October 12, 2006
How to dispose of an elephant carcass - the FAO is brimming over with Interesting Stuff:
Elephant care manual for mahouts and camp managers, camel husbandry, compare the nutrient values of eland, giraffe and warthog meat, Ticks in a Changing World, how to make cheese from camel milk.
related: Guidelines for performing an elephant necropsy (pdf) - chainsaw required.
Make an LED elephant throwie?
For those who haven't actually read the article, the elephant was already dead.
At first, the elephants are likely to mate up to ten times a day but after a while this will reside to two or three times a day.
Man, isn't that always the way.
This is a great post. But now that I know how, my wife is going to make dispose of all those elephant carcasses in the back yard.
Just blow it up with dynamite.
Yeah, festoon the neighborhood with elephant entrails. That's going to go over REAL well.
Maybe closer to Halloween.
Freeze it and semi-bury it in your back yard.
Then call the paleontologists and tell them that you unearthed a mammoth while you were putting in your sprinkler system.
Gets 'em every time.
Undertaker: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your elephant. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
Man: Dump her?
Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames.
Man: What?
Undertaker: Oh, did you like her?
Man: Yes!
Undertaker: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: a burner, or a burier?
Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?
Undertaker: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.
Man: Oh.
Undertaker: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead.
Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead.
Undertaker: Where is she?
Man: In the sack.
Undertaker: Let's 'ave a look.
Umm, she looks quite young.
Man: Yes, she was.
Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED!
Fred: (offstage) Yea!
Undertaker: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!
Fred: (offstage) I'll get the oven on!
Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my elephant?
Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of broccoli and stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)
Man: What!
Well, actually, I do feel a bit peckish - NO! No, I can't!
Undertaker: Look, we'll eat your elephant. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
Man: All right.
Just one of the many reasons why flushability is a crucial factor in deciding on a pet.
"Yeah, festoon the neighborhood with elephant entrails. That's going to go over REAL well."
Should I have used a sarcasm tag & a link to the exploding whale video?
Screw worms!
Oh, believe me, I've tried. Little buggers wriggle around too much.
Claim: In 1970, the Oregon Department of Transportation attempted to dispose of a whale carcass by blowing it up.
Status: True.
Worm LED throwies! Get yer worm LED throwies! Guaranteed to irritate, horrify, creepitate and desecrate! Worm LED throwiieees!
Should I have used a sarcasm tag & a link to the exploding whale video?
Yes. Especially the exploding whale video.
Lotsa neat stuff here, Fish Tick!
I like the Fishing Boat Designs
Thanks!
I'm a little disappointed that nobody took exception to the camel husbandry link.
Hey, I know a guy in the FAO! Nothing to do with pheliphamts, though.
I heard ya, Chyren.
I like the expression on the face of the camel immediately under the heading "rutting" on that camel husbandry page.
Knowing how to dispose of an Elephant Carcass might come in handy following the Nov. 7 elections here in the US.
Pleg--you find that attractive, don't you?
Com'on, you're among friends here. Admit it.
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