August 10, 2006

• You know this to be true.
• I AM A PIRATE!
• YTMND ever? Anyhoo I is a Janissary.
• Watching this was like getting a lobotomy, in the best sense of the word.
• Hey, how did they know I was a pirate? Oh, better far to live and die, under the brave black... oh, nevermind.
• If one could customize that 'LOL, limewire' message, it would be perfect.
• Well, I enjoyed it, but I guarantee you've pissed off some people with the flashing and the volume and the humor and stuff.
• The flashing and the volume and the humor and stuff really pissed me off.
• Perhaps we should give him a scarlet letter
• R!
• Perhaps we should give him a scarlet letter Did Berek sleep with a clergyman and not tell us? You think he would tell us these things.
• Don't ask, don't tell.
• NO, no, I still want to join in with the fun and all, but everytime i do someone runs in, throws monkey poo at me, and accuses me of crimes that would have put the guys at Nuremberg to shame.
• LOL HITLER
• *runs in, throws poo at Berek*
• NO, no, I still want to join in with the fun and all, but everytime i do someone runs in, throws monkey poo at me, and accuses me of crimes that would have put the guys at Nuremberg to shame. Oh, for fuck's sake.
• You should see the size of my cutlass.
• Flashing and humor ALWAYS piss me off
• Volume too
• Well i've got some volume for you, some large volume. *grabs crotch, shakes vigorously in grovers direction*
• omg, you are fucking kidding me.
• What MoFi does: witty repartee What MoFi doesn't do: crotch-grabbing, shaking Make a note of this, Berek. Please.
• See above comment about about poo and Nuremberg.
• See rant in other thread about whining and the use of hyperbole as bullshit attention-whoring.
• Fuck it. I'm obviously too emotionally invested in what is, at the end of the day, just a website. I'm taking a break. See y'all soon.
• Get some breakfast. Works for me.
• I think that's enough Berek for a while. The signal-to-noise ratio is skewed way too far in the wrong direction, and it really bugs me when other people are mad enough to leave because someone else is apparently unable to take good advice. Berek, your account is locked. Contact me in a couple of weeks and I'll reconsider, but right now, it's not looking good.
• TBB.
• How unfortunate that an attention-seeking n00b can cause long-term members to feel unwelcome. I truly hope people can lurk awhile before starting to post and get a feel for the place first. Geez. /not an entirely unbiased opinion.
• Lurking before posting is standard procedure on any site like this. For instance, I lurked for a whole hour before I first posted. Some people just don't understand there are unwritten rules, but for those who need written rules, there is always the FAQ.
• oh my goodness LBB happened?
• Hey, I missed the threads where there were Berek issues. What happened in what thread?
• *sings* It was bannination, I know, And it could have ended right there at the start...
• What happened in what thread? Here's what happened, Mr Knicks. ACT 1 SCENE 1 Scene: A sand pit. TRACICLE and THE_BONE play therein (with pales and shovel). Enter a ne'er-do-well, BEREK. TRACICLE: Well met, stranger! Pray, come herein this pit of sweet sand and join our play. THE_BONE: Aye, accede to my fair sister's invitation, I beg thee. We long for company in our sport! BEREK: By the flocculent beard of Jupiter, I shall do so! For never has an invitation sounded sweeter to mine ears than this - and I praise the gentle lips from which these honeyed words of welcome flow'd! THE_BONE: Well said, gentle cousin! But, I pray, now do us further honour - choose the sport at which we'll play - wouldst build a castle, whose high ramparts and pinnacles are formed with sand? Or shall we play at nomads, in this tiny desert? Or some other occupation wouldst prefer? Speak, I implore thee! BEREK: No, I’ll not say – words shall not suffice, for I'll better a mere description, brother! TRACICLE: Then sir, if words are not preferred, act out thy sport! If ears cannot be our true instructors, let our eyes be our teachers! BEREK: I shall! The newcoming loosens his britches and squats amid the sand pit. Enter A TURD. THE_BONE: Oh, villian! Our eyes don't need to teach us how you play – our nostrils betray this infamy! Oh, I am undone! TRACICLE: Away with thee, foul sirrah! BEREK: Pah! Come, Turd, let's away - we'll have no comfort from such as these! TURD: My name is "kitfisto"! curtain
• I saw that on Broadway, where the turd was played by Nathan Lane. Brought the house down!
