October 23, 2006

• Oooooh-la-la! Meetez-vous up en français! Je suis très très TRÈS heureuse pour VOUS!!! Avez-vous an EXCELLENT FUCKING TIME JERKTÊTES.
• WTF does "Rendez-vous des singes" mean for those of us who don't speak French?
• Singes = monkeys Rendez-vous = rendezvous, meet-up
• Haha! Louis, I hate to tell you this but Paris is in France. Hoo! Ahh love ya for tryin' tho.
• JERKTÊTES is my new favorite insult! Merci, koko!
• ...this but Paris is in France. What? Not the Cobblestone Capital of Canada? No hanging out at the Mary Maxim store? Fine.
• there will be absinthe and gitanes.
• And delicat petit KWASSON, bien sur! You people make me MALADE!
• *adds coco to shoutout list*
• Formidable! Vous êtes un awesome dude!
• Maybe now the Captain will get laid.
• If I were going to Parie, I would want to go to the Lapin Agile. But since I'm not, screw you.
• Lucky monkeys. Have fun!
• Ooh. It's 2 hours from Orsay to the city, though. And I'm never done with work by 4pm. So kinda iffy. Still, marked my calendar for the 20th and will see if I can make it.
• November in Paris, chestnuts in blossom Drinking with Roryk under the trees November in paris, Crocs on my tootsies Shouting out to Koko and Bees! November in Paris Whom can we squee to Jerktêtes are we two at heart!
• Beaucoup de bananes pour vous!!!
• C'est rigolo, Ralph! Merci!
• "C'est dommage." I knew a girl in high school who said this all the time. Homework got assigned: C'est dommage. Football team lost: C'est dommage. I think it was her yearbook quote, too. I had no clue what c'est dommage meant. Everyone laughed when she said it, like it was some sort of insider joke for the French class. But I was taking Spanish class. It was like she was leaving me out of the joke, ON PURPOSE. I hated that girl. And your stupid French meetups, too.
• > And I'm never done with work by 4pm. we probably won't meet until 7 or a little before (i can't get out of work before 6 on a monday). i'd guess we'll be in the [place] for a few hours. cap'n?
• November at home, c'est poche.
• my best friend in high school studied french, now she always said "quelle domage" to which I (a student of spanish) would say "que lastima", both of which mean "dood, that sucks!"
• You ever wonder if lurkers lurk meet-ups? I mean they/we all lurk here in the internet, and all. It is a common space, in a way. It seems sort of unsettling in the real world tho' - like reality TV divorced from the airwaves. Omigosh! Pedophiles use MoFi to lure young children into their namblish clutches!
• > And I'm never done with work by 4pm. we probably won't meet until 7 or a little before (i can't get out of work before 6 on a monday). i'd guess we'll be in the [place] for a few hours. cap'n? I'm totally open for a later meetup, but I didn't want to impose on your late train and family, roryk. I'm the one with the fexible schedule here. Besides, with any luck, I'll still be running on Eastern Daylight Savings anyway, so a 19h00 meetup will still seem like early afternoon to me. If it weren't for the complete darkness outside...
• c'est fromage? The Hungarian word for fromage is sajt.
• Combien cout les billets pour aller a Paris? Ce jerktete veux savoir!
• Bit more than last year, when I found flights on Zoom going for $99 Can. each way, T.O. - Paris. I don't think that even covered gas. But it's still pretty cheap. You pay for it in other ways.
• damn, I'm paying $500 US (RT) to go to New Jersey tomorrow....
• They should pay you to go to New Jersey!
• In Soviet Russia...
• koko, I couldn't agree more, I get to spend Halloween weekend in NJ for my sister's catholic-mass-in-a-church-fluffy-white-dress wedding. Hopefully the food'll be good.
• A Halloween wedding. Sounds interesting. Does it involve zombies?
• Or Frankenstein?
