June 12, 2004
Click here to see the story and photo. Guy cheats on girl. They break up. Guy spreads rumors about girl. Girl obtains highly embarrassing picture of guy and posts it on the web. (Not safe for work)
ha ha ha.
Reminded me of this one. I don't know which photo is most embarassing.
See, THIS is what can happen when computer love goes bad.
PF!! Are you paying attention??
Christ, who masturbates like that?
Where's the knee-high waders? Or the cream cakes? Or the frogs?
Not safe for work, or for my virgin eyes! I'm going to have to tell my priest about this, come next confession.
BBF: Have you ever tried wanking in a bathtub full of Jello? Not that I ever have. I mean, I'm just saying it could be interesting. I'll email that guy and offer the suggestion.
ha ha ha!
is that mary tyler moore on the banner ad?
Damn it, I hate when I see these links at work. Stupid Saturday shift.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
Nice schlong, though! (but mine's prettier)
Or the frogs?
(O_O)`
Expect a PETA commando stomping down your door anytime, Blaise...
I don't know how I feel about this. It's nice to see assholes get a little comeuppance... but the girl's sneakiness and "he tried to sue but couldn't prove it was me" attitude were extremely offputting. Plus, the potential permanency of this revenge scheme is mindboggling. This guy could conceivably be paying for stupid (and, in the grand scheme of life, inconsequential) mistakes he made as a youngster a decade from now, or longer. The girl in question comes off as a hateful person, so perhaps they should consider getting back together, since they probably deserve each other.
Oh, and a tale:
New year's eve, kicking off 1993. I was drinking with one of my best friends and his girlfriend, among other people. At around 3 AM, after imbibing enough booze to get alcohol poisoning (I was sick for a couple of days), I randomly started making out with my friend's girl, only to have him walk in.
For the record, I was 19 then and am 31 now. Now, let's say that my friend did exactly what the girl in this FPP did, and posted pictures of me yanking the crank over the Internet.
I'd be professionally screwed. I'm a teacher, and once word got out (and it would; I get a bunch of blog hits from people searching for my name) that there were pictures of Mr. R getting jiggy with his bad self* on teh intrawebby, I would never work again. Not to mention the impact that it would have on relationships, friendships, and so forth.
In short, I think the girl's reaction was way, way extreme. Fortunately, the universe doesn't fuck around, and that karma shit is a bitch.
* N.B.- the origin of my handle** has nothing to do woth penises or masturbation.
** In this context, the word "handle" is unfortunate.
Okay, so she said he sued her, but had no evidence connecting her to the picture. What about her web page? What about the text in the photo? Is she brazenly open about it now because you can't be sued twice for the same thing? I don't get it.
I presume that she'd obfuscate her ass off to the unfortunate man's lawyer. Really, there is little other than circumstantial evidence that would connect her, because the photo is through the web-cam via a back door, and she could say that she was just taking advantage of her good fortune having come across the photo from some anonymous means - it doesn't matter what the web site says, because she would just say she lied about it.
Also, proof of damages would be *extremely* hard, and very expensive.
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that the girl who did this is totally wretched.
(the website, not the post; the post, at least, has been entertaining)
Ach, there's no girl involved. This is an exhibitionist with a cover story. I mean, who has a webcam set up to give a perfect panoramic view of them when reclining, unless...
Maybe I'm too cynical.
Actually, that pic is cropped. The full pic shows his entire room. He used the camera to watch for people who were stealing from his room. It detects motion and records or something. No, I'm not his ex, but I'm a good friend of hers and that is what she said when I asked about the strange angle of the cam. :)
So this post is basically spam?
No, spam is edible.
daisy_may has posted 1 links and 2 comments on MonkeyFilter since June 11, 2004.
So you got an account here for the sole purpose of further spreading this demeaning little grudge?
No, I will be submitting other interesting links I happen to find. I like this site.
*blink* hmmm...
So you got an account here for the sole purpose of further spreading this demeaning little grudge?
I really hope not.
Oh, tracicle, you don't have to click on any of my links. Didn't you realize that?
Oh, tracicle, you don't have to click on any of my links. Didn't you realize that?
?
What if I did get this account for sole purpose of further spreading this demeaning little grudge? Will you cry?
Er, yeah. Of course. I think this post might be nuked though. But I doubt you care about that now.
Been up for over 13 hours. I think they would have nuked it already. But, yes you are right. I don't care now.
What if I did get this account for sole purpose of further spreading this demeaning little grudge? Will you cry?
I won't, but Baby Jesus might.
Wow, I didn't think I'd get to do this so soon...
Don't go there.
Daisy: Tracicle is the admin, you frigging twit. If there's anyone here that "has to click on the links," it's her. She's the sole person who has the authority and ability to delete posts. And I am really hoping that she does so with this one.
Rhetorical question: If the guy in question sues the vindictive wench again, could someone please track daisy_may down and make sure she gets subpoenaed as a witness, since she obviously has knowledge of the case's facts and has stated so in public?
Well Baby Jesus' eyes will be dry, because I've been meaning to get an account here anyway. I run across some interesting sites that I would happily share.
No, I will be submitting other interesting links I happen to find.
What, like goatse?
