It makes a lot of sense that female stormtroopers would leave a huge swath of midriff exposed. And not wear helmets. Everyone knows women are invincible to blaster fire in those parts of their bodies.
Just like it makes sense for female warriors on battlefields in fantasy movies to wear bikinis whilst battling orcs and whatnot.
It's almost as though the guys who come up with this stuff are drooling cretins who just wanna gawk at Y-chromosome-less flesh.
IT'S JUST A MOVIE, SCARTY
(plus nobody *forced* those chicks to wear that shit)
forced. Geddit? ha ha
Um, I kind of assumed those ladies came up with that kit themselves. And well done to them.
Is it my imagination or does that dame in the top picture have some kind of navel fungus?
Or maybe it's a bruise from being punched in the gut with no body armor.
Many male fantasy characters run around semi-nude - Conan for example. Still. Hubba hubba.
(Would it be appropriate to link to Alisa Chan here?)
*says a prayer of thanks to Emperor Palpatine*
Dunno about those chastity belts.
I keep thinking of Woody Allen trying to pick Lynn Redgrave's lock with a pike.
Heh. Pick with a pike. Never noticed that before.
"You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it."
It's forward-thinking programs like this that made the Empire the number one merciless autocracy in the universe. Only when the more conservative wing succeeded in getting the Femtroopers relegated to KP and maintenance duties did the Emperor start to lose the hearts and minds of the outlying posts. A few visionaries (q.v. HUTT, JABBA THE) still understood the value of scantily clad females in high profile positions, but one amorphous blob on Tattooine could only do so much. It was the beginning of the end, as the more liberal and pantsless Ewoks and Wookies joined the rebellion.
If the FemTroopers had been allowed to grow and prosper, who knows how differet the history holos would play.
Pike, Capt.?
/Percocet-induced tangent
Nice post, bug-boy.
Thanks, laundry-girl.
Koko's not wearing her uniform.
Pike, perfect pike. (god I hate that poem)
I had a TNG uniform pattern once, but I ballsed up the piping and gave up.
Sweet goal in the first post Chy!
*starts chant, spills beer*
It's almost as though the guys who come up with this stuff are drooling cretins who just wanna gawk at Y-chromosome-less flesh.
Uhh, yah. I know I am, and I'm proud of it.
Given I bear a more that a passing resemblance to Pizza the Hutt, let's all be thankful I don't run about in public in my Conan costume.
Cos-play, like spandex, is a privilege not a right.
Please note the implication of running about in said costume in private.
I'm sure we had a thread about plastic tits before, and you people were all "no way baby your rack looks fine the way it is". Now you're jizzing your pants over it. I hope you hypocrites get nibbled to death by ewoks.
*whispers*
That's no boob.
Chyren - 1st post killed me. Most appropriate.
However, the subject matter... well, hells. Damn body armor isn't any good if it doesn't armor your body, is it? Wish folks would get this straight - fem warriors in full armor would still kick ass, right? Or do we need to imply that women are either (a) depending on their good looks to kill the enemy, or (b) too weak to carry full armor? Either way it's demeaning.
...and with that blanket dismissal of anything showing feminine flesh, I realize that I'm becomng an old person. Harrumph. Get off my lawn you goddamn kids.
*knocks on frogs's door and runs*
Nobody beats me on SW geekdom.
Ask Wedge when he gets clear. After all, he can't do any more good back there.
A femtroopers place is in the kitchen aboard the megamaid.
On the contrary, frogs, we're saying that women are so badass that they don't need all that bulky armor, nay, nor even all that restrictive clothing, in order to kick ass and avoid having their own curvaceous asses kicked in the process. Men are chunky and ugly and slow moving by comparison. The FemTroopers are the Hippolytas of the Empire.
Come on now. Those stormtroopers in the films wore all that armor and still one SINGLE shot from a blaster did them in. Why not go for a bare stomach?
Yea, but everyone knows the bad guys misfire when confronted with belly buttons.
Oops.
dang.
Come on now. Those stormtroopers in the films wore all that armor and still one SINGLE shot from a blaster did them in.
Or a broken branch to a helmeted head. Those Endorian hardwoods are a caution, belive you me.
/Chops head off in shame.
Oh and: "Sorry mouthbreathers, but you are not the losers we are looking for."
/Stuffs head down garbureator for good measure.
Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level!!
I feel compelled to state, and I say this with an enormous amount of reserve and after due consideration of the subject matter, and indeed with careful examination of the issues which have contributed not only to the result here but any impact that such practices may have on future events, and I state this categorically without equivocation or irony or any obfuscation or double meaning intended or indeed anything but the plain fact of the statement itself: yowza!
