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June 09, 2006

Goatonapole is the philosophy of being that holds that there is a Goat and a Pole and that the Goat is on the Pole. Whether we accept, reject, or live in ignorance of Goatonapole, we are all Goatonapolists. Adherents of Goatonapole often shout the mantra "The goat's on a pole!" to remind others of this central and single tenet of Goatonapole, that they might come to a deeper understanding.

Do you think he lowered that goat onto that pole, or did it jump up?

That is the only question that matters.

It looks pretty happy anyways.

No! The goat has always been on the pole!!! There is no other reality! Unbeliever!!

I like to get to the nub of a question straight away - 'what was before the big bang? How did that goat get on that pole?'

In the begining the pole was without goat, and void; goatlessness was on the top of the pole. Then God said, "Let there be goat"; and there was goat. On top of the pole.

I'm more of a believer in a steady-state goatonapole universe. There has always been a goat on a pole, there was never a time when the goat wasn't on the pole. Maybe the goat removed one or two of its feet at some point, but the goat feet always returned to the pole.

Goats on a pole? What next - Snakes on a Plane?

Pig in a Poke?

I'm pretty proud of myself for finding that old litho of the goat on a pole from what looks like late 19th century. This is obviously a kind of entertainment that's been around a fair while!

Those mountain goats really do like to stand on tall things, though. They always jump up on shit. A goat is one of the creatures I promise myself to have in the garden, one day. Never have to mow the lawn again.

Mate of mine years ago had a billy goat, forget its name. He painted its horns gold.

Well, there does seem to be a goat on a pole.

So is their philosophy of evil that Sam Jackson wants to get the motherfuckin' goat off the motherfuckin' pole?

behold the joys
of simpler days
the goat upon the pole
before the public gaze
the people
stand or sit
and cannot get
their fill of it

I don't see it. I've been staring at these pics for more than 30 seconds, and I still don't see the goat, nor do I see a pole.

These optical oddlusions are teh suxors.

the goat upon the pole
reminds me of tv
which holds in thrall
every eyeball
of contemporary

They're not fooling me; that was the only domain name they found available (it was their fourth choice).


What ever happened to Ghost in a Jar?

That was an internet fad EVERYONE could enjoy.

I think it must have links to ancient Egyptian religion: Go Aton, a pole


Istanbul, not Goatonapole.



The goat on a pole is cute!

/Isis ded from squeeee

nice aplomb dirtdirt!

What is the pole of one goat standing?

Gosh. Talk about synchronicity. Another place I frequent has lately been having goat-consciousness doubts... now this.
*stares at goatonapole, embraces nothingness*

Is this an ethnic joke?

Smite it with a sledded poleaxe!

Chy, your goat is cute, but that white goat is just beautiful.

It's enough to make a believer out of me.

Although, if there were truly a Big Bang, the goat would fall off the pole in startlement.

The origin of Goatse.

The day the goat falls from the pole, the world will end.
Don't rock the pole.

Angels dancing on the head of a pin ain't got nothing on a goat on a pole.

It's just a goat on a bloody pole, in London this is generally considered a little parochial; something that might occur in some small bucolic village to ululating locals.

homunculus: lol.



Antigoatonapolishness must be deplored.

Deplored, or de-poled?

What about the allegations of torture at Goatonapole Bay? Men forced to stand on little boxes, or were they poles?, and wearing hoods, or were they masks, while connected to electrodes , or were they, erm, milking machines

There is no pole. It's a PR stunt.


everything else is

But what about the Bear Up The Tree?

The higher the hair (or fur), the closer to Gawd.

Bears are convinced god is a Bear who holds the pole that skewers the earth and pins it to the starry sky.

And from time immemorial bears have envisioned the devil as a cat weighing 15 pounds.

Which is odd, since bears have known people for millenia.

All hail the orange kitty!

Oh, and it's turtles all the way down, folks.

British Army Demotes Mascot Goat, Billy

Dangit! I had that link all ready . .

Curse you Red Baron!!

*salutes as plane crash-lands*

... trying to head-butt the waist and nether regions of the drummers ...

O naughty goat,
no more sedate
in thy white coat
for craven drummers run
as thou buntest the bun

Jeez! You'd think Billy was... I don't know... a GOAT or something!
If anyone should be taken to task it's his handler.

Yes, yes, I know. The goat doesn't know he's been demoted, so it's no real punishment for him. It's just the idea.

A real goat! A real pole!

A real goat on a pole!


MeFi's got yer goat!

Lord Vader tormenting goats. Only he could be so bold.

Lo! Lord Vader scaring kids!
he'll be the butt of goaty jokes
once these youngsters get their second wind
for 'tis well-known that goats eat cloaks.

As if a million goats baaed at one, and then were suddenly silenced...

Tell me, Clarice, have the goats stopped screaming?


Narcoleptic goats tend to fall off the poles.

We refuse to worship them.

The Fainting Goat is the One True Goat. Those who deny this truth are heretics.

The Feinting Goat only pretends to faint.

And stays on the pole!

The Fainting Goat dreams of the universe, which it promptly eats upon waking.

The Feinting Goat never wakes.

The Werzog wakes, though, and the Werzog is his alter ego.

The pole is strong with this one . . .



Saving the straw goat, which is not exactly upon a pole, but a series of poles serving as a armature.


=an armature

Did you stutter, Bees?

Did 'n' do.


"Not even napalm can set fire to the goat now."

Ah, carp. Bees beet me to it!

Fishing for compliments, eh Koko?

She's trying to salmon a joke.

I hake it when you guys do this.

Let minnow when you run out of fish puns.

I'm both oafish and over-finical.

This pun-upsmanship is just squid pro quo.

Abalone, you people only get up to this when there's fame to be had in the fishy world of punditry!

Cod almighty knows we can do beta.

OK this isn't tunny.

Goats on a tree.

wee birds flew west

these goats climb best
upon each nest

a pole is there
the tree's now bare

these goats have browsed
where men in vain
for water dowsed
and all in vain

A goat when treed
Is mostly freed
from goatly cares and trials

Their high-up wishin
While bleatin' and pissin'
On others bring goatly smiles

Oh me oh my
Look up in the sky
It's a goatly Chy
Hi yippie yi!

No poles there, but soft!
It's a branch-billy's loft
And the height of goatly style

The pole metaphor
Is billygoat lore
And plays to the billygoat wiles


mrs roryk saw a goat standing on a tree stump earlier today.

A goat on a stump
Might cause me to jump
And say “Goodness me!” or “Hot damn!”

Startled I’d be
By a goat in a tree
And say, “What a noteworthy ram!’

A goat in a plane
Might make me exclaim,
“Oh, my, this is very distressing,”

But a goat on a pole
Is a thing to extol!
Go in peace; thus endeth the lesson.


hail, nimble goat
in yonder tree
you exemplify
on you we gazed
and gaped in awe
as each leaf vanished
down your craw

now in the cold clear
light of dawn
have mercy on our
shivering souls
for what was forest
is all gone
we only see these
bark-stripped poles

A goat in a tree
This should not be
A goat on a pole
Well, bless my soul.

or jack-be-quick
some people say
is a devil's trick
sees all around
and doesn't put
a hoof to the ground

a goat-on-a-pole
is a helluva thing
no wires or trestles
or bits of odd string

just a goat-on-a-pole
keeping vigilant gaze
on the sunset and sunrise
and starlight displays

I think our OP needs to read this link

First Trailer For George Clooney And His Team Of Goat-Staring Military "Jedis"

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