August 11, 2006

No! No! No! Are you an overly protective parent, and want everyone else to know? Concerned that some other caregiver may give your precious offspring something they shouldn't have? Then this is the product for you!

Even though it's really for them - the teachers, daycare workers, and other parents who aren't you.

  • What about versions for Penicillin, cat fur, or diapers? And I'd pick up ones for Barney or the Disney Princesses in an instant.
  • Mercury free baby? So no Radio Ga Ga?
  • When do you wear the Mercury Free Baby shirt? Each visit to the peds to reject vaccines? In spite of the fact that they don't put mercury in them any more, and vaccines save lives and prevent nasty illnesses? Got to get a grip. Not my problem. Grrrrr.
  • Second baby post in two days. I'm just sayin'. *chk* *chk*
  • After staying up all night with a teething child, I would buy one that simply says, "Free kid."
  • They left one out ... Fun-free kid.
  • Style-free kid.
  • And some parents are radical parents that don't feel the need to advertise it with annoying t-shirts that seem rather close to prosteltyzing. This kind of nonsense gives those of us who are not-quite mainstream a bad name.
  • > After staying up all night with a teething child, I would buy one that simply says, "Free kid." ah yes. the mornings when dial a gypsy seems so inviting.
  • Mickey - this one is what you need. Might as well get something back. To whom it may concern. I, Northern Exposed, will not link to this site again, unless it really seems appropriate.
  • If I saw the sugar free kid one I think it would make me want to give them a pound of demerara and a spoon.
  • drivingmenuts wins
  • Advertising allergies are one thing (for instance, the child in the peanut shirt), but this sugar-free t-shirt thing has gone too far. Firstly, the kid would need to wear the shirt every day that he or she was in another's care in order to get the full effect. Secondly, the caregiver would probably give the kid sugar anyway, in defiance of the shirt. I've seen enough hidden video. These kids are still going to be living with Mommy in thirty years, and will by then be wearing their "sex-free adult" shirts.
  • If I saw the sugar free kid one I think it would make me want to give them a pound of demerara and a spoon. It would make me want to roast the kid over hickory coals to see just how a sugar-free kid's flesh tastes. I bet it needs a sauce.
  • Northern Exposed, I needed that laugh today. And that shirt, around 4 a.m.
  • Christ, if I was forced to go around advertising myself as "something something kid" I'd expect people to treat me like a complete MORON.
  • How about one that says future therapy patient?
  • My kids eat almost no sugar. They are not hyperactive kids. I would be upset if someone was giving them a lot of sugar when I am not around. Our society pumps kids full of way more sugar than we did when I was a kid. It is not healthy. It has significant behavioral and physical effects. I wouldn't have my kids wear one of those shirts, but I am sympathetic to the concerns behind them.
  • One of my kids has coeliac disease. That means she can't eat any grain product at all. She is learning to take responsibility for her own welfare, however, and does very well saying no to the parents of friends. Cereal is almost omnipresent in food, and the average person doesn't know what to look for in the list of ingredients. In other words, a t-shirt wouldn't help.
  • I wouldn't join any society that pumps kids full of sugar.
  • Which is stupid because sugar dosen't make kids hyper.
  • I started this t-shirt line primarily for my son, Zachary. He's a kid full of spunk and high-octane energy. He didn't have sugar until his first birthday, when he ate chocolate cake. It changed his personality and it was apparent that Zack had a super sensitivity to sugar. We have avoided sugar with him ever since and keep a sugar-free home, as much as possible. She gave her kid sugar. Once. And he was excited. On his birthday. So she never, ever gave him sugar again. This woman is completely and utterly batshit insane.
  • Which is stupid because sugar dosen't make kids hyper. True dat. My kids eat normal amounts of sugar (lots). One is a generally apathetic genius and the other is a perky super genius. Neither are hyper.
  • Though I think the jury is out on the hyper effects, our 2-year old gets extremely minimal amounts of sugar. What I've noticed is his craving for sweets is extremely low. He's been to birthday parties where he takes a few bites of the cake and forgets about it. It makes me think that consumption of sweets somehow programs the brain's rewards system to need ever-increasing amounts of it.
  • It looks like we have a partially lactose-intolerant one-year-old, but for the love of God I would never put her in one of those shirts. That's just lame.
