March 18, 2004
I had a part-time job as a deliveryman for this local gangster named "Fast Slowpokey". At first it was just pretending-to-be-a-Chinese-food-delivery-guy-but-
actually-delivering-smack-to-the-smack-district type stuff. But due to my unreasonably-high shooting accuracy, agility, zookeeper background, and bewildering knowledge of cult 80s movies, I rapidly ascended the ranks and burst through the glass ceiling to achieve the rank of "international assassin".
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