July 04, 2004

Dog toy or marital aid? Do you use it with your dog or elsewhere? Is this SFW or NSFW? If they're so difficult to distinguish, would it be wrong to use one in place of the other? Would your dog know? Would your lover? Would it be wrong to sell both from the same shops? If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and is owned by Carmen Miranda like a duck, is it a duck, o< quack?

This is my second monkeyfilter post. My first was stricken because my searching didn't turn up the link's first and best posting. I'm really sorry. Hope this link doesn't come to the same end. 0< quack I'm a duck look at me swim around.

posted by ActuallySettle 20 years ago
  • Double post...
  • I would like to say that I only clicked the button once oh god I'm not making a good second first impression am I.
  • Thanks for playing!
  • I have actually gone into a pet store to purchase items used for sexual play. Any item that is similar as a pet or marital aid will be substantially cheaper if purchased from the pet store. Collars, leashes, and rubber phallic/bone shaped objects will be much cheaper at a pet store. "Honey, I'm horny. Let's go to PetSmart!"
  • This is funny, whether intended or not. And anyway, we've had way worse posts lately.
  • NEW POEM: I need help installing aol, who has a free afternoon? Look: I made lemon squares. I need help installing aol, does anyone have a free afternoon? Look: I have whiskey and loose women.
  • The real Settle would never double post.
  • Oh no you di'int.
  • The phrase "marital aid" is so ugly sounding that it's making me not want to have sex using dog toys.
  • /me snickers.
  • I have saved a fortune on plumbing in my new house by forgoing those expensive toilets and just getting a couple of litter boxes.
  • A sandbox would double for the children.
  • Especially if your kids are made of cat shit.
  • That was hard core.
  • Settle! Is it really you? I can't believe it! Partly because you told me you were black, @$$#01&. Okay, only partly kidding. The RISD info checks out, as does the inability to remember your own damn mefi password. Tell you what - send me another copy of the email you sent me after Matt banned you the first time (it was a .jpg, but I have since deleted it myself) and I will be happy to vouch for the Settle-ness of the one now know as ActuallySettle.
  • Funny you should mention Pet Smart, bernockle. I've been helping a friend with creating a leather guide for NYC, and we have included several pet stores for all the reasons you mention.
  • Will someone please acknowledge the pun in "Pet Smart"? The tension is hurting my package. Note: I got 10/14 based on how comfortable I thought the things would fit in a dog's mouth. Forget the harder version; it's just way too hard.
  • Pun? As in "pet?"
  • Could a rubber dog bone be a fetish? Ye told me once when I felt pettish But now, my dear, I've forgotten whether Ye told me ye were fond of leather.
  • sit up roll over lay down fetch Talk dirty to me, Fido-lover.
  • I got 8/14 on the hard one. I can apparently play with the dog with supervision.
  • i don't know what it means, or if i should be admitting it, but i got 13 out of 14 on the hard test, and i own a cat.
  • BlueHorse you ignorant silt. Clay. Mire. Topsoil. Loam. Slumgullion. Heh.
  • i still can't figure out the pun. is it a colloquialism i don't know, associated with the word? *sigh*
  • bluehorse and beeswacky, please stop playing in the mud. when i see you again i expect that you shall have both cleaned yourselves properly.
  • Then we'll be post-mud-ern, dxlifer.
  • *groan-ups. sheesh.*
  • i still can't figure out the pun. The pun is not light, but heavy Even more so when ye are petting.
  • "Oh, no, Ms. Dx, we weren't up to anything." *hides dog collar behind back, looks away, whistling innocently Enter beeswacky, tongue lolling. *blushes
  • now, it's one thing to keep monkeys out of the mud, but all those leather toys need to be looked after properly. bluehorse, of all monkeys! i'd better hear the old saddle soap squishing around and i want reassurance that all your leaher toys are carefully cared for. and beeswacky, posting in the mud is not a good plan unless you clean your keyboard. compressed air for you. freethought, your lyrical enlightenment delights me. please stay out of that wet mud. it might petrify your style.
  • "Oh yes, Dx, that WAS the saddle soap. Er, just the saddle soap." *said in tones of earnest reasurance
  • bluehorse, now just exactly, what are you up to with that soap? /these monkeys...sometimes i really have to wonder when i'm not watching them!