  • One is a generally apathetic genius and the other is a perky super genius. OK -- I've gotta ask, in the name of scientific curiosity and potential mockery -- who do they take after?
  • My daughter is allergic to pineapple, so I told her never to go to Hawaii. Futhermore, she doesn't eat much sugar, even if you hold a gun to her head. Don't ask me how I know this. However, she can eat a barrel of those damned cheese fish crackers.
  • (And speaking of geniuses, I have to say that I am SHOCKED AND APPALLED that none of you commented at how clever my Freddie-Mercury joke was. For SHAME.)
  • who do they take after? I suspect they got it from the milkman.
  • Sorry Captain. We all thought that it was supposed to be in the Rock-Lullaby thread, and didn't want to embarrass you. Our bad.
  • Well, I'll let it go this time. *squints left eye watchfully*
  • Easy come, easy go.... little high, little low.
  • I suppose I can see the sense in a "peanut free kid" shirt (I'm allergic to nuts, myself) but as someone else pointed out, the shirt would have to be worn all the time to be of any use. The "TV-free kid" and "XBox-free kid" shirts, though... aren't these just banner ads for the proud-slash-sanctimonious parents? In which case, why not just take a regular shirt, and put bumper stickers on it?
  • Regular T-shirts are bumper stickers for humans.
  • Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening me!
  • Man this sort of behaviour is not helping the natural selection process at ALL.
  • Everything serves Natural Selection, gomi. These shirts ensure that the wearers will grow up and not get laid. You heard it here first.
  • What's up *munch* with those *munch* damn *munch* *munch* cheese crackers *munch*? Do they *munch* *munch* contain crack *munch* THE SPIDERS OH GOD THE SPIDERS *munch* as a secret ingredient *munch* ? It's like *munch* Stuart MacKenzie *munch* and the Colonel's *munch* Secret Recipe *munch* or something.
  • Dude, you've got orange dust around your nostrils. I won't ask how you got it in your navel. I think it's time for an intervention. Because we love you, and because we have nothing better to do.
  • I'll get the asprin . . and sucrets.
  • I wouldn't normally think much of these t-shirts myself, or the parenting style that goes along with them, but let me just mention a very recent experience that puts them in a new light. I was out to the farmer's market with my toddler niece and her family. Her mother had promised the niece a small bag of candy as a treat, so toddler got to choose a moderate assorted bag of sugary gummy-type candy. O...M...F...G. Her personality didn't change. She didn't become 'hyper' or unmanageable. But for the rest of the day every second word out of her mouth was 'candy'. I'm talking meth-head levels of obsession. It was freakin' scarey. Seriously disturbing even. Your average heroin-addict is less fixated than the niece was.
  • Where do I get a Zach and a Ruby? My womb feels warm looking at them.
  • Did you say candy?
  • I think some folk want food to be medicine. Oh, if my child never eats sugar the Gods of Carbohydrates will spare him/her from death! But sometimes it is just food. *grabs another slice of cherry pie*
  • Candy? Where's the candy? I'm only sort of kidding. As a grown adult who's been trying (with only moderate success) to kick that bastard candy out of my life... I don't know how we expect little kids to voluntarily refuse it. Part of me wishes we'd never discovered sugar production at all, and withered apples from the cellar were still what passed for a "special treat." (The other part of me thinks YOU'LL GET MY RED VINES WHEN YOU PRY 'EM FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!!!) (My rule of thumb is that it's safe to make an off-topic comment once the post is more than halfway down the front page. Yes/no?)
  • The sugar is nowhere near as bad as the high fructose corn syrup. That stuff is more addictive than cocaine, and it metabolizes far more quickly than cane sugar, leading to spikes in insulin production and more weight gain. And since the U.S. embargo on Cuban cane sugar, it's in everything here. If I had a kid, barring actual diagnosed food allergies and sensitivities, I think I'd be inclined to feed him healthily at home, establish good eating habits, and not worry so much about what he got when he was away from me.
  • bees, do you have enough to share with the rest of the thread? *watches pie-eating with drooling hunger*
  • Ew. I think some of Lara's drool got on my pie. Ah well. I suppose it will help me digest it better. *munch munch*
  • > I'm talking meth-head levels of obsession. my toddler goes to a drop-off center sometimes. normally, mrs roryk collects him and there's the usual amount of noise and fights and wailing and behaviour you'd expect with a room full of little people. one day she arrived to a room full of silent children, each sitting down quietly very preoccupied with something. chocolate cake: it was one kid's birthday. quietest room full of preschoolers ever: every child sitting with his/her little plate methodically stuffing cake into his/her mouth.
