September 06, 2007
The 2 litres of hydrogen sulfide gas that emanate from your netherparts daily, is created by food-munching bacteria in your digestive tract that don't know what to do with sugar.
Basically.
And in a further digestive-ironical twist, sugar-free foods also make you poot.
What makes you fart?
Doing crunches at the gym.
Never fails.
Perrier.
Too many potato chips. Also, eating before going to bed generates some impressive Dutch oven action.
cashews are perhaps my worst offenders, also pizza, chicken tikka masala (hubby and I only eat indian food when we are staying in for the evening!)
for some reason cucumbers make me burp.
oh! I mean, I don't fart, I'm a girl!
Girlfarts are teh funnay
Cucumbers make many people burp. There are such things as "burpless" cucumbers (English cucumbers are supposed to be burpless), which may at least reduce the burping. No fartless cashews, alas.
And in a further digestive-ironical twist, sugar-free foods also make you poot.
I am no longer allowed to have sugar-free Reeses Peanut Butter Cups due to their highly unfortunate effects on my GI tract.
*whpssshhh!* *whpsshhhh!*
G'waaaan . . they'll never know!
Girlfarts are teh funnay
The only thing more horrid-smelling than girl farts are dog farts. FACT.
guiness does terrible things
Maddox on girl farts
Excuuuuuse me?
I do NOT fart.
But I have been known to *sparkle*
Eggs. Cabbage. Beans.
Any day around here can be the Fourth of July.
I have 2 dogs and a husband. My sparkles are lost in the mephitis
Why?
Because it's th-air.
i fart because i care.
petebest sir, thank you for the giggle, I laughed sooo hard, well I won't say what happened next
I suppose this makes me very childish, but...
Certain dogs are not very bright about bodily functions. We've had two of them. Every time there's a personal canine zephyr, the dog will turn around and stare, or leap up to look, or whip around and bark (intensity of reaction dependent on velocity and bouquet, I guess.
And we laugh every time. Never gets old. The look on the dog's face....
OK, here it comes, folks.
*drum roll
PULL MY FINGER!!!
I can't believe a single one of you losers didn't post that quintessential fart line already!
guiness does terrible things
I've seen you after three beers, and maybe it was that I'd had four, but you were delightful company.
/me misses Euro monkeys and is willing to risk derail after tasty mint julep
Hot girl farts right into guy's mouth. (probably NSFW)
Mythbusters: Do Pretty Girls Fart?
Mythbusters: Are Farts Flammable?
Man, this mint julep is tasty.
I love fart.
And now, it gives me great conflict and tummy distress to present the First Annual Petebest Award for Fart Thread Commentary tooo . . . (*drumroll*)
For her use of "mephitis" and "personal canine zephyr" - GramMa!
(*P-Funk's "Atomic Dog" plays, crowd cheers*)
*GramMa enters stage left wearing a shimmering sequined crimson lycra stretch off-the-shoulder backless braless long gown showing visible panty lines.
*as spotlights cross, GramMa air kisses and bows deeply
*GramMa sparkles***
I find a certain serendipity in that this thread follows "Pavarotti RIP". Yes, I am sure he could. Mucho gusto.
HA!
BlueHorse FTW, even without the preacher. Gosh it sure is sparkly in here.
*reaches for Glade Mist*
The Better Marriage Blanket Dampens Farts to Save
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