July 04, 2007

Suicide Food Is Not Funny. What is Suicide Food? Suicide Food is any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society. Suicide Food says, “Hey! Come on! Eating meat is without any ethical ramifications!" Suicide Food is not funny.
  • Now I'm hungry for bacon. Dammit.
  • What about the Dish of the Day?
  • DAMMIT sfred! I was looking for that!
  • Yeah! The chicken takeaway mascot that happily beckons us to partake of a bucket of its fried brethren, for instance. The Benedict Arnold of the chicken world! This has always bothered me. Filthy traitors. /spit
  • Sorry Gomi! Here's another one: Charlie the Suicidal Tuna (youtube).
  • Don't forget SNL's Cluckin' Chicken (also YouTube).
  • Man, I can't think of the Dish of the Day without a smile coming to my face. Perhaps the Suicide Food website is not for me. (In fact, I think I'm going to see if there's any bacon left on the breakfast table).
  • *munches on bacon* *considers creating Flash animation about it*
  • You people getting the munchies for bacon know that bacon is made with pigs' anuses, right?
  • I thought it was their lips. But then, what is the difference in a pig?
  • The concept has ALWAYS bothered me, from the age of about four when I first noticed it. It's nice to find out I'm not the only one. *shuffles off, singing the turkeys' "Eat Me" song from Addams Family Values*
  • Anthropomorphic food has always given me the heebie jeebies.
  • I think ethical questions about eating meat would have less impact if we actually took part in the raising and ultimate killing of the animals we consume. We get all the benefits from factory farming (cheap, easily accessable meat) without the downsides from it (moral cupibility, having to kill the animal we've grown and nurtured, etc). I think there's more honesty and responsibility to farmers and ranchers who harvest their own meat than those of us who buy sanitized packages of factory raised hamburger at the local grocery. We've taken the "death" part out of what used to be part of the process of eating meat, the responsibility of the killing the animal.
  • The shmoo from Lil Abner is the ultimate suicide food. Gilbert Shelton and Dave Sheridan parodied the shmoos in an underground comic (Fabulous Furry Freak Bros #5) which had a similar animal, Nerds, that were hunted down, roasted and eaten by some redneck hunters, who then proceeded to spontaneously explode, whereupon a Nerd intones: "Shmoos we ain't!"
  • squid: I don't see it as honesty and responsibility as much as simple division of labor. We don't kill our own food for the same reason we don't make our own clothes or build our own houses.
  • I'm with squidranch. People don't want to know how their hamburgers got on the plate. I think every high school junior should be taken to a slaughterhouse and taught respect for the animals they eat. There's nothing wrong with eating meat, just know where it comes from.
  • Would it be possible to agree with GramMa and squid and still have a sense of humor about restaurant mascots that are cartoon depictions of the food the restaurant serves? Is it possible that Suicide Food might be a bit too aggressively earnest?
  • Exactly. Why can't vegetarians and vegans just make their own personal choices and not tell everyone else what to do?
  • Why can't everyone stop assuming that every vegetarian does tell everyone else what to do? As much as I don't believe in killing and eating animals, I do not ever, ever judge anyone for doing it, nor do I tell anyone what to do. And I, for one, am sick of hearing that stereotypical generalization constantly. I've decided that it's meat-eating guilt, manifesting itself by tarring all vegetarians with the brush of annoying crusaders. Easier to eat meat if it means you're not one of "them", the obnoxious vegetarians. I guess vegetarians can't just not tell everyone else what to do for the same reason every meat eater can't stop telling me I'm crazy for being a vegetarian, and I'd be "healthier if I just ate a good steak."
  • I don't use purple colored soaps; I don't suggest you do this, but if you want to: hi-5!
  • restaurant mascots that are cartoon depictions of the food the restaurant serves? I started collecting photos to start a flickr group for autophagous foods. If anyone wishes to join me in this project, I have two photos.
  • Uh...I didn't say "all". I meant the people who created this site.
  • my flank is particularly tender today... are you sure you wouldn't like to try some?
  • I eat meat. Not a hell of a lot of it, but I do eat meat. And I'm in no way saying that you should or shouldn't eat it. I just think that if we were to know more about what we are eating, how it is raised, how it is harvested, etc., we'd all be more informed, more healthy, and far more intellectually and spiritually honest. We've removed many of the things that tied us to the earth and it's other inhabitants that was a part of life for thousands of years. Birth and death, both are hermetically sealed, sanitized and hidden from view. Both have been made somehow "dirty". A little less repression of these natural cycles might be a good thing.