• *wild applause* BRAVO!! *snif* the kitfisto part always makes me cry . .
• Enter A TURD. *collapse* And the groundlings go wild.
• Shouldn't that be Exit A TURD? Because the way it's put, it sounds like Berek was anally raped by his own excrement. ?! That was one of the greatest posts I've ever read, quid
• Two thumbs up!
• ..and in fact, Mr. K, that is what happened.
• FREE BEREK!!! Of course I don't mean it. I just wanted to be the first to say it.
• I heard that in the original production they didn't use real sand for fear it would ruin the opulent costumes.
• Berek was anally raped by his own excrement? Sorry I had no idea. Did it smart much.. or smell at all?
• turd buggery? . . . A new low for any pirate thread. Bonus.
• I told you: a man who has a minor in women's studies is not to be trusted. It just REEKS of agenda. Well, maybe I didn't quite tell ya, but I know I made some sarcastic remarks about it, from which I expected you all to connect the dots. I can't do all the thinking around here!
• It's kind of upsetting to me that what started out as a would-be great thread regarding pirates had turned into something like this... I say we need another pirate thread. And quick.
• Quidnunc wrote Shakespeare's plays.
• You mean the good kind of upsetting, right Kaeldra? Or did you miss the play?
• But there are lots of good pirate threads about. Quidnunc couldn't have written Shakespeare's plays & sonnets - he was too busy trying to burrow through an elephant.
• Quidnunc wrote Shakespeare's plays. Nay, that he did not! They lie that say 'twas he!
• Holy shit Shakespeare. That's a long time to lurk. You must've been waiting for this opportunity a long time. I'm impressed.
• Huh! I tried to register the username "Fuck", so I could lurk, waiting for someone to say "fuck knows", upon which I would spring from the shadows to deny all knowledge of knowing, but that Tricycle guy wouldn't send me a password.
• When thou hast seen five centuries go by, Then may'st thou well lurk here as long as I. A year-and-half meseemeth but a day, For Time's like Thames, and runs too swift away.
• At least he didn't get himself Bard from the thread!
• I heard that Tricycle guy can banninate someone with just the power of his own mind. And a pair of needle-nose pliers.
• Shakespeare wrote Quidnunc's posts.
• Shee-it. Shakespeare wishes he were Quidnunc. Poser.
• With Turd under arm He walked toward the sun Finding true friendship His search it was done. The Turd it would tell him Of places its been And how he was glad That they'd become friends Their friendship it grew By leaps and bounds But the Turd became lonely With just Berek around Berek said to the Turd "Your sadness I'll end" "Lets find me some roughage" "And I'll make you a friend"
• So, ten bucks says Berek registers anew with a different user name. Perhaps Turd.
• No, it will be subtle, like Kereb. We'll never see him coming.
• Am I totally missing something? *grabs crotch, shakes vigorously in grovers direction* How is this tackiness entirely different from horse buggery, anal leakage in the Fens, and abusing Quid's corpse? It's not like some of the good ol' boys don't have potty mouths on occasion. I guess I just feel like Berek is a cheeky young monkey that needs a little smackdown not the bananananation. However, in this I bow to the MonkeyBashi.
• GramMa, don't forget some of the girls have potty mouths too (like you could forget!!) /returns to abusing quid's corpse!
• > Scene: A sand pit. best.comment.ever.
• Actually, I really didn't like the lack of warning on this link. I was listening to a really nice BBC proms concert, only to have the pirate song blasted at me. tracicle, might it be possible to put a video and audio warning on this link?