There's this girl in a bathtub...
dng wins.
The_bone, don't you ever disrespect me again. You don't know me and calling someone names on the internet is a sign of immaturity. In fact, never speak to me again.
That comment I made was because I overlooked the italic quote. I read it as this:
ME: No, I will be submitting other interesting links I happen to find. I like this site.
Tracicle: I really hope not.
So, my bad. I didn't see the quote above her reply, where she was referring to me making the account for the sole purpose of blah blah blah.
My mistake and I appologize.
But again, the_bone, feck off and die.
You know, if I were "Webcam Boy," I would get the tubgirl pic, put my ex's vital stats on it, and do a little quid pro quo action.
Actually, I wouldn't. Because shit like that is fucked up and illegal. But it would sure cross my mind...
What the site also doesn't tell you is that the alleged offense took place six fucking years ago. Somebody needs to grow up and get on with their life.
Daisy, you dimwitted cow, what're you going to when the bone disses you again? Cry?
...calling someone names on the internet is a sign of immaturity.
Too funny. So posting an illicitly-obtained photo of someone's wank session is a sign of what, exactly?
Heh... I'm speaking to you now. Nyah, nyah, nyaaah. Now, that's immaturity.
And speaking of disrespect (and immaturity, incidentally), posting this to the site for the sole purpose of publicity (which you implied was the case in a couple of comments) shows a complete lack of respect for this community.
Time to "feck off." Have a great life.
On second thought, I don't want this thread deleted. I want it bronzed.
goetter, you too can never speak to me again. Any future posts by you will be ignored. Little boys can just keep their comments to themselves.
All you guys are doing are inflating your own overblown egos and getting that precious +1.
Monkeybashi, I most heartily second dng's suggestion about nuking this post.
The increasingly antagonistic comments of the author and her personal attacks onother monkeys are objectionable in the extreme, and I suggest removing her, too.
JoeChip, you too shall be ignored. You arn't worth my time.
Well, this has certainly taken a nasty turn. Quite a conundrum. I’m predicting that feelings are going to be hurt here, boys and girls.
You see, this is why we can’t have nice things.
OK, now I'm going to cry.
beeswacky; I have not attacked one person. Can you show me where I was attacking someone? I have been attacked, yes. I haven't attacked anyone.
Second of all, you swear making another account here would be hard. Who knows, maybe this isn't my only one right now.
Well, this has been fun.
Goodnight, daisy_may.
Dude, at this rate daisy won't be talking to anyone! Mission accomplished!
Oh, silly girl. Saying things like "you don't know me and calling some one names is immature and blah blah blah," and then turning around and calling someone with goetter's academic and intellectual cred "little boy" outs you as being even more clueless than I had previously imagined, which I had not believed was possible.
OK, I'm off to South Beach. Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
People here sure are full of themselves. You people reek of ignorance and stupidity.
Now THAT was an attack. Hell, if I'm going to be accused, might as well get the satisfaction of doing it.
Now THAT was an attack
Well, it wasn't much of one. Try harder! Reach for the stars!
Well, in the festering lump of rat mucus's defense, I did call her a terribly ugly name.
Hey, maybe she'll photoshop a picture of us and post it on one of her many porn sites. Daisy, honey, would you be a doll and let us know if/when you do so?
/me takes webcam offline
Did someone hear something? Cause I didn't.
Monkeyfilter Hall of Fame:
#1. Cock
#2. daisy_may
*hands over ears* I can't hear you!
dng is 2 for 2.
dng : Well, this has been fun.
Goodnight, daisy_may.
That was a quick nights sleep.
Monkeyfilter: Metafilter
And she keeps posting! Nnnnnnneat!
Seriously, oh glorious Monkeybashi, bronze this mother! I want a commemorative plate of this thread for my curio cabinet. So sorry I missed out on this earlier. It's got penis and namecalling.
Damn, now she's not going to talk to me, either.
Monkeyfilter: It's got penis and namecalling
This thread is getting dumped. And publicly I'm saying once again that I hate to delete accounts, but daisy_may is behaving in a pretty trollish manner for someone whose account is barely 24 hours old. And if this behaviour continues I will delete her account.
It's a dirty picture, but somebody's got to do it.
Two possibilities:
1) daisy_may really IS his ex.
2) daisy_may is victim of his viral marketing efforts to get women by showing off the size of his equipment. (always a good chance a guy would have the mindset to think it'd be good PR for his penis)
I never talk to people named after Beverly Hillbillies anyway.
well, I just wasted three minutes online...
2) daisy_may is victim of his viral marketing efforts to get women by showing off the size of his equipment.
Now that you mention it, that table is rather big.
hmmm... deleted from the page, but still living on the sidebar... the opportunities........
I suggest we ask her to post something else - that doesn't include penises, revenge or just general nastiness. If she can come up with a righteous, intellectually stimulating,or just fun, well considered series of links, maybe we should keep her?
Though, her reaction to criticism leads me to believe that the above is not in her skill-set, why don't we see what she has to offer?
A kinder, gentler metafilter.
Boys and girls, we must learn NOT TO FEED the trolls.