• so there's a brasserie called Les Deux Singes at 42 rue Vinaigriers in the 10th, not far from canal st martin. this is the closest to a monkey-themed bar i've found so far. *begins to search on filtre*
• I am sorely tempted to wear some sort of cheesy monster mask at the reception, which would drive my sister insane!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Il y a un restaurant africain qui s'appelle A la Banane Ivoirienne. Mais, je prefere une brasserie... Mais, non -- c'est ferme le lundi aussi! Calice d'hostie!
• Le Singe d'Eau. Seems to be Tibetan. Mmm Mnn! Tea with yak butter and salt!
• Unfortunately, le Singe Pelerin has become le Cochon a l'Oreille.
• Don't forget to order a side of Freedom Fries!
• Garcon, j'ai oublie les frites de gratis-dom!
• And give each other Freedom Kisses!
• Nunia, my pet. How you tease me with this talk of kisses...
• Thanks, but I don't like kibble in my kisses.
• Calice d'hostie! Bloody Canadians.
• Right. Roryk and I have made an Executive Decision, and the rendez-vous will be at: Les Deux Singes 42 rue des Vinaigriers 75010 PARIS Come one, come all, come see the Master of ASCII and the Master of, uh, something, in the live and in the flesh and hammered out of their gourds. With any hope.
• Bring hammers!
• In a tavern in Paris all covered with wine Were two little monkeys who can't walk straight lines
• To: Right Hon. Louis de Renault, Third barstool from the right Les Deux Singes 42 rue des Vinaigriers 75010 PARIS Dear Louis, Enclosed please find an itemized list of shoutouts requested by The Petebest Consortium. Please note carefully the placement, and line color, weight, etc. of each shoutout. Photos of you and the Mountie in question will be returned following completion of said shoutouts. Yours, TPbC
• i'm so excited i could spit!
• I'm listening to Jacques Brel songs in your honor, mes amis.
• I want drunken naughty pics of Louie (and roryk maybe doing some naughty ascii art??)!!! and some sort of shoutout, preferably including undergarments...please?
• I went all the way to California and you didn't ask to see me in my undershorts ... /offended
• did you write my name on them??
• WELL?? How was your fancy meetup, with the chocolate and the pastries and the haute-shouts pour la belle koko?
• Yeah, spill the beans. Did you fuck?
• Did we, fuck! There were many many beautifully crafted, gilt edged shoutouts on the table, but once we wrote Medusa's name on Capt. Renault's underpants (which he removed without taking off his trousers, proving what a talented bloke he is), the underpants spontaneously combusted with the hawtness, burning all surrounding shoutouts in a minor inferno. We therefore engaged in chanting the 5996 names of MoFi members, in order to ensure that nobody would feel left out and you would all enjoy prosperous and contented next sequences of time. This caused some disturbance in the bar, but eventually the locals joined in. However, they pronounced skrik as "skreek", which explains a lot. I'd like to note that neither Capt. Renault nor myself was suffering from havingdrinksus couldntbearsedshoutingouti. imaginary and invented shoutouts will appear as soon as i acquire some imagination and inventory.
• Did your Monkey meetup please ye? How does French barhopping strike you? Was it difficult or easy? Do your fellow Monkeys like you? We are anxious to elicit, Was it plain and easy coasting? Take it altogether, is it Better fun than double-posting? We shall all go on requesting Till you tell us, never doubt it; Everything is interesting, Tell us, tell us all about it! When you met for socializin' Did they keep you at a distance? Did you promptly recognize ‘em? Or did you require assistance? With a beer did you equip them? Lots of trumpeting and drumming? Were there waiters? Did you tip them? And will shoutouts soon be coming? Did your human being inner Feed on everything that nice is? Did they give you wine for dinner; Peaches, sugar-plums, and ices? We shall all go on requesting Till you tell us, never doubt it; Everything is interesting, Tell us, tell us all about it!