• Oh yeah, we didn't even get to hassle Skrik about the non-flash-warning-FPP *hassle* *hassle* And GramMa, while there's certainly nothing wrong with having a potty mouth, in thi-grphnhgl!! *phftth!* Medusa, please! *kaff, sputt* In this drama young master B seemed to be willfully unawares of when it fit the thread and when it didn't. Or so my complaint reads.
• I thought is was HTML. Moving HTML (well, it moved me).
• jb, you really shouldn't be reading mofi in the Royal Albert Hall. But nonetheless, I may not be the biggest wheel around here, but I think Berek was right to complain that there's a double standard being applied. He gets smacked down every time he fails to give a warning, as well he should. But the same should be true of longer-standing members as well. Rules that are useful should be evenly applied. A long time ago, I made a comment here that was not particularly well written and a bit difficult to understand. I got a really strong response from 'regulars' and that's made me reluctant, ever since, to post anything where I'm not confident I can extensively back up what I say. Berek and I are different people; hostility makes him combative, while it makes me overcautious. But I think it's a shame that new people or unknown people are treated with hostility at all. In my case it's taken away, from me, a certain degree of spontinaity, in his case it's chased him away from the community because other people are getting upset at their own hostility toward him. Yes, hostility is upsetting and damaging to all parties. I've seen jb getting really, stupidly, upset and reckless over her arguments here.* But there's a better way: gently correcting new people and welcoming them; posting non-hostile, neutrally worded, warnings where they're urgently needed; trying to look at things from the other chap's point of view and getting clarification for things you don't understand before responding; taking jokes and mock-anger in good humour and only taking offense where offense is intended. Sorry, I don't mean to get so lecture-y and patronising. It's just that, as somebody who mostly lurks here, the idea that less well known people need to be put in their place is, well, one of the reasons I mostly just lurk. (the others are overwork and inertia) *for people who don't know: jb and I are married
• I think I can define this a little more, if you'll entertain me. The MoFi regulars enjoy a certain camaraderie that allows them to be raunchy and rude and taunt each other without serious personal offense. There is a context for the behavior, and everyone involved understands it and plays along. Underneath the insults and lame jokes and violated corpses is a genuine warmth that everyone enjoys. Berek's behavior, however, is not within this context. His rudeness toward Grover was not intended to foster camaraderie; it was hostile and intended to cause offense. Granted, Berek has been berated for his behavior here, but not more so than anyone else who has stepped out of line. Furthermore, he has also been encouraged to continue contributing, because some of what he has brought to the table has been worthwhile. Yes, we punished him, but we welcomed him back to the flock as long as he agreed to play nice. What I'm seeing is a lashing-out and a "poor me" personality that doesn't fit well with the group. Berek is not a team player, and that is why he was banned. It wasn't because he broke the same rules others have, but because he continues to act only for his own self-satisfaction, and not for the benefit of the whole.
• You all owe me ten bucks. Enter Berek1
• I told you he would be subtle. The "1" would totally have thrown me off.
• Initially, I think Tracicle was right to timeout Berek rather than ban him altogether. He made a very poor first impression with some really stupid/annoying/offensive FPPs which got eeked, and some obnoxious commenting. After a thread which turned into a "pileon" by MoFi standards (more of a "polite reprimand" anywhere else) he did seem to be learning from past mistakes, and actually posted some good links and some comments that weren't obnoxious. However, he'd also got really defensive, which was kind of sad, since he was only sabotaging himself. If he'd actually abide by Tracicle's timeout, the two-week cooling off period might do everyone good. Since he's tried to create another account right away... well, que sera sera.