Today tis a black, black day for the Monkeyfilter ....
tsk tsk
Metafilter has had its share of people like this: I was reading an old thread there recently where a group from a camwhore community all joined up to support each other and take sides against the older members. None of them returned once that thread was over.
If daisy_may settles down and gets over her fit of pique, she's more than welcome to stick around. But yes, a little proof that she's willing to do so would be nice.
But, BlueHorse, maybe she really is the ultimate "best of the web" poster, who just needs a little challenge to show her worth. My guess, based on her short history here, is that she'll load us up with really awful stuff, which can be easily deleted by MonkeyBashi, and to which none of us has to respond, since she isn't talking to us anyway.
And, if (?) she is a troll, she's one of the most painful ones I've experienced. "Cry for help" comes to mind, which is the only reason I'd consider not just tossing her into the dumpster on first transgression.
No thanks.
Nobody here but egotisitcal nitwits trying to get that +1 post.
Admin, please remove my account. I will not "troll" here any longer.
My first impressions of the site were obviously incorrect. It's rubbish, just like the majority of the internet.
Not that anyone here is any different then all other forums on the internet; everyone trying to make a name for themselves.. everything thinking they are better then everyone else.
Then you have those who suck all the other regular posters dicks so much you never see them without balls on their chin.
I will not waste another minute of my time on this worthless excuse for a community. If this is how you welcome all new members I would be shocked to find out you keep anyone.
The first person to call someone a name on this post was the_bone. Not asking why or attempting to comprehend what he was reading he just started hurling insults like some third grader.
Obviously he is a regular here, so each of you in turn sucked his dick, in which later on in the posts, he returned the favor.
I will never return here, so all the replies that are surely to follow (since egotists MUST have the last word) will fall on deaf ears.
It's a shame, I'm usually a pleasant person, but some people don't want to take the time to actually know someone before condemning them.
Being called a troll when defending yourself in your own post is one of the more idiotic statements made. That coming from the admin speaks really highly of this site.
I have posted in one post only, and it was mine. Yes, I must be a troll then.
Sorry, I don't BS around.
Enjoy your community, you all truely deserve one another.
::sigh::
Na-na-na-na, hey-hey, goodbye...
I never got to do that when I was an immature adolescent... it's kinda fun!
i love me some waffles.
with whipped cream and banana slices. anyone else like having breakfast for dinner...? mmm, mmm, good...!
I just want to say thanks to the_bone for returning the favor.
I'd cheat on daisy_may, too.
Seriously, though, I will say I'm a bit confused by people cheating on their girl/boy or getting with somebody who is already taken, and blaming it on being too drunk. Let me tell you, I have been to the brink of drunkenness and back, (like many people, I'd imagine I'm not particularly special) and I've never been in the state where I'd fuck up and cheat on somebody or be the cause of some cheating.
Is this just a skill I have, or is there a secret level of superdrunk that I have yet to attain?
... Or shit, this thread died. Oh well, at least history will remember me.
And, yes, we do deserve each other - in a good way.
Wow. What was that?
Well, that was fun!
Has anyone else seen a "+1" around here?
Sweet, if she's gone I won't have to delete the account, and we won't have a post from "Anonymous" sitting around. Thanks for saving me the trouble, daisy_may.
Wow. Everbody here, especially the_bone: keep a handkerchief over your webcams while wanking, at least for a while.
Ok, I'll admit she was a bit of a twit.
But this was NOT one of our finer Monkey moments.
what's a +1 anyways...? i've been around a good long time on this here intarweb and i've never heard that expression.
I _THINK_ it's a reference to the point scoring system over at linkfilter.
But this was NOT one of our finer Monkey moments.
Au contraire. She joins the group to flog her own bloody six-year-old vendetta, and got properly flogged down in return. Good fucking riddance. Hey, Daisy, you dim ruminant, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
But this was NOT one of our finer Monkey moments.
I would say the provocation was sufficient to the reaction it gained. No loss.
Damn, missed another good fight. She certainly had alot of venom to spew around. Sorta reminds me of that Emogame boss in the last level.
It's a shame, I'm usually a pleasant person, but some people don't want to take the time to actually know someone before condemning them.
*snigger* Every single person I ever came across who called themselves a "pleasant person", weren't. Not after the first fifteen minutes.
I thought the link was funny.
I'm a pleasant person, so shut the hell up.
Couldn't resist.
I don't know, I'm with GrandMo here. Mebbe she woulda been a nice monkey. And we fed her trollop side, as well.
Really, I wish people would go for something more oblique as insults. Ideally the insultee doesn't realize they've been insulted, while everyone else in the room is laughing/gasping at your audacity. Cocksucker is so pedestrian.
The problem I have with her is that she imperiously decreed that she would ignore people after one insult. You don't make - or keep - many friends that way.
And acting like people around here don't know crap from the top of their heads.
And being sarcastic when answering perfectly reasonable questions.
And calling us "little boys".
And being incredibly five-year-old.
So while I have to say goetter went overboard a little in calling her a twit, I will have to second his opinion after finishing this thread.
*Stomps off muttering, "Little boys...."
For my part, I'd like to apologize to Monkeyfilter for pooping in this thread.
the_bone, goetter and JoeChip, I would be glad to propose you as candidates to 'MoFi's official bouncer' rank. So that you, and nobody esle, feel free to taunt and annoy disruptive members out of any thread as to prevent tracicle being forced to tyranically delete accounts.
