July 26, 2006

Carrie: The Musical! In 1988, via a stunning convergence of bad ideas and money, producers attempted to reproduce the success of Steven King's novel (and the film adaptation) in a sprawling, $8 million Broadway style musical.

(Youtube warning from here on out:) The first act featured an aerobicizing chorus line as a High School gym class and a stirring duet between Carrie and her mother, wherein the young girl pleads: Momma,what is this seed? Don't you care that I started to bleed? Momma, I was so scared And they all stared. I thought I was dying I started crying. Momma! Please don't hurt me! Later, acrobatic rejects from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" video star as the popular kids plotting to Kill! Kill! Kill a pig! for insidious purposes, the Prom is performed ala Solid Gold and, of course, the story reaches its disasterous climax when Carrie destroys everything and everyone with laser beams. Critical reaction was swift and merciless. Carrie: the Musical closed after only five performances, and the musical stage has been safe from inappropriately adapted books ever since.

posted by Nickdanger 18 years ago
  • Yes indeed, completely safe... ever since.
  • We need a hook! We need a eye-catcher!
  • this is no weirder than Fashionistas the musical (why yes, based on a hardcore BDSM porn film starring Rocco Siffredi and Belladonna--NSFW!!!), which I just missed my opportunity to see in Vegas, quelle domage!
  • It's even become a bit of Broadway legend in its own right, as evidenced by the title of this book my brother was reading when I saw him a few months ago: Not Since Carrie...: 40 Years of Broadway Musical Flops. Of course, to a straight man like me, it was pretty dry reading, but my brother liked it a lot, and some of them transcended my lack of knowledge with their awfulness. But yeah, Carrie is apparently the bad-bomb.
  • Hey! Can't a guy enjoy historically awful Broadway musicals without having his sexuality called into question?
  • No, you misunderstand. I am the straight man...the Bud Abbott to my brother's Lou Costello. Except in this case, Bud Abbott is teh ghey. "Who's on third?" "Meeeeeeee!" *grope* ;)
  • Well, just as long as no one's questioning anything...
  • I'd prefer to see them stage this one based on Silence of The Lambs. Or the Robocop one!
  • Whoah Nickdanger plays for the other team? Who knew?
  • I actually really dig the "Kill a Pig!" music. But for horror musicals, you can't beat Sweeney Todd. And since it's bound to come up sooner or later: The Evil Dead. Seriously.
  • Wow. Nickdanger gay. What a surprise.
  • No matter the team, I always get picked last. /mope
  • I'm sure there's some fine, young lady 'round here that can lure Mr. Danger back to the dark side. Else he might wind up with the likes of an ex-boyband member.
  • Wow that's a fast moving meme. I mean - Nickdanger - gay! Wow.
  • Nickdanger is from Austin, there are no admitted homosexuals in Texas, THATS A FACT! I think they build each house with an extra closet, just for this reason. Being from Austin though, me wonder is the pillowbiter has seen Okkervil River because TEH DA BOMB!
  • I cannot believe that Nick favors the windward passage!
  • I'd answer these accusations with a witty retort, only I'm too busy attempting to bang Berek.
  • Ban! Of course, I mean BAN Berek!
  • Monkeyfilter: Let's Bang Berek
  • Mr. Danger, I salute you and your heroic display of sexual honesty. Now, just please don't stand so close, and do wash your hands. Often
  • and, by the way, who knew that Lou Costello was gay? Too much news!
  • LBgB!
  • Oh wow, Medusa, I wish you could report back to us about a musical with (nsfw, people) promo shots like this and this.
  • mandyman, I really wanted to go see it, but we were in vegas visiting with my parents, to whom I felt it might be difficult to explain "so we're going to a musical based on a hardcore BDSM porno flick and you CANNOT come with us!!!"