the implications for workplace deproductivity and general mayhemitation are staggering.
I'll motivate ya.
Get offa the internet and get back to work, or I'll kick yer arse!
How's that fer yer motivation?
medium. My innate fear of you is tempered by the distance you'd have to close to get those boots anywhere near my arse.
Cheers!
This is the third or fourth different Motivational Poster Generator I have found on the Web, so here are a couple I did previously:
Hehe nice MCT - Tanmaster Hamilton makes it exceptionally classy.
Squeegee required in aisle 7!
Nice one, Ralph. You fucker.
I think I might just keep on going all night.
Posting, that is, not sheep shagging.
No Way - Tom Jones is a Sir?
Hey, I always called 'im "Sir."
Tease!
but It's Not Unusual . . .
*looks for voting click box*
*seeing none, clicks randomly*
Ya know, I am wasting a good deal of my bosses time and money on these posts, and I don't want it wasted on Anal Leakage.
I was outside and this beetle was on the ground. This dude bird flew down and snatched him up. then these two chick birds flew over and they wanted a bite. And dude bird was like "You bitches are always jonesing my beetles" and flew off with said beetle. Chick birds were left standing there rather despondent.
What?
*elbows pete, points at glama*
Brainal leakage.
I retract your last comment.
I love the beetles - yeah yeah yeah!
Hee!
(Can anyone tell me how to do an inline link from flickr?)
Scheezus, that's a good-looking bunch...
That laptop says Gucci and Apple. Whoever did that is trying to destroy our planet, and challenge my sanity and my loins.
Why are rhino arses not safe for work? You are some weird pervos!
What would your boss say if he walked by and saw that on your screen, Skrik?
Or is rhino projectile-pooping considered acceptable web content and no one told me?
Is that orang giving us the finger? Twice?
What would your boss say if he walked by and saw that on your screen
'Oh, you finally could open up that document I sent you... thanks!'
Actually, she'd bite her lip and let it pass, perhaps.
Here's the one Space Kitty did.
looks like a commercial for Apple's Gucci line of computers.
the "i-Spenttoomuchmoneyonthiscomputer"
*note to all the Gucci/Apple computer fans*
It's the work of our one and only sexyrobot. For those who haven't, you should see his art car!
My boss would ask what it was about, listen to the explanation, chuckle a little, then turn around and walk back to his office.
*sigh*
...walk back into his office and spend the rest of the day making his own (probably nsfw) posters.
WTF?!
Exactly.
Berek, it looks like you posted that pic very, um...successfully.
They edit posts to establish internet powers.
I didn't edit any posts, and you obviously haven't noticed that when I do remove an image, I mention it. When I loaded this thread last night it stalled on loading a flickr image which I assume was Berek's, so maybe you should take your complaint to them.
*wonders what was at http://flagrantdisregard.com/flickr/output/motivator6662129.jpg*
*realizes Berek tried to direct link to the picture when it clearly says*
Please do not link directly to this image.
HAHA you got Pwnt by the tubes!
AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorrrrrrry Tra.
I'm confused?!
So, you can't link directly to the poster you make but must download it, or something?
Yu have to save it somewhere else online. I use Photobucket, which are adequate for this kind of thing.
LBGJ
I have ten words to share with you Skrik, and as soon as I roll a 17 on my 20d I can let you know what they are.
*applauds*
That sir was inspired! It was a long bumpy road, but you finally made it.
*wipes tear away*
YOU, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE, HE IS A TROOPER!
Mark it. Another nice thread is toast.
I like how (comparatively) dignified the black background makes everything look.
It even works for this guy, who must be either Wolverine or a really irritated Alex Trebek.
welcome abord, f engineer!
Thanks!
*high fives f_e for teh awesome Wolverine cover*
Store across the street from my house wants twenty bucks for that issue
Hey, as long as there's demand for motivational posters made from comic book art . . .
Wish I could say I had these all on paper, since I wouldn't mind having the money for that Wolverine cover. Oh well - I guess I'll settle for making a few posters.
Okay - one more of these, and then I'm done.
There we go.
Jesus Fuck!
What the hell is wrong with you?!
What's wrong with me?! Nothings wrong with me! Can't you hear the poetry thumping in me?! THUMP, THUMP, THUMP
That thumping noise is his common sense trying to claw its way out.
Please, no more nasty clowns. They're terrifying. Thank you.
Berek, you're scaring the infant primates.
me, too, just a little
Please, think of the primates.
I think of the infant primates everytime I masturbate. Oh, wait, that's a different thread.