I'm not being serious, of course...
*slaps forehead* Oh my god, why did it just occur to me now that all I need to do is change the password on an account to render it useless?!?
*face-to-desk action*
That's evil, tracicle.
Nice!
Wow. Great idea, tracy.
"DAISY MAE"
1)--transitive verb--
to behave churlishly, to agitate; "Boy, ol' Darth sure daisy mae{d} Tatooine last week; dead Jawas everywhere!"
2)--adjectival--
a foolish, petty annoyance, a gnat; "So I'm trying to code, but the baby next door is mad daisy mae bawlin'!"
3)--noun--
imbalanced troll; "For the hundreth time, I do NOT want to buy life insurance! Don't be such a daisy mae!"
If at least she had gonne to the trouble of wrapping her vendetta with links to other similar events. I mean, everyone has heard about Libby Hoeller and others, it could be an interesting subject. I wonder the repercusions of all those 'amateur' photos and videos floting on the net, a few years down the road. 'Hey, look Bobby, here's mom and she's... whoa!!'
all I need to do is change the password on an account
Good. If that doesn't prompt good behaviour from present simians, nothing else will. Something like those exploding collars on Vance's 'The Anome'... sweeet.
Monkeybashi, daisy_may reminded me of the recent MeFi hoaxer: ChristFollower.
I think we did better at 'troll detection' than the MetaMob did.
Well, we noticed because she pointed out she knew him. It wasn't exactly rocket science on my part, at least.
Sweet Baal-sucking Jesus full of fruit juice: I can't believe I missed this :(
Okay, kids, I'll admit ignorance here. I didn't get the "tubgirl" references earlier. So I googled her. And if you will permit me, I'd like to offer the following (perhaps overly nuanced) question.
What the FUCK???
That is some sick shit, enough to make me fear for my own sanity. Bad Monkeys, bad. Go to your rooms.
And I understand Blue's chiding -- we weren't exactly nice. But though I'm not generally a fan of the "I reckon he needed killin'" defense, I gotta say she had it coming. That was trollish, AND self-linking on your first FPP without disclosing the fact in any way, right after you get your membership? Off with her head. Sorry, but rules is rules.
Tomorrow I'm gonna put up a post about this guy who's selling a wedding dress on ebay...
I have a busy weekend, and look what I miss!
in the festering lump of rat mucus's defense
Hey! Leave me out of this.
In other news: Did we really need to be told to mind the friggin cameras when taking time for a swat? Moron meets harridan, film at 11 on Monkeyfilter.
Fes, I think you might be amazed at the quantity of men that send naked pictures of themselves around that-there interweb.
so this daisy_may, shes single now, yes?
blogRot, as tracicle would say:
Don't go there.
Oh, snap!
Who wanks iiin front of theiiiir computer anyway? Iiii mean, you could end up wiith stiiiiiiiiiicky keys or somethiiiing. Fuck.
Looks like someone needs a moisture guard.
*snigger* Every single person I ever came across who called themselves a "pleasant person", weren't. Not after the first fifteen minutes.
Would this be a corollary of the rule that when someone announces, "Women say they want nice guys, but they don't want me, and I'm a nice guy", you're about to start hearing sweeping references to "bitches" from the same source?
Fes: Lots of people have, um, underclad pictures of themselves whizzing around teh intarweb. Apparently it's one of the hazards of signing up for online dating services - meeting people for whom a picture of their cock is a snappy chat up line.
Actually, now that I mention it, it puts me in mind of a friend's story about her time working in a (pro level) photo lab. A customer had a crush on her, and felt that pictures of his Mighty Schlong showing up in her pile of photos to develop would cause her to be overcome with a hunger for his irresistable man-meat.
Oddly enough, it didn't.
Middleclasstool:
Lessee, I have bleach, Brillo pads, and scouring powder under the sink. Would that help your eyes?
Fes: I agree. There's a lot of stupidity floating around out there. I'm sure some of this will come back and bite some of these people when/where they least expect it.
It burns, but I can sleep now. Forever sleep...
I think you might be amazed at the quantity of men that send naked pictures of themselves around that-there interweb... Lots of people have, um, underclad pictures of themselves whizzing around teh intarweb. Apparently it's one of the hazards of signing up for online dating services
*raises eyebrow in Spocklike fashion*
*starts googling*
My ex used to complain about getting pictures of random wangs from prospective suitors. I thought she was kidding 'til she actually showed me a couple.
shiver
And gladly, I missed the monkey pile-on as well.
No need to google, Fes. I'm sure these fellows can shortcut your search.
In my experience, there ain't nothing sensible about it. One tries not to sleep with anyone crazier than themselves, smiles, and hopes for the best :)
One tries not to sleep with anyone crazier than themselves,
Damn, so that's what I've been doing wrong...
I haven't checked out the later links in this thread, so beat me up if I'm wrong, but don't a lot of sexy links entice people like Daisy May (and, incidentely, that's a "Little Abner" referece, not "Beverly Hillbillies") to post the kind of thing she did?. She said she'd really mistaken what we were about, maybe because of the stuff that had been showing up prior to her post. (Look it up for yourself.)
