September 19, 2007
Meteorite Crashes Near Remote Peruvian Village: Nearby Residents Suddenly Ill Due to Mystery Vapors. End of the World?
Hope so.
Why does it always have to be out in the middle of nowhere? Fuckin' Tunguska near some snow, bleedin' Desaguadero Peru near a single bored goat, bloody Finnmark near an empty fjord. Why can't there be a hit in the middle of Norwalk, CT, with a hundred fat Americans all smooshed or something? An event worth getting up in the morning for.
It's getting so we have to make our own disasters.
I already am.
Why does it always have to be out in the middle of nowhere?
Well, we had a green fireball that was reportedly 4 times brighter than the full moon float lackadaisically across the sky and then explode just the other night. And Albuquerque's not precisely the middle of nowhere.
Doesn't count. Didn't hit.
That's probably the job I should go for, Meteor Expert. Have it on my passport an' shit. Embossed on my fuckin' wallet. METEOR MASTA
And for another take on things, there's this.
We're so much smarter than those hoople heads over at that blue site.
Has anybody told Stephen King? Maybe it's a disguised invasion craft or a humongous devil dooky.
Mmmmm....mystery vapors....
(BTW, I posted a link to this yesterday. Chunk of Uranus??? Anybody???)
Some say the world will end in vapors,
Some say in "Boom!"
From what I've read in research papers,
I hold with those who favor vapors.
But if it had a second doom,
I think I know enough of war
To say that, for destruction, "Boom!"
Could less or more
The world consume.
Skylab missed me, meteors miss me, and the comet wouldn't take me. I'm just not special enough.
Hank, if I get smooshed just to make you happy, I'll haunt you.
Lara, if I get you smooshed, will you make me hauntingly happy?
The big rock fall from sky.
That's okay, it missed I.
Send the news from the holy steeple.
Vapors overcome the village people.
Word from God comes as a shock
To atheists, agnostics in their smocks.
I'm the Big Cheese with giant beard
That's not strange or bad or weird.
You can choose to be lamb in flock
Or I flatten you with this rock.
TUM for the win.
I demand a recount!
It's the metre, I think, that swayed the judges. Yours has an excellent ending, though.
Why is this surprising? Anything that gets stuck in the Werzog's holy urethra can make mortals sick from the accompanying P-funk.
Where bears wear hats,
A stone shall fall,
The world ends soon,
Thank you, that's all.
- Old Mother Shipton
Our learned friend has found the relevant prophesy once again.
He's a dead set legend.
It's the metre, I think, that swayed the judges.
Snif. I always fail to meet the height restriction.
The metre, or the me-te-OR?
Hmmm?
Think about it.
Snif. I always fail to meet the meteor restriction.
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