• I agree with everyone!!!! Seriously though, for the most part I didn't see why people were getting so irritated with most of Berek's comments. But the fact is that some were, and this was put to him in a more or less calm and reasonable way. He seemed to take the advice but then turned around and acted childishly again; I don't blame anyone for losing patience with him at this point. I lost my sympathy for him when he made the following comments: Well, I enjoyed it, but I guarantee you've pissed off some people with the flashing and the volume and the humor and stuff. [...] NO, no, I still want to join in with the fun and all, but everytime i do someone runs in, throws monkey poo at me, and accuses me of crimes that would have put the guys at Nuremberg to shame. ... not as reaction to anything said directly to him, but simply as a petulant lashing out. I don't feel they could be interpreted any other way, and they're completely unprovoked. I don't feel like he was a completely friendly presence from the beginning, and while his jokey comments weren't terribly offensive, they also smacked of someone laughing at us, not with us. This doesn't particularly bother me, unless he says something outright insulting or offensive, and I don't think he ever did. I can understand, however, why others were bothered by him. I think the time-out is a good idea, and I hope Berek wants to learn from it and become a more positive member of our community.
• unless he says something outright insulting or offensive, and I don't think he ever did People's Exhibit One: Berek: If you're still getting tattoos when you've got kids, you are one mixed up person who probably has no business being a parent.
• Exhibit B: this comment on the Rufus Estes cookbook thread; Exhibit C: this one on the Marwari horse thread.
• Oh yeah, those insulting and offensive things he said. Never mind.
• Dreadnought, I respect your opinion but I feel that Monkeys are normally quite welcoming to newcomers. Gentle chiding and broad hints usually precede any outright hostility except in cases like the recent "Women with Wine" thread were any and all abuse was quite justified. As far as Berek goes, I think that he is simply a troll and that he has been the source of much negativity here. While he is relatively new to MoFi (although at 4 months pleas of n00b ignorance begin to ring hollow) , he certainly isn't new to his game, if the Berek-related MetaTalk threads over on the blue are any indication. I love MoFi for its civil discourse and good humor, both of which are rare finds in on the internets and worth preserving.
• Well, I agree with BlueHorse, Dreadnought and Koko. I know Berek deserved better than he got here. It's detestable that Dreadnought's felt he has to curtail his natural impulse to speak because he's been made to feel unwelcome or been criticized by ignoramuses. Note: I'm not talking about Berek here, I'm talking about a much more invidious problem. It isn't Berek who bothers me. It's the way certain monkeys dogpiled on the guy every time he showed up that bothers me. And it bothers me a lot. We don't have to be like this. We can actually maintain a civil tone of discourse here; we've done it for years, barring a few interludes like this where monkeys - or some monkeys - show themselves to very poor advantage. While I'm on this whole broad topic of incivility and broadside condemnation, I much prefer seeing the dogpilers exiled for a period rather than newcomers never be given a square chance to show what they can and can't do in the way of posting here at MoFi. Shouldn't have to point out that at given time we have people with various problems and crises and chronic ailments and alcoholism and bipolar problems and so on commenting here -- bluntly some folk are not so great at reading subtlties as others. Who the hell gives any monkey the right to criticize others for not being a mind reader? [Shouldn't have to say this, either, but for the record what someone has or hasn't done in some other forum is none of our damn business. All we are concerned with here is what we do or don't do on MoFi.] And in any case, none of this asinine and pointless bickering should take place on MoFi threads. tracicle's blog, my blog in the sidebar, can be reached with a single click. Since even I can manage the registry process there, I would think anyone can. (I don't think for an instant think the_bone self-exiled for a time because of Berek, but because he, too, is getting fed up with the incessant bickering here. It's not amusing, and it's certainly not novel - this sort of atmosphere is the reason I never go other blogs and if I leave here it will be precisely because of the disagreeable and poisonous atmosphere which a few - and not the old-timers - seem intent on fostering here.)
• Ack!!
• I agree, Bees, that this conversation should be taking place on the MoFiBlog.
• Pallas, Exhibit C was insulting? GramMa? I've stood by watching the Berek quartered and tied and I have to say I agree with bees wholeheartedly but I had no way of expressing it nearly as succinctly. Thank you again, bees. islander, apparently this is a pirate thread—we've all been Shanghai'ed!
• well, I think bees makes some good points, but it seems to me that the problem wrt Berek was how he reacted to positive criticism/feedback as much as dogpiling. Tracicle gave him a lot of leeway, many people expressed a strong supportive feeling. I for one did not want him to be banned or driven off, I feel he could potentially be a great contributor but the way he dealt with attempts to keep things from becoming a train wreck were sort of immature and petulant. I hope he decides to come back, perhaps with a somewhat thicker skin...