  • I agree with teh squidranch. If more people raised their own animals for food, there would be a lot more vegetarians around.
  • If more people raised their own animals for food, there would be a lot more vegetarians around. Or at least a lot fewer eaters of lung-owning vertebrates. It's hard to become pals with yer average scallop.
  • Yes, but what about yer above average scallop? Won't someone stick up for the high IQ scallops?
  • "I taste like… freedom!” Suicide food is HILARIOUS!
  • I think if more people raised their own animals for food, there would be more inhumane treatment of animals and more disease. The reason I prefer to have farmers and ranchers do it has nothing to do with squeamishness or spiritual dishonesty. They're just better at it. I do agree, however, with your point that being shielded from the realities of our nature has been a damaging thing, culturally. Many people really don't understand where stuff comes from.
  • Don't be too sure of the "inhumane treatment" part of your arguement rocket88. The factory raised chicken and veal calf's lives are pretty damn misrable. Their lives are pretty near daily torture. And life isn't that much better for the average factory dairy cow, but they do live longer. As for everyone being able to raise their own meat, that's pretty much impossible due to city life and as you mention, disease. It's just probably a good thing for people to know about how their food is raised and processed. They'll appreciate that Quarter Pounder a bit more and eat a few less of them.
  • To be honest, I thought the site was intended to be a little tongue-in-cheek. I find the mascots and their write-ups hilarious, and I'm a pretty committed carnivore. There is something odd with the idea that you can be a carnivore yet assume that meat is something that comes on styrofoam trays. I guess I agree with squidranch that if you're going to eat meat you need to have more than in intellectual understanding of where it comes from.
  • Many people really don't understand where stuff comes from. Oh, come on! It says it right there on the label: Trans-fats - obviously Transylvania, despite that the margarine was assembled in Ontario.
  • I think if more people raised their own animals for food, there would be more inhumane treatment of animals and more disease. You're kidding, right? Just on the off chance that you're not, let me put on my agricultural education hat (the one I wear at work) and tell you that disease is far more rampant in factory farms than family ones. Family farms have to use far fewer antibiotics. Their animals get a lot more exercise and fresh air (as opposed to the none that the majority of American food animals get), and a much more balanced diet that is less likely to involve cannibalism. One of the kids' essays we got for our contest this year was from a farm girl, about her first experice with having cattle she'd helped to raise slaughtered. It was sad, of course, but it was infused with a respect for the animals that I doubt you;d ever see from a mass producer.
  • Still, you have to admit that the conditions would change dramatically due to the fact that a different sort of people would be performing husbandry than those who are either drawn to it or were brought up with it - among other variables that can't be considered from statistics found in this current scenario, i.e. market demand for farm technological advancements in such a society and the competition thereby created. Disclaimer: not agreeing with r88 entirely, but sensing a valid sentiment.
  • I wasn't kidding. Every meat eater raising their own food is definitely not the same as "family farms". Most people don't have that kind of land. I was thinking more along the lines of the rural Asian practice of housing pigs, chickens, and humans in very close proximity, thereby helping create and propagate wonderful new flu virus strains every year through cross-species mutations. I understand the sentiment, but IMO, raising your own food is a non-solution to a non-problem. If people want to obliviously eat packaged meat, let them. Where's the harm?
  • I wasn't kidding. Every meat eater raising their own food is definitely not the same as "family farms". Most people don't have that kind of land. I was thinking more along the lines of the rural Asian practice of housing pigs, chickens, and humans in very close proximity, thereby helping create and propagate wonderful new flu virus strains every year through cross-species mutations. Well, by all accounts the chickens my Grandma raised in her back yard were treated nearly as well as her own children. When you're rasing something for your own consumption you tend to be more concerned about its quality. And the family farms I'm talking about are the ones where people do eat the meat they've raised themselves. Everything I've read about the spread of bird flu in Asia relates to farms that sell birds for profit, or those with generally poor sanitary/health conditions where disease would run rampant no matter what they were raising. I understand the sentiment, but IMO, raising your own food is a non-solution to a non-problem. If people want to obliviously eat packaged meat, let them. Where's the harm? Yeah, what's the harm in blithely and blindly reaping the benefit of practices which for all one knows are inhumane or barely sanitary? Let's abdicate responsibility for what we put into our bodies and how we use the Earth's resources and happily bury our heads in the sand! Nothing wrong with that! I'm not necessarily advcating every person raising his own food from seend and egg, but knowing and remaining as close as possible to the sources of our food is just plain good common sense.
