December 20, 2006

Who wants to know? Slate's Explainer presents the best (or worst?) of the questions received this year. One of them WILL be answered, but which one should it be? And which one was asked by our very own Captain?* *OK maybe he didn't ask any of them, but if he had, which one would it have been?
posted by Northern Exposed 17 years ago
  • The most disturbing question is: "When we are approaching another person, like in a hallway, why do we step to our left? That is, try and pass right-shoulder-to-right-shoulder." ...because my tendency is to do the opposite. And, obviously, the last question is Captain Raginhard's.
  • I think we monkeys have a duty to answer all of these unanswered questions. Maybe if we each take one? Here's mine: "Why is smooth peanut butter cheaper than nutty?" It's not, you moron. NEXT!
  • What comes after 999 trillion? 999 trillion and one, duh. Why do train whistles at night always sound lonely and mournful? Not so in the daytime. "My friend said 'Weather is trippy' and I said 'It's not the weather that is trippy, but perhaps our experience of the weather that is indeed trippy', and then I thought, Man, I should have just said 'Yeah.'" --M.Hedberg
  • Given the exchange and dispersion of matter, how likely is it/how often do we inhale/consume and/or incorporate into our own protein structure molecules that were once in some historical figure, say Abraham Lincoln? Not only is it very likely, but in fact, every single molecule of one particular famous person has remained inside you, so YOU have actually become that person. Which famous person are you? Wouldn't you like to know...
  • yea i have my own 620 gang and i dont know how to run it to make not look like a little bitch gang joke it is just me and my friend how do i run it? Doh! Just pretend it's a little 420 bitch gang joke! Psst, and bring lotsa lube, yo.
  • What comes after 999 trillion? 10^15
  • Don't quadrillions come after trillions?
  • Are UFOs confirmed to be from other Alien Planets? This is one that always peeves me. The "U" is for "unidentified." So, basically, any flying object is a UFO until you know what it is, and it ceases to be a UFO as soon as you identify it. So, if we knew they were spaceships from another planet, they wouldn't be UFO's.
  • Why is the No. 8 always the same combination (tamale, enchilada, rice, beans) in any Mexican restaurant I visit? This includes primarily the southeast United States but not obvious franchises. Because you always go to the same restaurant?
  • PYGMIES: How/when/where/still in existence/do we mate with them? I would like a very careful definition of 'we' in this context please.
  • • How clean is bar soap in a public bathroom? Is it "self-cleaning," since it's soap? It seems like a health hazard to me. An object used to clean is not in itself clean. Used towels are not clean. Used doormats are not clean. Used Kleenex... well, you get the idea. And when is there ever a bar of soap in a public washroom? Soap dispensers, yes, which are filthy things, but you're touching them filthily, and washing after, so there's protective filth on your hands going in. But bars of soap in public washrooms? Gas stations, maybe, but there the filthy-washroom protocols kick in, where you don't touch anything, flush with your foot, don't wash your hands and comfort yourself knowing that whatever nastiness your hands may have encountered was already, you know, your own.
  • Is it possible to collect all the cookie dough in Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream and actually bake cookies from it? I desperately want them to try this.
  • What comes after 999 trillion? 10^15 Don't quadrillions come after trillions? Don't be silly. The correct answer is 999 trillion and one.