June 05, 2006
Hollywood baby names!
Those wacky Hollywood celebs are giving their fashion babies all sortsa kooky names! See if you can come up with some new ones!
I'll get you started:
Freight
Vas Deferens
Offal
Jub Jub
Nonfat Latte
Succotash
Invoice
Fax
Skill Saw
O'Hare International Airport
as I believe I have mentioned before, IF I had children, and IF they were twin girls: Scylla & Charybdis my little monsters, oh yeah!
Shiloh? Tell me that isn't made for a custody fight -- the Battle of Shiloh... Sweet Mothra.
Suggestions, suggestions... Hmm.
FIRE!!!
Mr. Justice _____________.
The Right Honourable Sir John A. _____________.
____________2.0
B-612
Sears-Roebuck Foundation
H2SO4
Special Agent ____________.
STAMPEDE!!!
I'll think of better ones later.
D'Artagnan-dumas Smith
Tombombadillpickle Smith
Singhoforthelifeofabear Smith
Marmaduke Poindextre!
Tarquin Fintimlinbinwhinbimlim Bus Stop Poontang Poontang Ole Biscuit-Barrel
By the way, I put $500 on Bluebell Madonna in the fifth.
Kumquat
Nothing cuter than little baby Kumquat _____
quidnunc!
I think Prince had it right. Screw alphabets. Symbols!!! Pictograms!!! Hieroglyphs!!!
I mean, fuck it, if you really want to make your kid stand out and maximize the brand image. Slap a copyright on that sucker!
Durianwhyyahurryinso Smith
Raindropskeepflorianwecallitsnow Smith
Iknowwheremistersporkisbutwhereiscaptainfoon Smith
YourmamasgonnakillmewhensheseesInamedyoublankettyblank Smith
'Sooty' strikes me as a good, virile kind of name for a boy for some reason.
Salsa.
Everybody loves salsa.
A wonderful opportunity to link to possibly my fave website evah: Baby's Named A Bad Bad Thing
I think Mothra is a good, strong name.
Gilbertannesullivan Smith
Rhodesianridgebackalaureate Smith
InXanadudidKublaKhan Smith
Little One Wrapped In Fox-Fur As The Eagle Soars Over The Campfire.
Alternative Carpark
WOKWOKSNAGGLESNIGGLERARFPUS LIPSHITZNELWOTSAK Smith
"These days if you have an ordinary name in Hollywood you change it to a weird one. The more distinctive your name is the better. There's a whole issue of image and branding out there," Satran said.
Flex Rottweilier McBain
Squatthrust
Galactica
Jibbly
Concatenate
Radiohead
Bongwater
Strap-on Cephalopod Smith-Smythe-Smith
For a brief shining moment, I seriously considered naming my youngest son Reinhardt. The very wise MrsFes put the Megiddo-Veto on that pretty quickly, though.
Little Feyd-Rautha is two now!
Also: Medusa, were I not already otherwise shackled and you were so inclined, I'd do my damnedest to give you those twins, just to hear you call them off the back porch around suppertime.
I see your Feyd-Rautha and raise you a Kwisatz Haderach.
Shiloh Pitt?!?
How long until a classmate thinks of "piloh shitt"? I bet... Grade 2 at the latest.
Not that any name can't be made into something taunt-like at that age, but people should at least think about it and give the kid a fighting chance.
There's a teen that lives near here whose name is Bluefrog Treespirit Rainshower. He calls himself "Fro", and will certainly pony up the money for a legal name change when he can. His mum is unrepentant. (No, I don't hate hippies, I probably AM one, but she went overboard into loony, imco.)
Latrine Smith?
Quo'qui'qua Johnson?
Actually, I new a girl named Latrine. No joke.
Oh, and I went to school with a gal named Joy Fling.
I love telling that one.
Debris was a good one.
Rothwaltershed Werzogzig Smith
Cinderellington Ain'tgotthatswing Smith
Bettyboopdid Dumdaddumwaddumdo Smith
That's a beautiful site, mothninja! (NSFW if your company has a policy against guffawing on duty.)
But really...shouldn't all babies be named Werzog, Jr.?
nunja, I'll see your "Joy Fling" and raise you a "Jim Class." No shittin'.
Jim Class. Very nice, very nice.
Hmm...let me see...
I worked with a guy called Seargent Major; that wasn't his given name, but his earned one.
Yeah, I got nuthin' now.
Hee..."nunja."
Permian-Triassic
Thufir Hawat
QueSarahSarah
Porchclimber
Ovarie
Windy
Yugo
Pi
I'll C your Thufir Hawat and raise ye an Alpharalpha Bullyvarden Smith
I have decided that Filibuster would make a great middle name (for a boy, OBVIOUSLY!!)
