthwhile. Or not worthwhile. Actually, definitely not.
  • I experienced True Suction once, in the early 1980s, on a beach in Spain. At the time it seemed like it did indeed explain pretty much everything there is to explain.
  • Yes, but several other people on the beach are still waiting for an explanation.
  • Perhaps this is the explanation you are looking for.
  • *takes some of Kimberly's valium*