On the other hand, I thought her "you're just like all the other internet sites" was pretty funny. She's having a hard time realizing that the larger world isn't interested in her compulsion.
Now that I have some bananas, I would like to pass one to sacred and profane. Very funny.
Dammit, I miss everything good. But the situation seems to be under control. So is Daisy's account still active or what? Did you change the password, tracicle?
*Resolves to check MoFi every fifteen minutes from here on*
Things I have learned about myself and the world from this thread:
1. I am immature, egotistical, have no reading comprehension and reek of arrogance and stupidity.
2. "Daisy May" can be used as a verb.
3. JoeChip, goetter and I should stand with arms crossed in front of every thread, checking IDs and roughing up alcoholics.
4. There is a secret level of superdrunk which I have apparently attained, but which Sacred and Profane has not.
5. I should never get a webcam.
Man, this is better (and cheaper!) than therapy!
Yes, and it's got penis. I can't stress this point enough for you guys. See, it's got penis. Therapy doesn't. Advantage: MoFi.
I am immature, egotistical, have no reading comprehension and reek of arrogance and stupidity.
Hey, according to one young lady you have over 1,000 monkeys sucking your dick. You must be doing something right.
the_bone, much love.
*blows kiss from across the room*
*sucks on banana, batting eyes at the_bone*
"Daisy_may is the new goatse. Discuss."
*reads quidnunc's comment. Resists urge to wash out mouth with bleach*
Can we please just mercifully draw the curtain on this whole episode?
No. Ha!
:-)
*Still puzzling over how I missed this while it was all kicking off - I haven't seen a reaction like that since the last time someone suggested Elijah Wood was gay over at IMDb. Astonishing.*
wait, he's not gay? *world shatters
I'd like to join the Damn, I Missed It Club.
And for what it's worth, it's pretty clear to me that the pile-on occurred because she dared to malign Monkey #1 and then immediately went fifth-grade pissy all over everyone who said anything bad about her.
I'm just sad that she never got a chance to stop talking to me...
Man, how the hell I miss this thread?
I want to come clean:
I liked the link, I liked the discussion. I really enjoyed the_bone's personal angle.
I think it went wrong when daisy revealed she had a personal angle.
But think, monkeys - supposing she didn't have an angle? Still nice link, still nice monkey talk.
Instead, RULES got applied, and somebody stomped back when they got stomped on.
And we missed out on a monkey.
What do you think - have I missed something? Lay it on me.
For the record, that's me saying I don't reckon it needed killing. I wouldn't mind being convinced otherwise.
Also, I'm still drunk. For the record. But I love you monkeys, even sober, or I wouldn't ask.
Well, let's see... I think it started from here, or a couple posts before.
The RULES got applied after she became anti-social, condescending and downright rude, attempting to alienate a few fellow monkeys.
Should we have just backed off?
Ned, you are wiser, and nicer than I.
kisses,
peff
I'm not nice, PF. Well, not all the time.
I think, if she had made a halfway mature rebuttal to the_bone, chances are the rest of us would have just knuckled the_bone till he apologised or something. (Maybe?)
As it were, she chose to start lashing out at people continuously. If that's how she handles criticism, I don't think she would survive very long, even in the benign enviros of MoFi.
PS. You're nice too, PF. *MWA*
knuckled the_bone
hee hee hee
(good one, 'nedra!)
Monkeyfilter: Better behave, or we'll knuckle your_bone.
Why, thank you, GramMa :)
Boy, I hope the_bone's not mad at me...
*walks in eating a banana*
mrfgh . . sho . . whatg's goin' on guys? *chomp*
*blinks, chews*
*walks in, starts gnawing on pete_best*
Monkeyfilter: Better behave, or we'll knuckle your_bone.
Rad.
For what it's worth, I'm not proud of myself (well, not overly so). I saw daisy_may jumping on tracicle and flipped. In retrospect, I was a little extreme.
That being said, I can't say I'm too upset that daisy_may departed.
Alnedra: Of course I'm not mad. You are teh roX0r.
*blushes*
PF, stop that! You don't know where he's been!
Abruptly enters room, out of breath, with suitcase in hand
Hi Guys! I'm Back!
What'd I miss?
Knuckling the bone sounds vaguely naughty...
OK, Nick, what's in the suitcase? Did you bring souvenirs for everybody?
And no, it's not dirty, unless you're really into S&M, then you *might* get a bit aroused, Surlyboi.
I've been knuckling the bone (and, technically, knuckling "the_bone") since early adolescence. Fortunately, I don't own a webcam.
And there folks, went the discussion--right into the toilet.
Here's an, extra comma, just 'cause that last post sucked.
Good night.
And knucklebones is an ancient diversion for gamesters.
Self-link - the Buryats play games with sheep knee bones to this day.
Ha ha ha!
Wow, like others I am amazed i missed this one...
/quietly standing at back of room. timidly clears throat and raises hand
Best. Thread. Ever.
Loved it. You Monkeys are entirely too much fun. While I understand (and appreciate) GramMa's love of politeness, the fifth-grader in me had a blast.
daisy_may: You guys suck and I'm cool.