*waits for inevitable Speederbike Chicks*
Muteboy, that miss Chan is seriously lacking in Faye Valentine!
/seriously late
That's not a navel, that's a death beam aperture!
She has got some apertures where I would check my beam.
Heh heh. YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! YEAH!
As you can see, my young Femtrooper, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station penis!
It is at times like this that I wonder why the lady monkeys stick around this joint.
Ralph, I live for the antics of men.
But then, I'm not much of a lady.
Ya buncha pre-verts.
I remember one of the first Terry Pratchett books I ever read had this passage in it about a female warrior. And he had this long digression all about how she didn't wear a chainmail bikini, because that would be ridiculous, but very sensible shirt and trousers under basic boiled leather armor. I really liked that character.
Then I looked at the cover, and realised the artist had put her in a chainmail bikini. Argh. (I'm sure it was suposed to ironic, knowing the comic nature of the cover art, but it was still annoying.)
I remember reading in "The Art of Discworld" that Pratchett mentioned while he had a good relationship with the late Josh Kirby, the artist was always very adamant about what he painted for the covers. Any suggestions were politely accepted and ignored (words to that effect, canna remember the exact phrase now).
Enough with the Pratchett drivel! More Star Wars hot chicks!
...it'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home...
I hate to speak ill of the dead, but I never much cared for Kirby's covers. They were too much sometimes - suitable for some of the earlier, more wacky novels, but not really for some of the later. The current British ones are quite good - I like the references to famous images and works of art.
I said ENOUGH!
I'm not much bigger than two metres.
I may have got this confused, but I think I read somewhere that Pratchett was particularly underwhelmed by the Kirby cover for "The colour of Magic". You may remember that Twoflower actually looks like a typical tourist, but Pratchett describes his Bermuda shorts, camera, etc as they appear through Rincewind's uncomprehending eyes. Instead of saying he has glasses, he says he appears to have four eyes, and so on.
Kirby apparently rendered all this absolutely literally, so on the cover Twoflower really does have four eyes, his clothes are some strange medieval set of motley, and so on.
What was that, kit?
I've got a bad feeling about this...
Your Ma?
Your Bro?
Dear god save us all.
That top one's not bad...
*shutters*
On second look, Kitfisto, that's NOT a Helmeted Female Trooper after all!
PhotoShop!
Mind you, even if it's not, leave the helmet on and I still would...
seamless!
/b3ta
*tries to think of a punny name for Stormtrooper tranvestites*
Imperi-elles?
Stormtrannies?
"not the droids we were looking for"?
Bit of an aside to that -- my friend Waiwode had lunch "with" Michael York not too long ago. He's still quite giddy about it. A big, giddy drill sargeant.
End aside.
Jenny Agutter was also stellar in An American Werewolf in London. And naked.
Oh, sure, we're all accpeting of gender diversity. But what about the stormroopers of girth? The "little" stormtroopers? I don't see the Empire's mantua-makers lining up to craft custom armor for THEM.
SOG is a kickass band. I can only take them in small doses though.
TUM, it is my understanding that all the stormtroopers are clones of Boba Fett, which would mean that there would only be one size.
Correct me if I'm wrong, men.
Because we are men we should know about Star Wars! So sexist!
Yes it's true he is a clone
TUM, it is my understanding that all the stormtroopers are clones of Boba Fett, which would mean that there would only be one size.
So these Femtrooper broads are purporting to be likewise cloned?
Does Mr. Fett have a little secret?
I thought they were clones of his Pappy, Jango Fett.
Ah, that is probably more righter, TUMmy.
There could be mutations in the clones that would produce little troopers, though. Or, you know, incredibly tall ones. Or ones with an octopus for a hand.
That would be so cool.
Captain . . the level of nerdium gas in this thread is increasing . . .
Is Nerdium [Nr2+] an ignoble gas?
Put Star Wars and boobies in one thread, and you pretty much guarantee a nerdfest.
I thought they were clones of his Pappy, Jango Fett.
Uh.. DUH!? Yes, they are clones of Jango, who was then killed at the Battle of Geonosis by badass Jedi Master Mace Windu.
Actually, the clone troopers were clones of Jango (genetically modified to be more docile and subordinate), but it's unclear how many of the empire's stormtroopers were originally clones. They did have to keep recruiting. (There's a pretty decent comic series called "Empire" which has a look at who joins the empire and why.)
