September 18, 2006

Tranplanted penis rejected. By wife.
posted by kitfisto 18 years ago
  • hehehe. 10cm.. that's about 4 inches. Better than nowt. ;)
  • I really wish I hadn't read that.
  • You know, if my wife wanted my new cock cut back off after I'd endured merely a stump for a long time, I'd tell her to go fuck herself. After all, she should be in practice during the period I didn't have one. Also, I wonder what kind of accident caused the thing to be destroyed? I bet he was sticking it in the milking machines or something.
  • Monkeyfilter: Sticking it in the milking machines
  • I'm going to have to rethink being an organ donor...
  • Perhaps his wife recognised it. "...what kind of accident..." Hedgehog.
  • It said on the organ donor brochure that you will pass into the world beyond, but your penis will live on and on and on. I suppose that doesn't account for "bonding" with the wiener. Hey little guy! Welcome to your new home!
  • Y'know if you make it the subject of the FPP, it just doesn't have the same zing to it.
  • A MAN needed emergency surgery after having sex with a hedgehog on his witchdoctor's advice. Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, says he was told it would cure his premature ejaculation. "Sure, it'll cure your premature ejaculation..." (aside) "...by making sure you never ejaculate AT ALL!" *evil witch doctor laugh* Seriously, though, the FPP is heartbreaking. I can't imagine wanting to re-lose a restored body part, but I guess that's one of those things where you really can't imagine 'til you've been in his shoes. Or codpiece.
  • Maybe the wife didn't find the newest member of the family cuddleworthy?
  • Maybe she had something to do with the original accident. You know, like biting it off. Maybe this guy was a little, uh, unsophisticated in so far as when & how he introduced his desires, so to speak. "The [hedgehog] was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter." How small was that guy's cock? Like, you know most chicken fuckers kill the bird, right? A hedgehog is.. rather small. WTF? Maybe I shouldn't think too deeply about that. It already disturbs me that Pleggers was ready with the link to inject into the thread. Ahem. So quickly. So directly, as it were.
  • this is not how i envisioned starting my Monday.
  • Yes, Chy. I, too, find that quite disturbing. As do I find the idea that you KNOW the chicken dies, also. I believe this is something most Monkeys have no knowledge of or have never thought about. at least I HOPE so *looks around uneasily, clutches chicken, edges to the door MonkeyFilter: I really wish I hadn't read that.
  • * looks around, realizes comments only about chickens, breathes sigh of relief and pats "Gobbles", my pet turkey on the head *
  • I read about it in an article about a guy who had the crazy urge to fuck some other guy's chickens, & who got arrested. Plus, chicken fucking has been around a long time, & I have an interest in the bizarre. There was also that one John Waters movie.
  • WTF is wrong with you people?
  • fish tick! Welcome back!
  • Thanks!
  • "The [hedgehog] was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter." How small was that guy's cock? I suspect this was a case of attempted hedgehog sex. After all, the hedgehog cannot be buggered at all.
  • psychological factors were a serious issue for many patients receiving certain "allografts", or organs from donors.
    allo there! i'm your new penis!
  • You know, the news article really doesn't give much detail on activities participated in with the hedgehog. It's entirely possible that the hedgehog was doing all the penetration.
  • MonkeyFilter: clutches chicken, edges to the door
  • OK. That's it. You grossed ME out. Not easy to do, but you did it. /leaves thread
  • What difference is one more prick going to make to a hedgehog anyway?
  • What difference is one more prick going to make to a hedgehog anyway? *slaps knee*
  • *chokes*
  • *cajoles porcupine into thread*
  • My dear god.
  • dear god is right, the theological implications are--oh, you guys know the rest!
  • Please don't pork the pine.
  • To the subject: I'd rather have a borrowed johnson than none at all, even if it would be mostly non-functional. On the other hand who needs testicles when you don't want kids and your HMO will pay for hormone shots if you need 'em? (So is anybody hungry?)
  • she said, it just wouldn't do wot the old one did (my wife's likes to chatter when we're lying in bed) no, it's not the right shade and it doesn't wear a shawl it's aesthetically displeasing and it's far too small
  • Maybe he should have bought a Hummer instead?
  • Oh, Kitfisto, it hurts. It HURTS when I laugh! I'd rather have a borrowed johnson than none at all, even if it would be mostly non-functional. Might I interest you in a pair of neuticles?
  • My face hurts.
  • Just think of what on/off/on/off this poor man hurts.
  • On the other side of the surgical penii problems: Man with 10-year Erection May Not Get Cash. Subhead: "Judge dismaisses handyman's claim against maker of glitchy penis implant." Hehe. "Randyman" more like!