January 02, 2007

• Last year, I resolved to write more and drink less. Unfortunately, I got it the wrong way around. I'll try again this year.
• I'll second bob....
• ...but I'll put it off to tomorrow. I 'm going to grab a gin and tonic. Though, if by "writing" you mean posting on this site, I'm adhering to my resolution. So w00t!
• I'm going to run a half marathon in March, another one in April, and a full marathon in May. This after thirteen years of smoking, almost three of not, one collapsed lung, and half a life of utter sloth. Oh, and I'm going to try really hard not to fuck this up.
• No back-sliding.
• Best of luck with both new directions your life is taking, mct!
• Congrats, MCT!
• Good work, tools.
• Amen!
• I resolve to grow talons, wings and develop an acute sense of echolocation. Oh, and world peace, lots of world peace - for my friends, anyway. Oh, and get some friends. Congratulations, MCT.
• Ummm! Echolocation. Me, too. And the standing up straight when stoned.
• Thanks, everyone.
• I vow to not make any vows I can't keep. Which, at this point, is any vows at all.
• I have solemnly sworn to suck less in 2007
• Keep your filthy lips off my Les, you bitch.
• Dallas Good of The Sadies spoke ex cathedra from the main stage at the Horseshoe on New Year's, declaring 2007 to be "the best year ever". The Good brother has so declared, and so it shall be. And given that cute little blonde number who hitchhiked from Napanee to catch the show and needed a couch to crash on, and was determined that Dallas should be that couch, and that she seemed to be holding her own against the band's girlfriends who were determined to protect their territory and not let her join their number, Dallas' year should have started rather well. Hopefully that spirit of giving rubs off a bit...
• Hey, Cap'n, YOU'VE got a couch, aintcha? I'm with Lara. No resolution is the best resolution. Although, I'm coming 'ound to the idea that 2007 may be the year I get that long-awaited hip replacement. (stmming from the sudden "No More Rollerblading Resoluion of 1999.") An' congrats on the no fumar, MCT. Stay frosty! It's the best present you've ever given yourself.
• Oh -- and if I haven't said it before, well done, MCT! Way to ejaculate! No couch, but two loveseats, TUM. And I'm not at my own place for the moment, which would be an hour and a half away anyway, as I'm at the units' place looking after Mother Renault (see blog for depressing details). Thus, hoochie-coochie opportunities were completely and thoroughly thwarted. Mind you, the first hint of that came at the stroke of midnight, when the cute little blond number, who was standing RIGHT BESIDE ME and clearly within smooching radius leapt up onstage to kiss Dallas instead. Which is regrettable, but completely understandable. He's Dallas Good, fer crissakes.
• I'd also like to congratulate middleclass - and wife! - on creating new life. Unlike Captain Renault, however, I'm not going to belittle this great achievement by suggesting it was a case of "mere ejaculation" - no sir. For the truth is that middleclass accomplished the deed from 2,000 miles away - his wife was, at the time, on a completely different continent. She was also in a different century - for middleclass is actually an Earl in early Victorian times, while his wife works as the press secretary to Ramses II, upon the Ancient Nile. How, then, did he manage to impregnate his spouse from such a distance in four-dimensional-space-time? FLYING BULLETS OF MIND SEMEN.
• Isn't this the year of the Flaming Pig, whereupon the incidence of terrible accidents doubles and trebles? Bad luck abounds. Wouldn't the wise resolution be to buy flats, look both ways and hide most of the time? And yes, little Jetus is a great looking blob. Looking forward to the arms and legs part. Congratulations.
• *adjusts tin foil, places swim cap on top for extra security*
• The only New Year's resolution I ever made was to work up the courage to try karaoke. It was so successful that I now karaoke about every week or two. Maybe this year I should resolve to get good enough at it that they quit taking the mike away from me so early in the night.
• See also 2006, and 2005. I personally am trying to give up cursing this year. You . . big . . sack of . . . !! RRggh! It's tougher than it might seem. FFFffffffff--ooey!
• About effing time you showed up, pete.
• Yeah, where the fuck you been, fuckball?
• You shutup! Poo-heads! (I'm learning that curse words are shortcuts for actual emotional and/or intellectual content. Without them it turns out I'm really slow and don't actually have much to say. . . . Nertz.)
• I resolve to barbeque more often, as befits the year of the Fire Pig.
• I will fall out of my tree in 2007. (It should have been 2003, since 3 rhymes with tree, but I'm not really all that worried about making the rhyme.)
• Run out of leaven in 2007, then?
• Let's all be Kevin in 2007!
• Mr. and Mrs. MCT: If you name your child Nunia Tool, I will put him/her through college. That is all.
• yeah, she'll send yr kid to rock school. whoopdedoo!!! seriously, congratulations on yr intented donation to the genepool :D
• Hey now: I don't expect everyone to become a geololologist. In fact, I discourage kids from that career path just so I have fewer people to compete with for jobs. However, I refuse to pay for Clown College.
• That should be School of Rock, not rock school.
• I will put him/her through college. *adds name to list* That should be School of Rock, not rock school. *adds goetter's name to Christmas list*
• Congratulations from the heart, mct.
• better than flying bullets of owl semen, I suppose???
• Felicitations M. et Mme. Outildelabourgeoisie. In December 2007, I will make resolutions for 2008.
• Congrats on the impending monkeybaby as well!
• Congratulations on the soon-to-be addition to the ol' Toolkit, mct!
• Je souhaite une bonne et heureuse année 2007 à tous et à toutes! Félicitations les plus sincères quant à la conception de votre petit enfant, M. et Mme. outils.
• Talk American, goddamn Frenchy!
• Good observation, fuyu, although I'd say it's more of a cheesy odour than a fruity one. No, I don't know how she can stand it either.
• Hee hee! He's talkin' funny talk!
• It's a Freedom Baby, dammit!
• mct is obviously a big ole copycat. Seriously -- congrats! And believe everything your friends are telling you about impending sleep deprivation. *yawns*
• Yaaaaay! Congratulations, meredithea!
• Congrats, Dr. Meredithea.
• Way to go mom!
• Hooray meredithea, and what a great name for her!
• Awwwwwwwwwwwwww...
• Congratulations, meredithea -- she's beautiful.
• yeah!!!! congrats meredithea, she's super cute :)
• Congratulations and best wishes to you all!
• What a li'l doll! Congratulamications!
• Squeeeee!!! Couldn't be cuter if she were dipped in kittens-- congratulations, meredithea! And congratulations mct!
• Enough of this dipping of babies into vats of kittens!! Covers the cuties in hair, it does.
• My genetics will take care of the hairy baby thing, thanks very much.
• My son was born with a strip of fuzz down his back. The doctor said that it would fall out, but it never did. At the time, I thought it would be cute to nick-name him Monkey Man, and now the kid is almost 12, and he has this thick blond stripe of hair down his back, super-hairy forearms, and a nascent beard. Word of advice: Be careful what pet name you choose for your baby.
• Thanks, everybody! Sydney is already known as either Sydney Kat or burrito butt, something I'll be happy to tell future dates in fifteen years or so.