Everyone give $1.00 USD to the Monkey Sanctuary, a non-profit trust based in Cornwall whose mission is to "Actively promote the welfare of primates in the wild".
That way we could celebrate by doing good, and could (hopefully) all agree that helping animals is politically-neutral and important.
Please advise.
1,000th monkey will have to bring his/her own barrel, for a party to be thrown inside...
(Mmhh... thousand monkey. Did the 100th teach other here to wash potatoes or something..?)
diz that's a great idea!
(p.s. here's the "celebrate" link, don't know why it didn't work...)
First we burn 'im, then we hang 'im, then we tattoo 'im, and THEN we kill 'im!
I say we let him go!
NOOOOOOO!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
Tracicle: "I say you let ME have him FIRST!"
Stare at the 1,000 member until he becomes unnerved and starts howling at us?
When we hit 1000, we should all get out our typewriters and start writing Shakespeare. (or at least Neil Simon)
As the 666th monkey, I suggest we sacrifice #1000 to our dark lord.
I like dizzy's idea. Could we donate in tracicle's name?
Hrm. I signed up on a whim the other day, and now I find that you people are considering sacrificing me to a dark lord. :\
The internet can be a brutal place...
agropyron : it's the basic bait and switch. You want metafilter, you get unending torment at the hands of the dark lord.
Have you seen the extended warranty on your user id? No? Well, let me just get one of the pamphlets!
Hey tracicle, it's here!
I was only about 5 months off.
I love Dizzy's idea. We could give donations in MonkeyFilter's name, somehow.
*wonders how to get a chequebook with MonkeyFilter on it*
Wendell, I was going to suggest Barry Manilow.
Dizzy - do you have a link or an address?
Oh, and a friend of mine has worked there in the past, I think, and it sounds like a really worthy cause. For those who might want to donate closer to home, there's also sanctuaries in LA, Texas, Florida and the Northwest (a chimp one, although I can't remember where). Here's a list of sanctuaries around the world.
Fes scalp, tattoo, hang, kill.
I wouldn't have done it, but oddly enough, that was the second misquote from PeeWee's that I've seen today.
Well, it would be nice to get the money together, but some of us are pay pal etc challenged (couldn't be bothered with the hassle, don't entirely trust them). So what would the best method be?
We could banana him--it's like stoning only you throw...)'s...But that seems like an awful waste of bananas.
Plus, what if they turn out to be like boomarangs, and all come flying back at us? Baaad situation...Definitely disregard the bananaing idea-stick with the money.
I sort of like the idea of everyone sending in a cheque inside a card that says, "From MonkeyFilter". No PayPal required, just postage.
Could we celebrate by suspending new memberships perhaps? (for a 1000 minutes?)
Or maybe by allowing individual monkeys to adjust the color scheme to suit their individual monkey vision? (like perhaps some lovely gray on some lovely blue, with a speck of lovely yellow?) (especially that banana-yellow)...
Hrm. I signed up on a whim the other day, and now I find that you people are considering sacrificing me to a dark lord. :\
If agropyron is #1000, why does it still say we only have 989 members? Allright, who's got a negative ID#??
We do only have 989 members. I think I explained this elsewhere: some members have deleted their accounts, I've deleted others - so we're actually about 20 numbers off the "real" member number.
But seriously, if we give money (which I support) my vote would be either for a monkey related cause or HIV work.
I vote HIV.
Monkeys are silly and funny, but HIV is a deadly menace. I'm more than prepared to donate a few quid towards fighting it.
Tracicle: go into a bank, tell them you've got a club called "MonkeyFilter"; they'll walk you through the paperwork. It doesn't need to be an incorporated club/society or anything.
Path-- The place I'm talking about can be accessed at:
http://www.ethicalworks.co.uk/monkeysanctuary/index2.htm
Diz; still not real down with the whole coding thang...
I'd be happy to contribute to a good cause, but if you monkeys think that's a celebration then the first of each month must be an exciting time for you.