Dear Berek, I post this on Chy's behalf, and I think I speak for quite a few monkeys.
Shine the file up?
Man, I am so bad at this.
*golf clap for fish tick*
UM, what file do you want shined?
Please, please, Berek: note that every thread here isn't automatically improved by you commenting in it, alright? I expect you're enjoying having found a motherlode of witty folk and fascinating topics, but for everybody's sake, please don't feel obliged to mark your territory in every damn thread. Thank you.
Alright, now I feel like I've been mean. That was not my intention, Berek. But I know for sure that things have changed since you've been visiting, and I have seen long-time monkeys almost bite their tongues clean through trying not to ask you to settle down a bit. It's just that in general most monkeys try not to comment unless they think their comment will positively affect a particular thread. So repeated "bear buggery" remarks, for example, might not be seen as necessarily a positive contribution to a thread. Perhaps you can think of other examples. Just saying.
Well, have you ever considered just ignoring the comments you don't like? Considering the fact that there are several threads going now that consist of monkeys exchanging witty bonmots I don't agree that you've got a point. I, and apparently a lot of other people, enjoy those exchanges. In the case of this thread, we have a post with no serious point to it at all, so I definently don't see how comments that are, in theory, witty can be considered a detriment to the thread.
Once again, why is so tough to ignore comments and posts that you don't like? You accuse me of some sort of horrible crime against humanity for posting in any old thread. Is that any worse then you posting in a thread just for the purpose of flinging poo and making personal insults?
The reason many of us like monkeyfilter is that it's not as uptight as meta. It seems as though there are people on here bound and determined to change that, however.
In closing...........horse buggery....
major HORSE BUGGERY
It's hard to ignore when someone at the party keeps shitting in the middle of the living room.
People shouldn't be expected to ignore comments they don't like, not when comments they're supposed to ignore are scattered throughout the site.
It feels to me like attention-seeking, pure and simple. There's obviously a fine line between playing around and going too far, and in the odd thread lately I think you may have gone too far. The clown posters are a good example -- and very difficult to ignore.
UM, why were the clown posters so much worse then any of the other posters in this thread? I guess I have a very strange sense of humor but I find the whole evil clown thing to be amusing.
Especially when you look at the brains poster just above the last clown.
Sometimes it pays not to share your sense of humour, particular when the reception is lukewarm at best. I used the clown posters as an example, but there are other threads where you've obviously seen that people have reacted badly to your comments.
How about taking those comments as constructive criticism (cursing notwithstanding) and actually working on your posting habits, instead of filling up thread after thread with reasons why you're right and everyone else is wrong?
I don't believe that I've done that. I also don't think I'm necessarily any worse then some others. It does seem as though there are a few people who have decided that no matter what I post, they will find fault with it. And once again this particuliar thread is not a serious one. To accusse me of some horrible crime because I posted odd humor in it, does seem a might unfair.
Also, excepting yourself, I have seen little or no constructive criticism from others. I do feel that I have taken somewhat of a high road in not resulting to personal insults towards the people who continually level them at me, no matter what I post. These people seem to think that if they don't like something that makes it okay.
Having said all that....I will try to be more careful and measured in my posts. If a thread already has a running pun/joke/bon mott line goin I will assume that it is okay to join in. No matter what I do, there are people on here who have already decided that they will find fault with it.
In the past on MoFi, there have been members who have toned down their approach to other members to make discussion easier without angry confrontations, especially in political threads. I hope you can do the same -- figure out where you've annoyed people and work on that. No more evil clowns would be a good start, I think.
I'll be keeping an eye on your comments and I dare say I'll hear any further complaints by others and follow up on them. Call it probation.
Berek, old chum, I don't know much, and that's a fact. But I do know a little about making friends on MoFi, and about posting comments that are funny. That I hope are funny anyway. Well, they're funny to me, and that's all that matters. If you're amusing yourself, that's half the battle, right? So I'll tell you this: Less is more. Sometimes less is less, to the point that no one notices it, but usually it's more. Sometimes more is more, but only if it's so much more that it goes all the way through being unfunny and back out to funny again. But that's rare. Sometimes four is five, but only on Star Trek TNG. Sometimes bad is good, like killing a man because he looked at you sideways, because he obviously had it in for you, right? I mean, better him than you, am I right? Damn straight I'm right. Lemme get you another drink. Don't gimme that "I have to work tomorrow" shit, you're staying right here and finishing this drink. What kind of a friend are you anyway, leaving me all alone in this godforsaken hellhole?! That's the thanks I get for saving your life! That's what I call friendship! That's what I call gratitude! I am not shouting! Don't look at me like that!!