MoFi: Oh yeah? Bring It!
AHH! This thread has been deleted and is still going? Its a long one too, maybe this will unseat that ridiculous turkmenbashi one...
Flee, Infidel, Turkmenbashi will smite you with a shoe.
Has anyone else seen a "+1" around here?
Yep, I have. And I apologize... my bad. I chuckled at rodgerd's comment, but I was in a hurry because, at the time, I was late for something... so I quickly gave him a "+1 Funny" and went on my merry way. Because I had been modding over at Slashdot right before I read that thread, the "+1" was the first thing that popped into my head. Sorry I missed all the bizarro drama here, though.
*basks in monkitude*
I fail to see what this thread has to do with the recent Male Grubston movie "The Flaming Wad of Crap" starring Christ our Laird. On topic i say!
I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you.
+1 Funny, dng!
I resent that I get eaten in that equation.
This seriously is the best post ever. Speaking as an outside observer (and dammit! Too bad too!) Daisy asked for it and MoFi delivered.
Besides, she wouldn't have been dressed that way if she didn't want it.
OT by now, but my ex was a habitual jacker and that was his usual pose.
i even found a page of vagina's he had cut out of his magazines and put all over this sheet for maximum visual pleasure.
/retarded ejaculation. or just retarded.
MonkeyFilter: OT by now.
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love
-Woody Allen
Dx: ewww, ewww, ewwww! Get me a drink of hemlock, PLEASE. I don't WANT that image in my mind.
Did you point and laugh?
I'd have to point and laugh.
So i missed this thread too...?
*hmmph!!
Obviously he is a regular here, so each of you in turn sucked his dick, in which later on in the posts, he returned the favor.
I see I'm late again. Dang it, I always miss out on all the fun!
I'm much more in favor of the first part of the italicized quote above than the second.
Mnf? dn lk whn ppl sk yr dck? Nf?
*schlup*
And what's so great about being a regular?
I could tell you.
I think you are all being too hard on daisy_may. She is clearly just speaking for the great Saveen.
He is your true enemy!
I just want to tell you both good luck...
no mom, at the time i found no humour in the situation. or in his battery operated rubber vagina and the eventual parade of peelers he turned to in search of the big 'O'.
i did say this was my 'ex'!
hindsite allows a more relaxed and humourous perspective.
maybe daisey_may and him would make a great couple.
Okay, who the hell did that? 'Fess up!
DX! PLEEEZE STOP! I don't want to know.
*runs screaming from room and falls into dark corner
*sobs deeply while rubbing eyes
*takes small breath
*begins laughing till she pees herself
I join the endless parade of monkeys who show up belatedly and can't believe they missed the fun.
But this was NOT one of our finer Monkey moments
Oh yes it was! I'm just glad we have efficient bouncers to take care of these incursions. Here, guys, here's a bunch o' bananas for each of yez. Now, keep an eye on that guy over there with the crazed look in his eye...
Oh, and somebody give BlueHorse a damp cloth and a change of clothes.
/me puts hose back
i feel the need to note that the reason this thread has such longevity is 'cause we're all so goddamn pollyannaish most of the time that when a legitimate opportunity arises for us to sharpen our knives, it's like feeding time at the shark tank.
Actually, I think it's because we deal with rudeness by doing a maypole dance. I really didn't see any fish being slaughtered here, and we'll probably be notorious someday for jogging off to the right and putting our knees way up tight.
Not necessarily a bad thing.
i always prefer to watch other people make fools of themselves.
isn't that the main reason for visiting meta?
ooh, i can't believe i said that out loud. me bad.
by the way, bluehorse. that masterbating judge...i wondered why his wasn't the battery-operated and massaging model. then the jurors wouldn't have heard the 'inflation' sounds.
dxl I think in tandem with many monkeys today.
Monkeyfilter: It's like feeding time at the shark tank.
"Maypole dance".
Is that a euphemism for something?
Okay, let's all tie Daisy to the Maypole and start the Fish Slapping Dance.
i wondered why his wasn't the battery-operated and massaging model
Dx: It's my understanding that BenchPress magazine only carries the pull-start models.
now that was an exceptional pun.
at a "robing" ceremony i went to they served 'judgemints'! little chocolate patties in packages which had that written on the side.
so i picked a hell of a time to get all busy with a conference. what with the getting ready to go (furiously massaging my data to make it presentable, and all) and then being out of computer contact for a week, i missed all this fun. and i would so have liked to call daisy_mae some bad names, just for the bitchy 'tude she copped. damn.
(and for the record this may not have been the thread to say "furiously massaging my data" or "get all busy" but what the hell, the "whattaya call IT" thread is dead now anyway, right?)
Monkeyfilter: furiously massaging my data
I'll stop now with the taglines. Heh!
frogs the whatchacallIT thread is immortal.
Or untenable. Or puce. . . whatever, It's something though.
"Taking Daisy May to the Fish Slapping Dance"
ha!
Dang, you Monkeys don't just like to FEED trolls, you want to poke them with sticks, don't you?
I'm glad it's over and she's gone so we can get back to the more important things: double entendres, bad puns, and taglines.
Monkeyfilter: Is that a euphemism for something?