Gods, I've become such a SW dork..
I think Walkabout was the first nude Jenny Agutter flick. Just so you know.
I'm with scartol - clones may have formed the core of the stormtroopers, but there is plenty of evidence (admitedly only in the EU stuff, which cannot really be considered canonical - if that's a word) that mentions recruiting Empire-jealots across the galaxies.
Unfortunately, not enough of them are HOT CHICKS!!!11!!!!
That's 'zealots', folks, regardless of the actual spelling. I've been at a birthday party today so cannot drive, operate heavy machinery or spell.
*looks at how far away the "z" and "j" are on the keyboard*
Hmm.
Yeah, but if you're typing with your nose, you're equally as likely to hit one as the other.
who was then killed at the Battle of Geonosis by badass Jedi Master Mace Windu.
Badass? The guy who stood there and watched his friends get cut down by an old man, and then got his hand cut off by a whiney kid? Bah.
DON'T DISS THE WINDU!!!!
I'm still drinking, so back off. Although he could have been a bit more of a fucking challenge, if I'm honest...I don't know what to think anymore *goes to whatch Ep V again....*
Noboy kicked more ass in RotS than that damn puppet.
MonkeyFilter: Nibbled to death by ewoks.
MonkeyFilter: The Hippolytas of the Empire.
MonkeyFilter: Stellar in An American Werewolf in London. And naked.
DON'T DISS THE WINDU!!!!
Never. I love windaloo, especially vaapad windaloo, almost as much as mynock tikka masala or sarlac saag. Yum!
Due to Jenny Agutter's full-frontal nudity, film originally drew an "R" rating from the MPAA. It was reduced to "PG" on appeal.
And we wonder why kids are so terrible these days. It's because they're deprived of full-frontal Agutter, that's why.
*frantically searches ebay/half.com for dvd*
*weeps pathetically*
Noboy kicked more ass in RotS than that damn puppet.
If only he was a puppet. Then he would have been even more kick ass.
How is it that the rubber puppets look more real than CGI done to the nanopixel, anyway?
Puppets, man. Keepin' it real.
Renault that is why I preferred the Harry Potter take on things. When they could they went puppet.
How is it that the rubber puppets look more real than CGI done to the nanopixel, anyway?
The essence of your question hurts.
Is a CGI character not merely the ultimate in puppetry?
At one end of the spectrum, you have an old sock. At the other end, you have a cyberyoda.
Old sock wins, hands down.
There was a particular scene in RotS that looks straight out of a Playstation game. K-rap-hay.
Where's the hand-molded plastic space station models being shot up by automatic weapons?! Where's the Love George Lucas?!? Are you not the Darth Vader of your worst filmmaking fears?!
*cocks head and blinks eyes*
I truly, madly, deeply, sorely lerve you, baby.
Lucas can't write dialogue.
Which kind of wood do you suppose Hayden Christensen is made of? Teak? Maple? Balsa?
I don't know, but Lucas could have used Jim Henson to breath some life into him. Henson had a talent for sticking his hand up a lifeless dummy's ass.
I thought this thread was about boobs!
> Which kind of wood do you suppose Hayden Christensen is made of?
norwegian?
Boob.
Notice which definition they chose to be #1.
So Christensen and Lucas are both covered.
For this gal, anyway, the hawtness of a certain Mr. MacGregor made all three new films worthwhile.
The only thing still missing from these femtrooper uniforms are cool hats.
Old sock wins, hands down.
I agree, mainly I think b/c the old sock takes up real, solid 3-dimensional space in the same plane as the actors, and as such is, by definition, more real, even if it doesn't look as "realistic." It seems a paradox, but even if you had film of an actual actor against a blue screen transposed over another film of actual actors reacting to the actor who wasn't there when they actually shot the scene, that first actor wouldn't seem as "real" as, say, a Teddy Ruxpin they had blathering on in the foreground at the same time. As realistic as the CG stuff might look, it's still on a cell over the actual film. Right?
Labyrinth makes me cry, it's so wonderful.
You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
Ruth?
The babe with the powder.
What powder [sic] ?
The pig?
The powder of doo doo.
Who do?
Ewe doo.
That you do so well?
Doo what?
Remind me of Flavor Flav.
*dances magic dance*
Tenacious P, everyone.
How's about a round of applause?
*pants magic pants*
*motions to JP Morgan to hit gong*
Did someone say the chowder's ready?
Sir, may I advise against the lady eating the clam chowder?
in the kitchenaboard the megamaid.battle stationpenis!