  • Still, you have to admit that the conditions would change dramatically due to the fact that a different sort of people would be performing husbandry than those who are either drawn to it or were brought up with it Yeah, 'cause there's no way to learn a valuable skill except to be drawn to it or brought up eith it.
  • The whole thing's a wildly theoretical thought experiment anyway. Like I said, I understand the sentiment, but it's never going to happen. I just pointed out some of the negative aspects of your idiot neighbours and co-workers raising and slaughtering animals in their backyards and apartments. We don't do those things because it's genuinely better (not just lazier) to leave them to trained experts. Yes, the conditions of factory farms need to be improved and regulated, but raising chickens in the spare bedroom isn't going to accomplish that.
  • Meanwhile, efforts to help people better understand where their food comes from have tons of value. It may be unrealistic to expect us to go back to raising our own food, but it's not unrealistic to try to better educate people about how the whole cycle works. I'm just not sure Suicide Food is an effective way to do it. ("Ever laughed at a pig cartoon outside a BBQ restaurant? Then you're a moron!!")
  • Also, as long as they don't break any laws, I think that vegetarians have every right in the world to say whatever they want about that lifestyle. There's this thing called the constitution. Somethin' in there called the freedom of speech. Or at least there used to be...
  • There's just one thing I'd like to say here: Mmmmmmmm, ham sammitch!
  • So most of you didn't feel any kind of ickiness as a kid when you found out where your hamburger came from? I do think the Suicide Food site is more tongue-in-cheek than anything. I don't think they're trying to accomplish a militant meatless coup.
  • If the FPP site shows Suicide Food, are the cows at Chick-Fil-A Homicide Food? (scroll down for picture of cow with billboard sign.) That cow motif has always disturbed me. Here's a COW, telling me to eat more CHICKEN. It's creepy. I discovered they're trying to get their customers in on the act next week: link
  • I especially found the Burger King tie-in with Disney's "Chicken Run" to be odd. Kids, go see this movie with cute chickens that talk, then come eat one!
  • So most of you didn't feel any kind of ickiness as a kid when you found out where your hamburger came from? Oh yes. I haven't eaten meat since I realized that there was this viable alternative called "being a vegetarian" at age 12. There is nothing good about factory farming practices. Although I never see myself not being vegetarian, I don't have the same kind of ethical objections to smaller "family" farms and ranches.
  • And even as I am not a hunter that lifestyle, if practiced with conciousness and respect, seems more in tune than factory farming. This is not to say that everyone should go out and bow hunt their brats and burgers. But I do think that those who are all up in arms about that the hunter lifestyle shoiuld give it a bit more respect than those who pretend to distain violence against animals but still sneak a burger on the sly.
  • OK, first of all... I have this feeling that, if they weren't food species, certain animals would be nearly extinct in many parts of the world. I don't think people would put much into raising cows if some weren't going to be eaten. (They would still be used for manure, maybe, and for leather.) It's my understanding that a major reason that hunting seasons are legal on certain species is that those species no longer have enough natural predators, at least in many parts of the US. (IE, deer.) So the excuse I hear from deer hunters is that, if they didn't hunt, there would be many more car accidents involving deer, and enough deer that some would starve to death. They say that their hunting, with a quick, clean kill, actually reduces overall deer suffering. I think all the reasons are true, to at least some extent, but some of the people involved in game hunting are sometimes a little disingenuous about their reasons, tending to leave out the "I totally think it's fun to kill stuff!" part. Also, never underestimate how much many farmers absolutely despise deer. My in-laws have a family farm on which they used to raise sheep, as well as crops. They are enthusiastic about having deer hunted in season on their property, even though they no longer raise sheep or crops. My fiance is slightly cold towards housepets, because aside from farm dogs, he mostly just took care of animals he raised for 4H, which were always sold to slaughter at the county fair! (That's part of raising an animal for 4H, generally.) He doesn't get as emotionally involved with animals as I do. He loves a good slice of lamb, which I couldn't ever eat. I do not think that everyone should raise food, or visit slaughterhouses (which would put me off eating pretty much anything, meat or not, for pretty much ever), but I think that family farms should be encouraged and that the factory farming industry is evil, more or less. I'm not a vegetarian - I can't hack it - but I try to eat meat-free meals when I can, buy eggs from more humanely treated chickens, etc. (The eggs are a LOT more expensive than basic grocery-store eggs, but they also taste a lot better.) There's a lot of stuff I won't eat, but a lot of people have problems bringing their own ethical idealism in line with the way they were raised, among other issues, and I'm no different. I generally disdain violence against animals (except for food purposes, which I think should be done as humanely as possible), but I am completely open about the fact that I eat the occasional burger. I'm not pretending to disdain the violence, or sneaking the burgers. & it doesn't hurt us meat-eaters to at least try vegetarian/vegan foods and recipes, many of which weren't even developed for "vegetarians." I mean, there are plenty of good, meatless dishes that come from meat-eating cultures. IMO: It's good to not eat animals, but if you do, it's still helpful to reduce your consumption, & never waste meat that you've bought (something had to die to make that meat - it's disrespectful to just throw it away).