Monkey accountants...
Ah, nostagia... I'm pretty certain that one of my first ever MoFi comments mentioned the idea of donating to the Monkey Sanctuary, for some reason - to tired and flu-y to search right now - I have such fond childhood memeories of the place. My first monkey experiences.
I do also agree with Blaise about relative HIV/monkey importance, though. (Although perhaps we could build a time machine and go back to stop the chimps giving us the AIDS in the first place?...)
I also seem to remember thst Dr Zaius was keen for us to adopt an orang-utan some time ago, and there was some enthusiasm for that idea. (Where is Dr Z, anyway?) And that's all my poor brain can think, right now.
Bed now, and the mainlining of LemSip...
Everyone give $1.00 USD to the de Carabas Sanctuary, a for-profit institution in Poughkeepsie that is dedicated to "actively promoting the welfare of pizza boxes, XBOX controllers and empty beer cans in the living room."
And, yes, it's a good and politically neutral cause (though the official policy here is very, very pro-Gondor).
Get advised...er...I mean ill-advised.
...and, yeah, I'd give money to help real monkeys. But like others, I don't have PayPal, so someone would have to come up with an alternate option.
Yes, flashboy, we did discuss something like this earlier, and I don't believe anything came of it.
Maybe this time!
Get well. Flu sucks.
Have a bowl of chicken 'nanar soup
i offer my full support to this idea.
/for the sum of $1.00 plus postage and related expenses.
monkeys and the opportunities for research sound wonderful, as long as the research is the observational type.
we're at 991! how about a mailing address for morning? or should the door prize for #1000 be lotsa responsibility?
I suggest we throw a party. With punch. Cock punch.
somebody had to say it...
I like the idea of the simian immunodeficiency studies, but just wanted to say that actually HIV does already have lots and lots of support for research, at least in North America. (I know this isn't a very PC thing to point out, but I used to work at an arthritis research unit - did you know that arthritis and related complications kills more Canadians per year than AIDs? It's also the leading cause of permanent disability.)
But if you wanted to donate to AIDS, I would say that donating to African research or treatment - or their legal battles with the patent drug companies - might do more good than donating to the already well supported North American and European research.
Give the 1000th monkey a free membership?
drivingmenuts: are you willing to sponsor such a thing?
Everyone has their pet charities, I suppose. Mine are Alzheimer's research, primate and endangered animal sanctuaries, and forensic anthropology groups in places like Guatemala and the country formerly known as Yugoslavia. And now Plunket, which is NZ's non-profit nursing/support program for children up to 5 years, and their parents.
Monkey sanctuaries seem appropriate to me given the scenario, so I think that is who I will donate to.
scalp, tattoo, hang, kill
Ah, hell. I *knew* I was bitching it up, but I couldn't find the actual quote anywhere, so I took a shot. Thanks, p4.
(I know this isn't a very PC thing to point out, but I used to work at an arthritis research unit - did you know that arthritis and related complications kills more Canadians per year than AIDs? It's also the leading cause of permanent disability.)
Screw AIDS funding. I'm sick and tired of health research dollars going to a disease that has a handful of vocal victims. If we're going to turn this into a pledge drive, let's actually focus on something that kills people: breast cancer, heart disease, autoerotic asphyxiation...
Monkeys it is then!
(991 and counting).
Maybe member 1000 gets to pick the charity from those suggested here?
and a big yellow ) to diz for coming up with the idea. Imagine the MeFi taunting!
I very much like Dizzy's suggestion -- for monkeys to help monkeys is a noble endeavour.
I'm sick and tired of health research dollars going to a disease that has a handful of vocal victims.
Your challenge
I'm afraid I have to go with the_Leviathan's idea for autoerotic asphyxiation.
In all seriousness, props to Dizzy, I will support whatever the general concensus is.