• I'm going to comment re all this on tracicle's blog, the thread started August 8th, "A Quick Note on This Blog"; and I suggest the rest of you do so, too.
• *stamps his foot* … no fun if ye give us permission! Huh?
• Oh, I see it, never mind.
• Shouldn't that be Exit A TURD? Because the way it's put, it sounds like Berek was anally raped by his own excrement. Nope, the turd was entering the stage from, uh, backstage (so to speak). I'll agree with you on the brilliance of the comment, though... I feel so honored to have been immortalized in pseudo-iambic pentameter. I'm scribbling a longer comment which will appear on tracicle's blog shortly.
• we now return you to your regularly-scheduled Marwari thread. Please return your ears to their full, upright and locked position. Dang, Pallas, from the Marwari thread, I read that and cracked up all over again. Lessee. Exhibit B: In the cooking thread, Berek makes a comment about guys/cooking/testicles which sort of indicates a masculine background that perhaps isn't comfortable in the kitchen? Berek gets called, testicles then devolve into the standard MoFi joke fest, and Berek does NOT post again! Surely a troll would have kept prodding? Exhibit C-- Martijin commented: mmm nice, horsemeat, to which Pallas responded: mmm nice, trollmeat. I thought it was a funny exchange of comments, with the point going to Pallas since she played off Martinjin's comment. Berek's comment was YUM, dogfood!--to which I responded: Berek! Martjen! Into the doghouse with ye! We then proceeded to the usual japes and jingles: ME: I call my style Me on top, Horse on bottom, and if that gets reversed, things are NOT going well. If that gets reversed you have the makings of a truly excellent porno. posted by Berek at 09:40PM UTC on July 02, 2006 Snaffle bit or hackamore... ah, I love strange terminology. Monkeyfilter: Me on top, horse on bottom posted by Flagpole at 09:44PM UTC on July 02, 2006 ...and it finally comes back to horse buggery. It always comes back to horse buggery. posted by Lara at 11:20PM UTC on July 02, 2006 I just figgered it was more of the same teasing and oooking we always get. I guess knowing how things are misinterpreted on the web, I make the assumption that most interactions are positive. The comment about tattoos was kinda crappy, but then Berek did go on to explain why his reaction was so strong, and he even seemed to have reconsidered where he was coming from by the end of the dialogue. I think he's a bit heavy-handed at times, but hey, don't we all go a bit too far on occasion? *depantses Pete and runs
• *sigh* Ach! now see what ye've done, Horsie. Means I will have to Google in order to rediscover/ refresh/reinvent cut-and-copy skills (which are close to nil) to fit this aria into tracicle's blog. /and now I discvover this didn't post. Oh, well.
• 88 comments!3! I wish all my threads caused so much interest /head-in-sand
• I guess knowing how things are misinterpreted on the web, I make the assumption that most interactions are positive. GramMa's benevolence puts me to shame. I just assumed that anyone who'd say "YUM, dogfood" on a horse thread was posting to annoy and provoke, rather than to contribute anything. I agree that it's best to give people the benefit of the doubt, though, and I think the internet (and probably the world) would be a better place if more people reacted like BlueHorse. Handfuls of oats all round.
• Mmmmmm. oats.
• Hall and Oats. Hmmmmmm.
• Is there some special trick to tracicle's MoFiBlog thing? I can't seem to get my post to show up after I submit it.
• Your first comment in the MofiBlog is moderated, so our illustrious leader has to approve it before it shows up. At least I think that's how it works.
• They seem to take quite a while to show up, first or not, sometimes.
• Ah. Thanks guys. I thought I was having ID10T issues. MonkeyBashi: please delete the "sorry if this is a duplicate" posts. Thanks!
• All 87 of them?
• Just the first 45. The rest are pure genius and should be preserved for posterior.
• Er...posterity. Yeah.