  • PS - (it's not a post from me without a PS) - the actual website is sardonically funny, to me, not preachily earnest. Click on the "5 noose" category to read commentary on some of the "sickest" examples. They are pretty sick, but the commentary seems, to me, more like it's meant to be nastily hilarious than pie-eyed and handwringing.
  • If I had a cook, I know I would eat vegie at home always--so many good recipes and so good for you. But I'm so lazy and kitchen-challenged that it's easier to just toss something together in a skillet casserole with a meat base. I purely HATEHATEHATE to cook. So Mr. B does most of it, and I eat what he cooks. Yes, I would eat vegie... until I passed that place near the theater in Boise that sells sausage sandwiches. Oh, the shamefulness of it all! Must. Eat. Sausage. No self-control. And on occasion when I smell the onions they harvest out of the fields around here in the fall, I MUST have a HAMBURGER!!
  • MonkeyFilter: Must. Eat. Sausage.
  • I've recently been a little disturbed at the Hannibal Lecter reference of Bobby Banana. Confirmation in this web site - mouseover the KIDS Home and 5 a day facts tabs.
  • I am all in favor of more people trying some tasty vegetarian meals. It would save a lot of those "What do you eat, anyways?" questions and since omnivores are the majority, it might increase the availability of the ingredients if y'all got a taste for them too.
  • I MUST have a HAMBURGER!! No no no, you're doing it wrong. Here, repeat after me: I. MUST. HAS. HAMBURGER!!?
  • I would totally eat dog and cat if it were on the menu. Especially lolcat. Eating an animal allows it to give something back to the rest of the world that it has taken from, unlike all these selfish humans you hear about who pump their useless cadavers full of plastics and chemicals and then sequester them in wooden boxes until even the worms and bugs get finicky.
  • What verbminx said. Personally, it strikes me that most people eat meat out of habit, as BlueHorse describes. I know I did. I grew up eating it because it was put in front of me, but that was the only reason. Once I broke through that mental block, it wasn't a bit harder to eat or cook without meat than it was with it.
  • ...vegetarianism is a habit too; let's not go pounding any bibles shall we?
  • Not pounding anything here, just telling about my own experiences and observations. And of course a vegetarian diet is a habit, but it's one that's usually developed (in modern America, anyway) out of conscious choice.
  • Both eating and not eating meat have always been conscious choices for me. I can do either depending on my mood or need. Eating vegetables is a different story: when I was a child I was forced to eat them - against my will! Even peas! I still hate peas! But I could leave whatever meat on my plate I didn't want; my dad would eat it. I hardly feel alone here. Seriously - "developed out of conscious choice"? That's a fairly blind swing. I've read associated literature, which is more than I can say for some vegetarians I know, whose "conscious choice" was akin to jumping off a bridge because everyone else was doing it and forgetting the bungee cord. I'm not harping on your choice; just your choice of words.
  • I still hate peas! I get what you are saying. But When I was forced to eat peas, lima beans and the infamous succotash, all of them were frozen. If you've ever tried fresh shelled English peas, the difference between them and the blocks of factory frozen peas my parents fed me is night and day. I make a risotto with fresh peas that'd make you a believer. To be appreciated vegetables (unlike meat which can be easily frozen) need to be eaten as close to their harvesting as possible.
