July 17, 2007
New Yorker Monkeys Caption Contest You could actually enter, but it would probably be more fun to enter your caption in this thread.
"Not quite up to standards for our Shakespeare Project, but there is an opening on the writing staff for "Two and a Half Men"...
"Snape kills Dumbledore? Nooooo!"
a sneak peek into Jayson Blair's interview
" Isn't it time to stop ripping off other people's copyright?"
"Look, this year we're completing NaNoWriMo whether you like it or not, OK?"
John Grisham has all of his novels go through rigourous animal testing.
Hi Pleg!
"Sadly, Simeon never DID get sell his very promising screenplay for "The Planet of the Chimps".
remove the "get" from the sentence above. Sheesh. I need an editor.
rocket88: I believe "who farted?" is also a perpetual winner.
PSA: there's a book out there, filled with cartoons rejected by the New Yorker, largely for reasons of being highly offensive. Laff riot. That is all.
Newscorp Executive: (reading) "George Bush unveils bold new plan for victory in the War on Terror in Iraq." Yes, I think we can use this.
"Yes, well, 'Lancelot Link' slash really isn't what the board had in mind..."
Zookeeper Employee Reviews
To be or not to be. That is the Gazarneplehhhhh...
Item five on this CD.
"Stupid monkeys...if I find one more spelling error I'll loose my mind"
Congressional aides finish drafting legislation which will heal America's health care woes.
"Hmmm... Fairly impressive, but I've never been a fan of Science Fiction."
"Captain Jack *is* the Face of Bo? Oh, why the hell not."
"Dammit, Curious George, I'm Loosing My Mind!"
Back off, BlueHorse!
"I'll post this to Free Republic immediately."
"Simeon", get it? I know wendell got it
: )
Oh please, you totally just retconned that typo into a pun.
"I love what you've done with this scene, but you used 'frission' twice in the same paragraph."
"Chillee's gonna want it to talk more about otter bile."
"I thought there were three 'o's' in 'ook.'"
"I understand that you're an artist, but must you smear feces on every page?"
"What's with the smears?"
DAMMIT!
"Good work, doc, but is this really Nature material?"
"'When Jane Goodall caught me in 1968 I was wild. Wild? I was absolutely livid...'"
Wow, Captain, we totally had a mind-meld. That's so cool. Of course ,the fact that we thought-shared "smeared feces" is a little disturbing, but kind of what the internet is all about, really.
"Management can probably go for the Dental Plan and COLA, but this bit about non-caged working conditions isn't going to fly."
"No, I have no intention of putting these papers into the giant nipple clamp I am carrying under my arm."
"I don't care if it IS Casual Friday - put some damn pants on!"
"'Hamlet' is a little cliched, don't you think?"
Murdock, I have some changes to this weeks headlines from Mr. Rove
"I KNEW this would happen. It's 1 MILLION monkeys on 1 MILLION typewriters. Fuck Accounts Payable!"
"Change 'war-torn jungle' to 'suburban Connecticut' and 'lion-eating Bili ape' to 'sexually insecure executive,' and I think I can sell it to the New Yorker."
"Oh-oh, Curious George is having another of his gut-feelings about Al-Qaeda."
"Just great. Another Tom Wolfe novel."
"I read this on MetaFilter three weeks ago..."
"When you stop brachiating and flinging your waste, you can have that iBook. Until then, you'll just have to make do with the Woodstock."
"Bah, this is a fake, obviously created using Word. It's a matter of kerning."
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