June 12, 2006
It's an Alligator, LOL
- A 6 foot-long alligator pounded on a South Carolina retired couple's front door and started scaling (uhuh huh huhn gedit?) the wall, all because of Mrs Roslyn Loretta's supernaturally good teriyaki chicken. Or something.
"It looked like he was going to ring the doorbell," said Mrs Loretta, who blames her delicious barbecued delights for the unexpected visit.
In other weird animal news...
A monkey, drunk out of it's brain on beer, in India. (with Flash-style video). Yes, it's definitely a monkey, drinking beer.
Man, that monkey looks smashed. Even got bags under its eyes. I dread to think of its liver.
In yet more Indian animal bizarrity, Assam plans to cash-in on the annual mass bird-suicide in the village of Jatinga. Nobody knows why the migratory birds kill themselves en masse, but I suspect it is the lack of Mrs Loretta's teriyaki chicken. That, or the villagers beating them with large sticks, it's a toss-up, really.
Alligator & Agapanthas.
well, I don't feel so hungry
any more
there's an alligator pounding
on our front door
at this time of year these beasts
go wacky
they invite themselves to sample my chicken
teriyaki
so I'm changing our menu
temporarily
to red beans and rice
washed down with iced tea
*knock knock*
- Yes, who is it?
Mrs. Arfadhle?
(buh-nuh....BUH-nuh...)
- Who?
*pause*
Mrs. Cumbermdm?
(Buh-nUH....Buh dum dum dum)
- Who? What do you want?
Pizza
- I didn’t order a pizza.
...Flowers ma’am.
(DUM DUM DUM DUM!)
-Oh, how sweet!
*opens door*
- Arrgh!
(DUM DUM DEE!)
Plumber, ma'am.
You'd think those folks would all get a gate or smumpthin'
I gather it is in one of those little retirement villages, so maybe they don't have walls around individual properties.
But, crikey, what a location? They put the oldies near the crocs? Subtext aint so great.
One understands that SUN CITY HILTON HEAD is near the location of a "Naturist's Association" private vacation leisure park. Alligator food, pre-peeled and marinated in the finest of oils.
"Hilton Head." Heh heh.
Oh, so it wasn't the teriyaki the gator smelled.
Oh my! That sweet lil'ol'gator done make my heart a quivah.
heheh
OK.
OK.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Hello, do you need a new pair of shoes, a belt and a handbag? I'm here to hel...AIGH!!!!"
Candygram
Chyren - that picture was great.
Yes it was. All my pikchurs are great!!!
GATOR!!!!!
All my pikchurs are GATOR!!!!!!
teh gay-tor
came
he rang
teh bell
drawn by
teh irresistible
smell
wot's that
he's left
on our
front stoop?
my dear
it resembles
teh alligator
poop
And now my southern belle be rung
The chicken dish's song be sung
I'm on a romp
The time is chomp
She'll soon be alligator dung!
sort of a pirate alligator, it seems. But it's not like that's gay or anything. Not that there's anything chomp with that.
Woo-hoo petebest and beeswacky!
Crocodiles
A crodile dont hunt
Him's victims
They hunts him
All he do is
Open he jaws
- Ishmeal Reed
A swamp-bird is fussy
And stands all a-perch
On one leg, thusly
With a red-and-white hairdo
As the summer's sun blares through
The twitch on the hunt
For a minnow . . .
*CHOMP!*
go, corkendrill
from my door sill
hang out
down the street
where other chefs
cook meat
Perhaps you'd care to see a spoonbill,
Or an osprey or just an egret
But our friend the 'gator
Chomps 'em, 'e will,
With an cold-blooded lack of regret
"The take home message is not to jump on the back of a gator."
o please
gator says
I gotta eat
though I doubt
he catches
many ospreys
catching
someone's dog
would be no feat
[dogs often seem obtuse about scenting reptiles and amphibians or even grasping such critters are alive]
It's because of their domestication and subsequent exposure to handbags.
A HANDBAAAAG??? </BRACKNELL>
That's not a handbag, that's a full set of luggage with an attitude!
... it's a full set of teeth with an appetite!
Video of crazy Taiwanese man brushing crocodiles' teeth while they act kinda cute.
Cute does NOT equal crocodile.
I think they're adorable. The big ol' croc is obviously enjoying his toilet-brush scrubbing immensely. And the baby is so tiny and so teethy!
Pearly white teethies to BITE YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!
*shrugs
Iz yur headz.
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