• Scene: An uncrowded bar, just around the corner from the Canal St. Martin. Dramatis Personae: Capt. Renault, a monkey. roryk, another monkey. Barkeep, a person. Enter roryk, dripping with rainfall. He spies a young gentleman seated alone toward the back of the bar. roryk: Captain Renault, I presume? Capt. Renault (for it is he): Yes. roryk: I'll have a pint of whatever you're having yourself. Capt. Renault: Barkeep! Barkeep: Messieurs? Capt. Renault: Deux pintes du vin rouge, s'il vous plait. roryk: So that ▓▓▓ isn't ▓▓ a great ▓▓▓? Capt. Renault: Yes indeed. And that ▓▓▓▓▓▓, what a fantastic ▓▓▓▓▓! Not to mention ▓▓▓▓▓, and the whole ▓▓▓▓ thing. roryk (in between guffaws): And the time that ▓▓▓▓ made that comment about ▓▓▓▓▓▓, quite rightly in my opinion, but then ▓▓▓ and ▓▓▓▓ were all over ▓▓▓ case about it! Capt. Renault: But ▓▓▓ Underpants ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓, such good songs and poetry. roryk: True.
• ▓▓▓▓ by any other name would still be, well ▓▓▓▓. Hey, wait a sec, how do we know that youse are actually in Paris? What evidence d'ya have? How we know the authenticity, the veracity and the genuine-ity of this episode?
• One cannot help but note that the ascii artist has been back and active, but Louis has bee absent without pants. There is a story here, there had damn well better be pictures here, and we expect some or both toot sweet, as they say in paree. Now do it, or we turn your tits blue.
• Yeah! We can't even see their berets and stripey shirts and little moustaches and the baguettes under their arms! Zut, alors!
• Louis is still in Paris til tomorrow I think. Unfortunately, there were no cameras at the meetup.
• *ponders bee absent without pants*
• there were no cameras at the meetup. There were no cameras at the meetup. There were no CAMERAS at the MEETUP????!!!! This was no meetup! This was a LIE! YOU HAVE HAD NO MEETUP, YOU...COWARDS!
• yeah...who visits paris without a camera...ONLY LUZZERS DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
• There were no cameras but I heard that the city fathers lent them the Mona Lisa from the Louvre to use as a kind of plate for the hors d'oeuvres at the gala dinner at the Eiffel Tower. The motorcade was slightly late, so the abashed mayor (forgiven this time around) gave a rendition of the Marseillaise au naturel.
• The captain is a stand-up bloke, a diamond geezer, a prince among men, and a convivial interlocutor. Lack of photographic evidence notwithstanding.
• I suspect there were cameras, but roryk and the Capt became frightened of something they found in the forest.
• Were there no sketch artists? No caricaturists? No... ASCII artists?
• Well. We endure 800 posts about his love(less) life, and then, when it is his turn to dish it out -- no camera. You are a mountain of a meetupper, mon capitain!
• There was only...zee mime!
• Monkeyfilter: the 5996 names of God MoFi
• Hey kids -- I'm back! Did you miss me? Sorry, but I didn't bring you anything. Zoom Airlines dinged me for sixty-four fucking Euros on overwieght, so all your goodies are probably at the impound lot for Charles de Gaulle, getting blown up by police robots for something. Um, yes. The shoutouts. The incomparable Roryky speaks the truth. As well as our chanting, we carved a fair number of your names on the door to the toilette, and there was some concern coming from the other patrons as to taking the door with us, for photos by Jean-Paul's and Simone's grave in Montparnasse. So we had to ditch it and run if we were going to beat the fuzz. In afterthought, the cemetary wall is really high, and not easily climbed with a door slowing us down. But our hearts were in the right place. Pounding through our chests after all that running. But definitely the drinking highlight of my trip. Even beats out getting blasted on kir royales in the smoky opulence of the Big Ben Bar at Le Train Bleu, after I had discovered that my tickets for Cesaria Evora at L'Olympia were in fact for Firday, and not Thursday, and I was all dressed up for a night on the town in Paris, with no place to go but somewhere decadent and expensive. Meeting Roryk beats out even that. It was just THAT GOOD. You should have been there. Seriously.
• Monkeyfilter: getting blown up by police robots for something.
• Rats, we really should have been there....
• Dang TUM was way ahead of me. As usual.