If you have trouble thinking of people very far away, Leviathan, think of people in the near future. Unlike breast cancer, heart disease or autoerotic asphyxiation, AIDS is an epidemic that could very, very quickly turn into a pandemic.
Before you describe the AIDS epidemic as "a handful of vocal victims", do a lil' research. Please.
A little bit of money could do an awful lot of people an awful lot of good.
The "actual" figure (on the front page) reads 992 today, but the latest member is 1037. Have 45 people been kicked out of here already? Man you guys run a much tighter ship than MeFi.
*starts watching what he says. realises he doesn't say much here. slips back to lurking.*
Since there's a choice of three
Before you slap me, (and with good reason!), I meant "besides your own continent". Yeah, I wrote in anger. Perhaps you could mix a little despair into that as well.
Have 45 people been kicked out of here already?
(While I'm still here, rudely)
Yes, but 39 of those were different versions of pete_best.
Wolof is correct, as usual. Yet, much like the famed Police Academy films, successive versions of pete_best continue to entertain and thrill.
My personal favourite, pete_best 26, represented a high-water mark in artistic achievement.
Hmmm, multiple pete_bests eh?
Very "Agent Smith".
tracicle: everyone has their pet charities
Nice double meaning there. I donate to sendacow*. They don't send monkeys; too difficult to milk, I think.
They will send trees, bees, goats, stoats, pigs, rabbits or a whole farmyard to african farmers to help them help themselves out of poverty.
So far, I've donated some bees and next, I'm sending trees (for the bees).
I like the cheque sending idea for the monkey sanctuary. I bet it'd wierd them out a bit though.
(*heifer.org for all you USians)
what th' . . Hey! What's going on in here!? Shoo! Dang monkeys! Get! G'wan! Shoo!
/goes back to plotting petebestfilter.com
/plans petebestfilter2 and petebestfilter3.com
It ends tonight, best /Neo
there can be only . . about 45 petebests!
Okay maybe 50.
I personally enjoyed the Runyonesque je ne sais quois of pete_best 15 - an early iteration, to be sure, but I felt he contained the best elements of experience-drive sophistication coupled with youthful exuberance and spirit... yet not without a touch of ennui. In all, a delighful melange.
*crickets*
Oh, suuuure, EVERYONE loves pete_best 26! You all probably watch King of Queens for the incisive commentary, too! Buncha neanderthals.
Well said, Fes! Of course, the pete_best genre also had a profound effect on the music of the time. I myself first warmed to the series after hearing the soundtrack to pete_best 4 at a friend's house. And who could ever forget Tina Turner's classic performance over the triumphant closing credits of pete_best 9?
"You're simply pete_best! Better than all the rest ..."
I hope I get closing credits.
What about petebest 32? Chilled to perfection, then served with a garnish of chopped almonds--delightful!
I'll go with the consensus, but the 2003 numbers for HIV was around 40 million existing cases, many of whom will have normal lifespans because of drug cocktails.
The WHO says global cancer rates are going to hit 15 million new cases every year by 2020. In 2000, 6.2 million died from the disease. In 7 years more people will have died of cancer than all global carriers of HIV. Heart disease is even worse--it kills 17 million people per year. Sorry, but AIDS get funding disproportionate to its effect on almost every country in the world and I see no reason to weigh sub-Saharan Africa's needs as greater than the rest of the world.
Not trying to derail, thought I should answer why I'm such a scrooge about AIDS funding...my vote goes to Dizzy's idea.
Leviathan - the point is that most of those people, especially outside North America and Europe, do not have access to drug coctails. And the situation in South Africa is so bad right now that I heard a doctor telling her own son he should be a botanist rather than a doctor for his own safety.
My original point was just that I wish there was more attention on raising money to send those drug coctails to Africans for free/low charge rather than just paying more money to Western universities and drug companies.
Actually, I just found this quiz on the world epidemic of AIDS (and here are the answers, since otherwise it just says "Wrong!" and doesn't let you try again - apparently 800,000 people out of 42 milion have access to drug coctails).