And keeping old threads alive. I think the reason we won't let this or Turkmenbashi die is because we had so much fun in the beginning, we can' t let it go. It's like a roller coaster: even after you vomit, you keep going back to recaputure that first rush.
tagline countdown...3...2...1...GO!
Monkeyfilter: 04:52PM UTC on June 28
I don't get it :(
well personally i think the long threads are probably somebody just overcompensating for something. eh? eh? who's put the most into the turkmenbashi thread now, buddy?
damn maybe i ought to go add some to that thread a little. just, uh, because it's like famous and all now. yeah. that's the only reason.
I don't post in long threads because my head hurts everytime I try of making up something funny.
MonkeyFilter: My head hurts everytime.
MonkeyFilter: Quintuple Entendre
MonkeyFilter: Euphemism, Me-phemism.
MonkeyFilter: Furiously massaging data.
MonkeyFilter: I don't get it.
And add to the euphemism list:
"poking trolls with sticks"
MonkeyFilter: Trolling sticks with pokes...
eh...
For you youngens too callow to remember, the maypole dance is a sort of strange thing we did in elementary school when I was, well, in elementary school. There was this big pole, with crepe paper streamers attached to the top, and we'd sort of skip around it, going in and out, so that the streamers would be woven together. I don't remember that anyone explained why we should do this, but it was a May Day tradition.
Monkeyfilter: I don't remember that anyone explained why we should do this.
Picking stoles with trokes. Poling tricks with stokes. Sticking pricks with tokes. Stoking proles with ticks.
Toking sticks with proles.
goetter wins. And I'm tired and drunk. And yet I post.
Just don't dance around a Maypole if there are any Puritans watching.
Funny, we have Puritans in our town. Crazy, evil, nazi puritans. And they pained over a giant, beautiful mural of kids dancing around the maypole in downtown when they bought the building. I was commemorating our Reannasance Fair, and was a good 30 years old. I was hearbroken.
</downer>
Huzzah?
Pagan rituals are fun:
1) Stick a very long phallus in the ground.
2) Wrap it in crepe paper until it looks like a dong pinata.
3) Dance around it.
Save the speeches for Malcolm X . . . I just wanna get laiiiid . . . *pats chest*
/Heathers
Pagan rituals ARE fun!
My favorite part is that each holiday is usally celebrated with lots and lots and lots of sex. Sounds a lot better than hunting for eggs to me!
There are more ways than one to hunt for eggs...
Weezel:
Pagan rituals involving painting bodies and group sex are fun.
Pagan rituals involving dismembered heads and zombies are NOT FUN.
(unless you are not the zombie or dismembered member)
MonkeyFilter: Not the zombie or dismembered member.
Anybody tries to dismember my member, I hit that bastard with a maypenis.
HOLY MOTHER OF GANDHI, this thread is still alive.
P.S. I'm still holding out for the secret of superdrunk. You people know who you are.
(Danny Kay, by the way, thanks for the delicious banana. Rhyme!)
To get to the secret level of superdrunk:
In world 4-2 you will come across a moving platform*. Jump past the platforms until you see a ledge with three blocks. Go just left of the first block and jump, you will reveal a secret block**. Go over under the second block and jump (rember to leave the space under the first block empty) and jump under the third block to reveal another hidden block***. Jump on top of the blocks and start destroying the blocks**** until you find a vine**** growing out one of them. Climb up the vine to reach an area with lots of coins*****. go right until you find some stairs******. jump on top of them and walk right. Now you can warp to levels 6, 7 and 8*******.
Let "moving platform" = party with alcohol readily available to underage drinkers;
"secret block" = a beer;
"another secret block" = another beer;
"destroying the blocks" = drinking four more beers and then throwing the bottles at a wooden fence in the backyard;
"vine" = a friend who shows up with rum, vodka, and other, slightly less legal substances;
"coins" = a couple of rum and cokes and a screwdriver in a 32 oz. 7-11 cup. And a couple more beers, and other stuff, but this is a FAMILY-FRIENDLY THREAD and so we can talk about booze, but not the ganja;
"stairs" = a toilet into which projectile vomiting took place;
"levels 6, 7 and 8" = a three-day hangover.
Hey, I was young.
You know, level 4-2 sounds vaugely familiar. I think I've been there, but for some reason the memories are a little hazy....
/grabs controller*, powers up console**, takes small sip of alcoholic beverage***, sits down to enjoy game****
"controller" = 40 oz. of Mickey's
"powers up console" = takes shot of 151 to get started
"takes small sip" = chugs 40 oz until gone or tears of beer appear
"enjoy game" = vomits brains out into dixie cup I had folded up in pocket
I fail to see what this has to do with the video game version of Mack Garrison's movie "Splashing the Christoppatamus" in which various beers are thrown at a hapless messiah.
Personally I felt it was unconscionably slimy and revealed deep personal problems for Mr. Garrison
Hungry hungry Christos?
Heh . . now *that's* a visual . . .
Wow. I have nothing to add, but since this post is going to be bronzed, I wanted to join the immortality.
/pile on
oof!
/pile off
I fail to see what this pile on has to do with the Merv Gibbons movie, "The Fashion of Kreskin", in which various rotten fruits & vegetables are thrown at a hapless magician.