(constructive criticism ON)
Especially when you look at the brains poster just above the last clown.
You're comparing a comic-book villain image with that of a clown with a pentagram carved into his face, and a vaguely disturbing non sequitur in the image to boot. I don't think that's an appropriate comparison.
The reason many of us like monkeyfilter is that it's not as uptight as meta. It seems as though there are people on here bound and determined to change that, however.
However, MonkeyFilter is not as loose and random as metachat (well, not on its best days, anyway). I get more irritated than most at complete derails, as I think they contribute to an in-jokey and cliqueish atmosphere, but I've learned to live with them.
But when all I see are derails and personality conflicts, that's a concern. The very first comment in fighting_engineer's (excellent) post, while it ended up on-topic, started out with a petulant declaration that was bound to lead to a derail (and it did). Hell, there were several comments in various threads this morning with that whole passive-aggressive, "well excuse me for livin'" vibe, and just in case it's not clear, people tend to see stuff like that as the worst kind of attention-whoring.
I know you're capable of being a good community member; this Curious George answer, for instance, was fine. The problem in that thread was that your first answer was inappropriate and unhelpful... not so much because of the specific content, but because it was an unnnecessary and borderline offensive answer to someone who was seeking advice on a major life issue from the community, and at the beginning of the thread no less.
I guess my advice would be: Don't assume that the default response mode here is "crack a joke." Lay off the non sequiturs; if no one in the community is gonna "get it," then posting it is not a positive contribution to the community. Consider lurking for a bit while you continue to get a feel for the site.
God love ya, Koko.
You guys are awesome. Hooray for useful comments!
But now Koko has to explain why four is five on TNG and ruin the funny.
Famous "Picard is tortured" episode.
thanks, that was bugging me as well
Where other sites' threads degenerate into sex-crazed chaos, here at Monkeyfilter, our threads generally decay to nerd-crazed chaos.
I feel so dirty.
Did Picard have his shirt off in that one? I forget. 'Cause if he did, I'm going to have to go watch it...
My only constructive criticism is that I think you're a great guy, Berek. And it's true that every individual in a community has something unique to contribute. But by the same token, you have to fit into that community, too. I lurked here for a while, just to get the "vibe" of the place.
Also, I need another Margarita.
I do believe he is shirtless in that one.
Lara, let me get you a rainbow-colored Medusarita---on the house, baby!
Hate to do this but:
Monkeyfilter: Where other sites' threads degenerate into sex-crazed chaos, our threads generally decay to nerd-crazed chaos.
...and just because:
I'm frightened of the rainbow Medusaritas. Can I just have a neon pink one?
OK, I'm most of the way into a bottle of wine, but Lara, that killed me.
I was a lot of the way through a bottle of tequila when I made it! I think you have to be tipsy to appreciate it.
Oh, and SKAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
yes, the kitten...it makes me feel...um, helpless...enslaved to cute...can I put it in my mouth? just for a little while??
/squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I'll be it tastes like marshmallows!
be=bet
Oh, da wiwwy biddy baby kitteee wiv him widdy stwipey mask an' him pink nosey-nose-nose-nose an' him widdy-biddy thread whiskers caught in him Mamma's fur... I think... I think I'm gonna...
S Q U E E E E E E E E E !
I need another drink, and an antihistamine! Squeeeeeeee!
Ha! Ha! Ha! My six-year old daughter just happened to be walking by when I had that on my screen. She practically melted to the floor and is now BEGGING me to get her one of those!!
Thanks, tracicle. Thanks alot.
She begged you to get her Tom Jones?
Wait in line, kiddo...
Oh, that kitten is too adorable*.
*too adorable for me to avoid making this vaguely frightening poster, that is.
Ew. Tom Jones is all rugose.
*hugs sfred tightly for making a poster from the nerdly quote*
Lara!
Leave my ass outta this!!
#2 asked me to read him the caption, and then I had to explain that the panda, that particular panda, is called The Duke of Squee. On MoFi. That's...his MonkeyFilter name. And now he's sort of shuffled away from me on the couch.
'Tain't always easy to live with persons of great good sense and practical disposition.
Must admit MoFi's babytalk tendency, (which I had formerly hoped vanished with the writings of John Taintor Foote, A.A. Milne, that fascinating author, Rudyard Kipling, and Betty Boop), turns my stomach about 180 degrees much of the time.
However, it seems many monkeys experience pleasure in playfulness executed in this ... nursery ... vein.