  • I remember reading somewhere that we're biologically wired for sugar. It's found in fruit, of course, which apparently we're supposed to be eating a lot of. All well and good, until this sugar drive goes off the rails - as illustration, the sociologist mentioned tribal people in Africa, who she'd witnessed going to "extraordinary lengths" to obtain honey from a beehive. I imagine if I lived in the middle of a grassland, I'd be willing to put up with some stings, too, if there was a plate of chocolate cake on the other side. Ow! Cake. Ow! Cake. Ow! Cake.
  • Hey, we're primates. We're wired to eat fruit, yes? I think the problem comes in the simple vs. complex sugars. My mom's a nutritionist, and she'd kill me for not having a better thought than that. When we were kids, we went for a long time on a no-sugar, no-food-additives (artificial colors, flavors, etc.) diet to rule out allergies. Then, of course, when we got braces we weren't allowed soda or candy or gum. It didn't kill us, but I do love sweets now. I wonder if it's because I spent so much of my childhood without them. I also wonder if the years we weren't allowed to watch TV have made me want it more in adult life as well. Or maybe that's just an excuse for sitting on my butt eating bonbons and watching Project Runway... nunia, it's like when a mama bird pre-digests the worm. Just makes life easier for you, is all.
  • *opens mouth wide and caws for pre-chewed bonbon*
  • Man, now I want some chocolate cake...
  • Grandma Mimi's Mashed Potato Chocolate Cake. Couldn't resist linking, since the recipe cards are so...cute.
  • Ooh, and the first recipe is for Bananna (sic) Cake! What a cool site, Lara! Truly the best of the web.
  • Me too, meredithea! My personal fave is Oma's Chocolate Cake recipe. So! Good!
  • The sugar is nowhere near as bad as the high fructose corn syrup. Which is why I'm searching for Kosher Coke.
  • Actually, it was only in the last 100+ years or so that refined sugar became the inevitable staple in our diet that it is. Before that in all of human history HONEY was the money crop for sweet. And, as it turns out, honey is more nutritious (some) than sugar (none) and production of honey is many many times more environmentally beneficial than sugar. *barks, shoots bees at Louis*
  • EPI PEN! EPI PEN!
  • Wow Louis, that Kosher Coke thing is faskinatin'. this guy says that Mexican Coke is also made with sugar. The Beverage Board is aflutter with talk about what makes it Kosher vs. Kosher-for-Passover as well as some unique rememberances to the Chicago area "CRC label" Jason Perlow's Blog has nifty pictures of what the cap looks like (don't look for it on the label eh, like they still put "corn syrup" on there even though it isn't eh) And, hey, if you've read this far, why not check out the informative and easy-to-read High Fructose Corn Syrup: Sugar on Crack? which includes the excellent point that Part of the reason corn syrup is less expensive than sugar is because the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s farm bill subsidizes corn growers to grow more corn than we need! Okay gotta go there's more caffiene to be had outta my way caffiene okay thanks mmmm caffiene bye
  • Too bad that subsidy can't go toward ethanol production...
  • HFCS is the latest scare of the day. In reality HFCS is almost identical to surose in its glucose to fructose ratio, and in its health effects.
  • In part two of Dr. Schorin’s series on HFCS "High Fructose Corn Syrups, Part 2: Health Effects," she concludes, "Given what we know about the metabolism of orally ingested sugars, it is difficult to identify a plausible physiological explanation for how approximately equal amounts of fructose and glucose should have differential effects when chemically bonded (such as in sucrose) or not (such as in HFCS). Thus, the current evidence does not support claims of a specific unique effect of HFCS on health." (23) So, the gluecose:fructose ratio is the same, but the chemical bondings are different. So, how important can chemical bondings be? According to hfcsfacts.com, no conclusions can be drawn as to the health effects of HFCS. (hfcsfacts.com was registered to: Corn Refiners Association 1701 Pennsylvania Avenue, #950 Washington, DC 20006)
  • Which is why I'm searching for Kosher Coke. What? No Mecca Cola? Oh, that's right. This isn't fructose-free. It's American-free.