• That's my way of makin' sure you got my back!
• Something like this would have been nice. look closely, there's gotta be some shoutouts in there somewhere...
• Formidable!
• Ouch! Easy on the audio on that link Ralphie boy!
• Right. Plans have been finalized, and I'll be in Paris again for my annual visite for the nights of November 22nd and 23rd. So, if anyone is up for a meetup, I certainly am. I'd prefer Friday the 23rd, myself, as on the Thursday, I'll be at le Train Bleu, (again, to impress my gloating upon you all, something I do every year), and who knows how long that'll take. And if it turns out to be "just" the inestimable roryk, I'll be in Lille for the nights of the 19th and 20th, on my way to catch Adamo, the finest of all the fromage de la belle France. A rendez-vous in Lille may be much easier for roryk, and I'd be totally up for that instead.
• There's a nifty pub near the centre of Lille that sells great big glasses of local and Belgian beer. The 20th might work best for that. Alternatively, I'll be in Paris the usual Mondays and Thursdays, I expect. Le Train Bleu is a good experience, enjoy!
• You still up for the 20th, roryk? I know you have a real life... no biggie.
• Good god, are you going to just travel the rest of your life?
• I walk the Earth in despair that you're not mine, Larababy.
• Oh, Well that's alright, then.
• The 20th works for me. What time do you get into town?
• That's the one part of the trip I haven't been able to nail down, and I won't be able to until I get there. Suffice to say that I'll be there by late afternoon, early evening.
• Sorry -- I was totally mixed-up. I'll be arriving on the 19th, so I'll be there for the whole of the 20th.
• You're arriving just in time for a Ceramics and Chagall exhibit at La Piscine in Roubaix. You can get there by metro or tram from Lille Centre. I'll try to find out the name and location of a decent bar. Do you want to meet up the 19th or the 20th? The 20th is better for me.
• That's the one part of the trip I haven't been able to nail down, and I won't be able to until I get there. Suffice to say that I'll be there by late afternoon, early evening. Are you arriving by carrier penguin? Why the secrecy/ambiguity? Methinks there's more to this whole thing than is obvious.
• RailEurope.ca wants me to buy a rail pass, instead of three one-way tickets. It refuses to quote me prices, much less sell them, as there are three countries involved in getting to Lille. I'm sorry reality is much less interesting than what you had in mind, Larababy. 20th is good for me, Roryk.
• have you checked voyages-sncf.com for your tickets?
• Have you checked under your bed for muffins?
• Oh, no. Thanks for reminding me!
• Psst! Check your email, roryk!
• For those monkeys who are curious about such things, the MoFiLille rendez-vous des singes was quite something, even though it was just Roryk and I. Started out for a pint at some Australian bar, which was nostalgically smokey. That was just the meeting point, as the pub he'd really wanted to go was difficult to google or pages-jaunes or whatever, being simply named "The Pub". There, we had four or five beers each, all lovely local Flemish or Belgian ales, which having nearly double the alcohol content of regular North American piss, meant that the effective beer tally was much higher. As such, shoutouts proved negligible or non-existent. Probably the latter. I forget. Topics of conversation included: 1. How Henry VIII is personally responsible for the suckitude of British beer, and by extension, Canadian beer; 2. Differences between American and Canadian football, and the superiority of the latter; 3. Socio-economic discourse relating to current public sector labour conditions in France, and how I was going to be fucked by them; 4. Living conditions in Region Nord - Pas de Calais vis a vis 'Ancient Flanders'; 5. Office politics, rampant gossip and outright slander about people the other person couldn't possibly know; 6. Indignation at the waiter's suggestion that a Canadian accent was the same as an American one (OK, that one was pretty much just me); and 7. Some other stuff that I must have lost in my ensuing blackout. Anyway, a grand old time. All thanks to Roryk for making it such.
• Thank you, Capt. I enjoyed the slander very much. And the beer even more so. Did you make to Boulogne and thence Paris?
• Without engaging in a homicidal rampage? Surprisingly, yes. (Details on the blog.)