But sorry also to continue the derail - back to monkeyness.
(Sorry - that should be "heard of" - I wasn't present, but met the now post-graduate botanist later)
AIDS get funding disproportionate to its effect on almost every country in the world
Your own link notes, with remarkable understatement, that "Additional money is needed to combat the epidemic in Africa" and "It is also likely to be many years until ARVs are widely available in Africa." Your link also states that there are 25-28 million people with AIDS in sub-sarahan Africa - far outstripping other parts of the world. I find it staggeringly difficult to believe that these people "will have normal lifespans because of drug cocktails" as you suggest.
If you think cancer and heart disease are bigger killers in your neck of the woods - fair enough, perhaps. But I put it to you, the_leviathan, that your comment, in the context of Africa, is far, far funnier than any lame-arsed joke I will ever make about pete_best.
your comment, in the context of Africa...
Oh, I thought the litmus test was what was globally best and focusing on individual regions was a moral failing?
I'd hate to see this good idea die because of fighting over whose disease presents a greater danger.
How do we make this work?
so! all in favor of castration for member 1,000?
Monkeybashi has spoken on this subject, and I'll follow her lead:
Monkey sanctuaries seem appropriate to me given the scenario, so I think that is who I will donate to.
works for me. Just tell me who/where/when.
so! all in favor of castration for member 1,000?
And what makes you so sure #1000 will be a man SideDish?? This is just the kind of sexist comment that's ruining the Internet! You men are all alike!
heh heh heh
I'm a man, and I object to being castrated.
(Everyone but Koko ignored my earlier post? MoFi might not have 1000 members, but I am the 1000th person to join.)
You're volunteering for castration, agropyron? :)
I think it's more that there's a lot of emphasis on that member counter in the top corner -- which is admittedly an accurate count of existing members. But congratulations on being the 1,000 signup -- you're right and your place is as valid. Would you like a thousand bananas or would you prefer cockpunch?
If the site was coded differently, your user number would be more in line with the actual number of users. That should be fixed when I stop people being able to delete their accounts. *looks pointedly at pete_best425*
Agropyron is indeed the one called "Member #1000"...the one that was prophecised by the SideDish.
But everyone seems to be mesmerized by the prospect of the official odometer rolling over to 1000.
The real Millenial Monkey will deny his or her Millenitude. Surely you have misinterpreted the Dish's Delphic prophesy.
Agropyron is The One.
The Neo-Monkey.
Ur-Simian.
If we please you, bring us Pop-Tarts, protect us from Jim Loy.
O Father Poo-Flinger--
Show Us The Way.
The "Our Monkey".
The Millenial Monkey has arrived.
*throws confetti and blows horn*
Apparently, this is the monkey that turned the counter over: Sundown (Gordon Lightfoot), who is also known as "UberMatt". How ironic (Alanis Morrisette).
Oh, I thought the litmus test was what was globally best and focusing on individual regions was a moral failing?
And when was the last time you caught heart disease?
If the site was coded differently, your user number would be more in line with the actual number of users. That should be fixed when I stop people being able to delete their accounts. *looks pointedly at pete_best425*
Well - sure! Now!
/signs up another hundred or so pete_bests
[voice crying in the wilderness]
We must stop the pete_bests before it is too late!
[/voice crying in the wilderness]
For the last two days now, every time I look at the sidebar and see "1,000 Mofites!", I hear a chorus of voices in my head going:
"1,000 Mofites sitting in a tree;
K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Will whoever is doing that please QUIT IT? Thank ye kindly.
Yeah, sorry 'bout that...I was just in a sing-songy mood.
stoats, pigs, rabbits or a whole farmyard to african farmers to help them help themselves out of poverty. So far, I've donated some bees and next, I'm sending trees (for the bees). I like the cheque sending idea for the monkey sanctuary. I bet it'd wierd them out a bit though. (*heifer.org for all you USians)