  • I don't know that people should start slaughtering their own meat, but surely a field trip to the slaughter house might be in order? Except they don't really offer tours. Wonder why.
  • I make a risotto with fresh peas that'd make you a believer. I already believe! I dislike garden fresh peas, as well, but if they disappear in the risotto I'm sure they'd be fine by me. Honestly, the only vegetable/legume/whatev that I can't stand even in a mixture of other foods is green beans. Unless they're pickled, I suppose. Fuck it, fussy to me probably differs to what you may think. I am literally an omnivore. I ate a train last week.
  • I don't know that sympathizing with another life form and watching it being harvested because you eat it is a reasonable thing. If plants were sentient how would this line of reasoning support vegetarian and vegan lifestyle? The only way in which food should be judged is in nutrition, efficiency and environmental impact, not how "shocking" it is to harvest or grow, that's all bullshit: ephemeral norms, taboos, superstitions - all have been responsible for all manner of atrocities in the past. Perhaps we should be desensitized to husbandry so we don't waste our time worrying over which food to eat while others starve. And yes I know factory farming causes huge environmental problems; what with groundwater-oceanic pollution, air pollution and deforestation to make a stab at it. Industrial agriculture has its environmental flaws as well. We all can't afford "organic" especially due to the inefficiency of growing organic - should we let people continue to hunger because we are wasting land on crops whose yield will be minimal rather than GMOs designed to give maximal yield? And maybe I'm just a nihilist.
  • Forget I posted that; I'm getting slowly worked up. This isn't my soapbox and I don't want it to turn into another disaster.
  • Frozen vegetables are at least as nutritious as fresh, often more. (The frozen veggies are usually frozen within about a day of harvest, but the fresh ones can take days to make it to the store shelves, and lose nutrients on the way, supposedly.) I like frozen or fresh vegetables, but I'm hard-pressed to eat anything canned. But that's just me. Everyone has their own "icky foods" list! :) And yeah - even having the choice of being an omnivore or vegetarian is kind of a "problem" that only relatively privileged people have. As is the choice of whether or not to eat organic. People living at subsistence level seem less likely to worry about this, because at that level, food is food. (Rebecca Blood has been posting in the relatively recent past about trying to eat a fully organic diet on a food-stamp budget. She seems to have pulled it off so far. Obviously, to do this, constant cooking is involved. I wonder how the low-cost meal plans at Hillbilly Housewife pan out if you try to do them A)with organic foods and/or B) meatlessly? She has a "healthy" area now, but I think it would be interesting to try to do the original menus.)
  • I think meatless meals on a "food stamp budget" would be very simple to do, as long as you're prepared to base most of them on beans and rice or beans and pasta. (And you already had a supply of some basic spices on hand to make said beans and rice palatable. It would, however, get really tiresome.) Organic, not so much, unless you've got a vegetable garden.
  • It wouldn't be all that hard if you lived close to an Indian import shop. Most of India eats very well as vegetarians for pennies a day. You'd have to like vegetarian Indian food (I do). As for the difference between fresh and frozen foods. The freshness of "fresh" depends on where you are buying and how far away the vegetables were harvested. I've tried a number of frozen vegetables and none compare to what I am able to get fresh at my farmer's market, or even my regular supermarket, especially this time of year. Your results may vary as I live in California close to several major farm regions that produce wonderful vegetables even in the winter.
  • First day I came to Cali included a stop at the produce section. Holy crap! And it was the middle of winter! As much a factor as anything in my decision to stay. I think it's probably easier to go vegetarian in some places than others.
  • like squid's saying...
  • I make a risotto with fresh peas that'd make you a believer. Oh, I believe. I belieeeeeeve.... Chimp: When you talk about wasted land, think of this: Boise sits in a lovely flood plain--think mini-Nile. All that lovely agricultural land with access to water is now under concrete. Now we're trying to irrigate the desert. People don't NEED lawns. They can build in the desert using "best practice housing" and xeriscape. People do need to eat, and local is so much better than shipped. Now I can't go pick a quart of strawberries for a quarter down in the valley anymore. No local strawberries at all, except my poor bug-infested ones in the back. Same thing is happening in Emmett and Fruitdale: all the local orchards are selling out to housing developers. The human race deserves to go under.
  • *claps* *sobs*