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January 02, 2009

The Secrets of Walrus Nookie Exactly how walruses reproduce is a big unknown to scientists, but at Six Flags they're eagerly trying to understand. They've even created an artificial vagina in an effort to arouse the mysterious 2,100 pound Jocko.

"Took the first semen sample out of a walrus in the wild or captivity" is going to enhance any CV, though perhaps slightly less helpful if you're a police clerical support officer or something.

Perhaps it's time to ask the most important question: What DO they do with that bucket, anyway?


...they are gregarious, surprisingly agile and prone to blowing snot on whatever or whomever is nearby.

ewwwwwww!
*wipes shirt*

the mysterious 2,100 pound Jocko

Excuse me, Jocko's 2,200 pounds. Don't go shortening his tonne, there.

Seems apropos

Seems apropos

Seems.. goddammit.

Behold!
The Tasmanian Mock Walrus!!



OK, OK. Let's get serious.

*ahem*
Do you folks know the difference between your citrus fruits and a walrus?

Q: How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?
A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.

what if you get lemon juice?

oh, you got sneaky on me and went from general citrus fruits right to teh orange, my bad.

If you don't like my joke, just lime me alone already!

I am grapefruit for your efforts.

Q: What quantity of semen was taken?
A: Kumquart.

*grabs ears, staggers in circle, falls over*

Beware!

My, homunculus, there are at least six pages of google that reference teh gay walrus. This was a current meme of which I was unaware. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I think.

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