• *attaches comments to lara's posterior with Scotch tape*
• i'd just like to note for the record that yes, i am so totally a pirate. arr.
• Yes, but I have a parrot. Two, in fact. Arrrrr.
• Oh, you kids!
• I'm emphatically not a pirate. Go ninjas!
• /twirls around in her tapey-comment skirt Lookit meeeeeeeeee!
• Oh, and pirates RAWK!
• Aren't wooden legs dreamy? *blink blink blink*
• Hey, baby, wanna hook ride?
• Don't you have some other attachment? Hooks are so cold.
• Well, there's my Hair Club for Pirates toupee, but it's ARRRRRRGHyle. Sorta scratchy.
• Who's up for a jolly roger?
• Oh I get it now. Sounds like Berek came over from mefi, where he has some kind of history. The monkeys that are mefites have a built-in dislike for him already, which leaves the monkeys who aren't mefites confused at the hate for him. Some of the stuff linked to does look like shitty things for him to have said. Other stuff linked to looks totally innoculous. That stuff may look worse if you are here from mefi; it may give you some contect of intent. Or, if you aren't a mefi reader, it looks like a projection on to him, instead just letting Berek be Berek, and take each comment in the context presented, rather than the context that it's this bad guy from mefi saying it. I was asking about the thread where Berek was a problem, because I knew there had to be more than what was in this thread. But now it sounds like his problem threads are over on mefi, not here, and other people are bringing those issues here.
• Mr.K - we didn't know about his past on MeFi till long after he'd he'd angered some of us here. See tracicle's blog for more discussion.
• Avast ye scurvy dogs! Ye be plunderin' the booty of the blue ship fer ammuntion? Yo ho, and arr! Man the jib and hard a port! We be takin' yer pants now, arr.
• Avast!! These here pants have been with me since Trafalgar, ye scurvy lubbers! Ye can have my pants when ye pry 'em from my cold, dead legs. Arrr.
• If that'n be the case then down te Davey Jones Lockarrr with ye! Yarr pants are the finest booty of all the seven seas!
• Who likes short shorts?
• Aye, the hot pants.
• A fine booty indeed! Har harrrr!
• There's many a scurvy seadog tried to remove these pants... they be all of 'em feedin' the fishes today, mateys. Except fer that Johnny Depp swab... he were easy on the eyes, so I buried him Christian-like.
• Belay that noodle-flickery me hearties! I know ye all are poxed by the loss of the booty, but take it from this old salt: dead men tell no tales of tail. If'n ye want shineys hangin' from yer head, it'll be a buck an ear, you blaggart.
• Yo ho ho and a bootie is bum, Shiver me timbers til I'm sated with rum. Thirty thousand men love Medusa's chest But the only lad who's seen it is Pete the Best.
• so it's slander when it's spoken and libel when it's written, right? /calls lawyer ;)
• Speak, Pete, Speak!
• Ye'll nay drag it from my Medusarita-soaked lips fer less than 30 silver! 15 copper, shippin' & handlin'! Quit pushin' ye scurvies!
• /prepares the keelhaulator
• I hear that the pi rate these days is still $3.14 a slice.
• /collapse nee swoon
• so it's slander when it's spoken and libel when it's written, right? But first you have to prove it isn't true, Sweetypants. Boy, Petey really likes those geeky girls.
• And the geek girls like our Pete!
• Oh g'wan! *makes regular cash deposit to GramMa's bank account*
• arr! petebest'll never git his dirty hooks on the treasures in my chest o' booty....arrr!
• *makes regular cash deposit to GramMa's bank account* Just watch it, buster. You may call it a "regular cash deposit", but in polite society, it's known as something else.
• Maybe if we ask her nicely, Lara will install a tissue dispenser in the ATM.
• arr, ye have 20 pieces of eight left in thine trove, matey!
• Dead men tail no tellers...
• Avast!
• A vast what? Does my bum look big in this?
• arr, err, nay!
• is that a wooden leg, or are you just glad to see me?
• Yes.