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February 21, 2008

Pee+Vegetable Oil = Self-healing rubber, that maintains chemical attraction after being cut, it reconnects and re-adheres. Cool! What would you use it for? via der boingo von boingsingvich

Dog toys and bicyle tires.

Very slow velcro.

Denture liner

Perpetual pencil erasers.

the "ooo, got yer nose" game maybe?

Childhood-trauma-proof balloons.

Magician's aid.

Condom advertizing gimmick.

Trampoline advertizing gimmick.

Very expensive Ziploc bags.

Toilet gaskets for earthquake zones.

Thermos seals.

World's largest ball of indestructible Silly Putty.

Rubber Post-It notes.

Unmagnetic magnets.

Slapping a guppy.

Unsinkable ocean liners.

Pool liners.

Explodeable Stretch Armstrong.

Cartilage replacement.

Ultra-stick non-slip rug mats.

Shark-proof lifevests.

Cosmetic lip surgery for Piranhas.

Blood-pressure taker-thingers.

Capt. FT (brute force) W

Emergency tourniquets.

Bandaids for the San Andreas Fault.

Interminable S&M parties.

Replaceable Hymens.

I'm still experimenting with whole-life applications of piss and vinegar.

Prison for Magneto.

Goat Ejection Seats.

Self-repairing bungee cords.

Hair extensions.

Schemes to foil your track and field opponents.

Condoms for Cacti.

SuperLego.

Endless thread.

SuperToupees.

Mormon Underwear.

Wonka gum.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

Customizable rubber bands.

Customizable condoms, dental dams.

SuperSaranWrap.

Bouncy Castle for a very sharp land.

Cheaper versions of those suitcase wrapper-things.

Crash test smarties.

Super-cowl for Batman.

Artificial cocoons.

Unladderable stockings.

Fixing a tear in the space-time continuum.

Resealing pill-trays.

Gigantic Sea Monkeys.

Hogshead for real fire.

Spiderman's nets for every cop.

Cat Diaphragms.

Self-repairing umbrellas.

Expandible umbrellas.

Non-conducting umbrellas.

Permanent Wellys.

Bags of Holding.

Alternative to Velcro.

Sails.

Self-repairing inner tubes.

(Second one in, Hank.)

(The velcro.)

Virginal Fleshlight.

Trapper Keepers.

bah!

(OK, I really should get back to work...)

(OK, I really should go back to bed...)

Trampolines for ladies in high heels.

/me applauds

Bedsheets for porcupine infirmaries.

Sheaths for hunting knives.

Pincushions

Breakaway trousers for the incontinent.

Jackets for Dick Cheney's hunting partners.

Emergency roof repair.

Concert wristbands.

Non-scratch windshields.

Self-lacing ball-gags.

Road striping.

Self-sealing cans.

Ultra-grip brakes.

Alternative to pitch, pine-tar.

Inter-office courier envelopes.

Most menacing Ikea ballroom ever.

Those severe-tire-damage things, only without severe-tire-damage.

Police roadblocks.

Shorter runaway truck lanes, airstrips.

Self-adhering cargo containers.

Glass-installers' suction cups.

Self-repairing Astroturf.

Super-tuff shopping bags.

Reuseable gun targets.

Self-repairing dome stadiums.

Self-repairing levees.

More durable sheeting for fluorescent light boxes.

Super-stick coasters.

Better pen caps.

Night deposit bags.

OK -- someone else's turn now...

more humane ball-gags.

Non-disintegrating breast implants.

Self-adhering hammocks.

Slowing down...

More compact tarps.

Indestructible carbolic smoke balls, bongs.

Double dildos.

Super skipping-rope.

Customizable rubber sheets for water sports.

Next-generation Kung-Fu Grip.

High-traction stairs.

Court shoes. Deck shoes.

One-size-fits-all belts.

Renault restraints.

Bras without infuriating metal clasps.

Alternative lamination material.

super cling grip y-fronts

Renault restraints.

I'LL TAKE TWO!!!

Bridgestone/Firestone tires!!

Ah, the memories. They just don't heal.

Crash test dummies.

Favorites system for MonkeyFilter.

One-size-fits-all girdle.

One-size-fits-all belt.

Everlasting shoe soles.

The ultimate parachute.

The unkindest cut of all, healed.

Also, this just says to Lorena Bobbit: You go, girl.

All this thread needs is a TUM perpetrated, olde tyme-style label: Pee+Vegetable Oil: together at last!, and it will be perfect. Might implode onto a black hole and take the whole of monkeys with it into oblivion.

And: smart, reusable condoms.

MonkeyFilter: Pee+Vegetable Oil

nuff said.

Tiny bouncy balls which can transform into one large bouncy ball.

Adobe substitute.

Fish shaped Bag Of Holding.

Fish shaped adjustable baloons.

One-size-fits-all parachutes, shaped like fish.

*iz ded*

Physicians

You sick fucks!

Rubber fish, shaped like fish.

Peace accords?

ah, perfect!

Photobucket

TUM--HUBBA-HUBBA! RUBBA-BUBBA!

It's famous trick-cyclist Eileen Dover on the penny farthing!

i super <3 TUM.

OK, Abiezer, it took me three hours to get that joke!

Monkeyfilter: made of pee-troleum rubber

*loves TUM, too*

Sorry, TUM. I'll fire my writers forthwith. They're not keeping up with the quality visuals.

*puts hit out on Abiezer for failing to entertain TUM at an acceptable level of temporeneity*

Your goons will never get past my self-healing rubber shield, rory. They'll be right pissed off, oil warrant.
Gah, these new writers aren't much better either.

*sends some bouncers to weigh in on Abiezer's new shield*

*is ultimately rubbed out for consistent poor quality of puns*

I love how this thread has 10x more comments than any other, lately (I'm 155! I think.) -- BUT they're all one-liners.

I guess I would use it for tires that never pop, but I'M NOT FUNNY.

Hey, hey, hey, hey guys, I got one!

Galoshes for people with long toenails!

Another sea for Moses to part.

I keep thinking this thread has finally gone flat, but the damn thing keeps bouncing back.

I surely will never tire reading it.

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