And anyway, what do I, a maundering in stroll, really fathom of the mysteries of humour or the burgeonings of squee in the simian heart?
Bees, I derive much enjoyment from the oogly-boo squee talk--especially when I think of these goof-balls typing that on their 'puters just knowing they'd die if the meatspace people could see them.
And I find it's extremely silly, but somewhat catching.
What really makes me gag is people that baby-talk a 1000+ pound horse! And I am NOT that horse's "mommy"--do NOT call me that on pain of evisceration.
And I may act like a bitch on occasion, but I am not my dog's mother, either!
My sister calls her horses her babies: all purebred Clydesdales. She talks about them like they are her children -- all the cute things they do and noises they make -- and she seems to be satisfied with that.
Chapter Twenty-Three: In which, dear reader, the awareness is slowly borne in upon the knitted and deficient wits of beeswacky that he's been keeping company with pre-verse degenerates and would-be horse-bogarts for far too long.
" 'Tis perfectly possible to sweet-talk a horse ... or a dachshund ... or a monkey ... without the utterance of such infantile prattle as one is forced to stomach in this and other squee-riddled threads," he pinted out with his roan whiskers dangling in his beer and his customary eland now extending its weedy limbs in full galumph as they hastily decampedcantered away.
The bee is da squeeeeeeeee!!!
Look ad 'is widdle gwumpy face!
*pinches cheeks*
da kootsie wootsie widdle bee, all fuzzy and fulla squeeeee :D
*shivers*
This thread is starting to give me the willies like watching the cult of Todd.
The sounds thats go off in my brain when I read this are amazing.
It's some kind of chamical reaction I have to kittens and puppies and baby-waby pandases. My voice involuntarily pops up an octave and I'm unable to pronounce the letters "r" and "l." Somehow this translates into typing, as well.
Affects your spelling, too, dunnit?
chamical?
Comical for the rest of us, indeed!
I want to kill this squee, but I feel there would be a revolt, and I would be pelted with plushies or hello kitty's or something.
*interposes a glowering self between the squeeing masses and glama*
Let them revolt, milord. We shall stand fast under their peltitation. Decutify, squeeniks!
"Chamical" refers to a combination of "Chemical" and "Champagne." In other words, the baby kittenses and puppy-wups induce a state not unlike tipsiness.
Or should I have gone for the "Chemical" + "Charlie Chaplin" cover-up?
The real question of this thread is (and, yes, every thread has a real question) what kind of smokin' camera is that you're wielding there, the_bone? The pics it turns out look so warm and comfortable.
and it also doesn't hurt that the people in the pictures are attractive
Heh. Those pics were taken by DaShiv (of MetaFilter) at this meetup. I'm not sure what kind of camera he uses, but he's got nice gear and a great eye for candid shots. My own camera is an old Nikon Coolpix that is due to be replaced the moment I'm out of debt.
Ooooh, Mamma wuv her widdy puppeeeees! 'Specially the one on him widdy back wiv him widdy stubby wegs in de air!
What.
The.
Fuck.
Glammajamma?
Does that count as being in the Uncanny Valley?
I just imagine her/it whispering in doggy/human "please kill me......and my sweet little abominations too"
Yeah, and imagine what had to mate with her to produce those pups.
*looks suspiciously at glama*
Great now I am picturing that thing mate.
Thanks
Thanks alot.
I have it on good authority that Patricia Piccini mates with Stephen Mayne.
Monkeyfilter: the burgeonings of squee in the simian heart
And let it be known here and now that if anyone else disparages Hello Kitty, I shall be forced to toss a Chococat bowling ball at said simian!
I saw some beautiful chinoiserie satin fabric at the discount fabric store sunday, with hello kitty on it. I took a pic with my new phone, so when/if I figure out how to put that in my computer I'll link it...
My talented mama made me a sweet bag out of some of that Hello Kitty satin, black with HK in red and pink kimonos with a gorgeous raspberry-sherbet colored satin lining. People stop me on the street and want to know where to get one.
And then I tell them they have to have a bag-designing mama, and to get their grubby mitts offa mine.
Bag, that is. Not mama.
I have it on good authority that Patricia Piccini mates with Stephen Mayne.
Actually that is categorically untrue and I utterly rescind it.
And let it be known here and now that if anyone else disparages Hello Kitty, I shall be forced to toss a Chococat bowling ball at said simian!*ahem*.
Yikes!
*head spins*
But I love Kitty.
But...I hate that.
But I love Kitty.
I'm gonna go lie down now.
Maybe Kitty will exert some of her good, sweet, kind influence over Ms. Hilton?
campedcantered away.