/pete_best ;)
I fail to see. But that is nothing new.
"I think that I might never see,
My cataracts are blinding me!"
bannas to anyone who can name that quote!
Weezel.
Good Moleman to ya, Weezel!
I still want to see the live action version of Man hit by football
Hmm, maybe by the time I stumbled across level 4-2, I was already prepared for such things. I mean, by the time I was eighteen I knew everything there was to know. That's the power of being a teenager--INFINITE KNOWLEDGE.
I hope this thread never dies. It's almost a month now. What's the longest a thread has survived before people have forgotten about it?
That's gotta beeeee
Turkmenbashiiiiii
INFINITE KNOWLEDGE
is all in the mind.
*just popped in to see how things are doing.*
Just dropped in...
to see what condition my condition was in.
Bet none of you whippersnappers remembers that.
hey now, have faith -- The Gambler isn't forgotten yet.
/hums to self: Islands in the stream, that is what we are, no one in between, how can we be wrong...
Here you go, Plegmund.
And languagehat, this movie brought Kenny back to life for many of my generation.
This Kenny Rogers movie screened regularly in my house when I was little.
Do you like pina coladas?
gettin' caught in the rain?
EEEEK! Who let Mojo_Jojo in here????!
Ruuuun!!
i'm not running away, kimberly.
welcome, Mojo_Jojo.
anyone who appreciates the value of history and it's best applicable use in the present moment, should be warmly hugged and tickled immediately.
/and checked carefully for nits and things in the process.
it's been AGES since I've had a warm hug and tickle - thanks!
*waves at other monkeys*
Yes, M-J, but do you remember any of Rupert Holmes' Earlier semi-hit songs?
The canibalistic "Timothy" (top 40 for The Buoys) or the National-Anthem-desecrating "Our National Pastime" (popular in UK but not US, natch.) Me, I liked when he payed tribute to the tenth anniversary of the Beatles coming to America with a ballad titled "I Don't Want to Hold Your Hand". But that's the kind of stuff I like.
Wendall: +1, informative
gosh, I got the 45 of The Pinacolada Song when I was just a wee lass so I know nothing of his history. (the only other 45s I received were Puff the Magic Dragon and Jessie's Girl)
And why does Kimberly want to run from me?
And is it okay to talk like this in this thread?
Puff the Magic Dragon is a good thing to talk about.
...lived by the sea.
/i was so frustrated to not know any 'jessie's' to make that song more personal to me at the time.
the_bone: -1, mispelled Wendell.
And why does Kimberly want to run from me?
Kimberly works here in Hollywood as body double for one of the Powerpuff Girls.
And is it okay to talk like this in this thread?
If you don't "talk" here by typing with your fingers, nobody will ever figure out what you're trying to say (Explains some of the misunderstanding-based flamewars that have happened around here). And this is definately one of the better places to hang out and chat, unless you can do things with anagrams or find new things to rhyme with Turkmenbashi.
D'oh!
Wendell! What do you mean "unless"? It's the best place to do anagrams and Turkmenbashi silliness.
I challenge you to a duel (glove slap!) Pina coladas at 2 paces.
path, I meant that THIS THREAD was one of the better places to hang out, but the other linked threads required specialized skills. Sorry for the misunderstanding; must've been typing with my tongue again.
Now, let me dump a few dozen ball bearings into my glove before I return the challenge.
Rick Springfield was a near neighbour of mine. Before he went to General Hospital, that is.
My name is Guybrush and I'm selling these fine leather jackets. Wow, monkeyfilter is awesome. Tracy is awesome, she's like matthowie with balls. Everything is awesome. My new boyfriend who looks exactly like harry potter but with amazing tits is awesome.
You heard the new Cure album? Apparently it's awesome. By the way - peach pie is awesome.
awesome, ActuallySettle, or,
actually, awesome settle!
settle, actually awesome?
/oh, forget it.
Again, my name is guybrush threepwood and I'm these fine leather jackets selling.
Mojo - do you wonder any more if it's okay to talk like that? Welcome to the Monkey Dome!
*Elmer Fudd in Viking helmet*
"Kill the Monkey, kill the monkey, kill the monkey, kill the monkey!"
Hey path, could we please stay on topic here? Is that too much to ask? Thx.
You fight like a cow!
AlmostSettle - I'd stay on topic if I could remember what it was. I'm easliy confused.
Sorry, that sould have bee "ActuallySettle." And "easily". Time to go to sleep.
almost, awesome, actuallysettle.
soon you'll be right up there with our mpd pete_best.
∞
Σ [1⁄(pete_best)^n] = petebest2
n=0
*not wondering any more.*
I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?
(why dont these threads ever die?)
C'mon people back on topic, we should all be discussing "girl gets revenge on ex-boyfriend w/photo NSFW".
Did daisy_may wear daisy_dukes?
Why cant I inline any bitchin pictures of cute animals?
now i'm a'wondering, where i went wrong...
Do you, in fact, have any cheese here at all?
everybody sing!
This is the thread that never ends...
It's just goes on and on my friends!
Daisy Mae started posting,
we clicked not knowing what it was,
Now we'll continue talking about it
forever just because