Joaquin Filibuster Johnson
Marcus Filibuster Jones
Eusebius Filibuster Smith
Sykewalker Filibuster Smythe
Reinhardt Fillibuster Festopopadopalous!
Or you can go for the unpredictable, and say, give the kid the names of the first three goalscorers at the World Cup.
Miroslav Miroslav Victor. Could work.
Euphonious Euonymous Smith
Swingline Attaché Johnson
Carramelle Sundai Jones
Maundy Thyrsdé Brown
so would the monkeys with children care to share their offsprings names with us?
I have also joked about having 3 daughters so I could give them each one of the names under which I was a sex-worker of one sort or another. Its extremely difficult, when I meet a baby named, for instance, Fiona, not to say "hey, I useta...by that name!" but I manage to keep my mouth shut :)
Uh, no kids, but plenty of fish, all named after Captains. Smith, Cook, Hook, Hudson, Bligh, Stubing (the bald one), Morgan, Hunnicut...
Dabberlacks Badderlocks Smith
Spreckledapple Dipperlip Smith
Brunswickstooge Uberdumpling Smith
Two kids:
Male = Darren Anthony
Female = Audrey Miranda
Lurline Beudraux
Maximum Fistilingus
Zanshin Monkey
Kudzu Crawler
Uva Gawtmale
Pita Bread
Duke of Chutney
Chickalicka Swanksheesh Smith
Rodeododo Catmandude Smith
Marzipanther Woolsocket Smith
chi-chi, mohandas, myles, sol.
three of these are/were cats, one is a person.
Balderdash Erawen Smith
Grave Swensen Jones
Mojito Swiss Anderson
Dumpling LS Allen
ZOLTAN!
For real names:
Stewart (Stew) - dog
Mojado - fish
Butterball - fish
Jesusfish - fish
Stripedy - fish
I too, went to school with a "LaTrina". Predictably, she had developed into such a badass that she could break your kneecaps with a glance if you even thought about making fun of her name
Nebuchadnezzar No-Nukes Savethewhales
Scherazade Greenpeace Polaricecap
hooray for Wodehouse!
Pongo Roderick Spink-Bottle!
Hernia
Lactose
Earlobia
I named my girl Helen.
what cute monklettes everyone has!
Mothninja - that link is making me cry at work. Darn you!
Tatumagouche Pugwash Smith
Wagmatcook Whycocomagh Smith
Ingonish Dingwall Smith
Owner of a bar I used to frequent named her children Alixander and Alililith. (Took me a minute to remember how to stop spelling that one. Yes, three "li"s in there.)
Mika and Seth.
Four-letter words, just the way I like 'em.
ZOLTAN!
I work with not one, but 3 people named Zoltan! None of them is a hound of Dracula though.
Pukatawagan Winnipegosis Smith
Lloydminister Fond-du-Lac Smith
Athabasca Drumheller Smith
Spodumene Babingtonite Smith
Böhmite Sillimanite Smith
Ye'elimite Calomel Smith
Oromocto Kouchibouguac Smith
Allagash Causapscal Smith
Millinocket Tracadie Smith
Dendraster Hallopora Smith
Globigerina Calcarea Smith
Conularid Hydrozoa Smith
Tibiafibula Finoolamacoolya Smith
Whahaewiwalletsfled Killicrankielassie Smith
Rumgumption Gumgomerel Smith
Ne'erdowell Lazibumpkis Smith
Erik Dile Disfunk Sean Smith
Schnoodlemeyer Frotteur Smith
Velveeta Cumicia Jones
Hellspawn McShitter
Almond Joy Fatbar
Dickie Dweeb Smith
Blowchunks Pornmeister
IF I had children, and IF they were twin girls: Scylla & Charybdis
Not me. If I had twins, they'd be Castor and Remus.
Odovocar the Ostrogoth Surname
Vercingetorix McSlattery Surname
Farty McBumBum Surname
Herod Dahmer Surname
Haman Adolf Surname
Black Jacques Shellaque Surname
Moe: "Farty McBumBum! I need a Farty McBumbum in here!!"
Bart: "Ha ha ha!" *click*
Eenie Meenie Smith
Meenie Miney Smith
Miney Moe Smith
and if you get a four pack...
Tiny Heiny Smith
In my last job, we had an imaginary pet monkey called Zoltan. He was evil and wore a waistcoat and a fez, which he would raise and replace on his head quickly, as he prepared to do our bidding.
I miss Zoltan.
Given all the comment and baby names; and the origin; is there no one else out there who remembers the Neil Diamond song??? Ok and my vote us still for the unspellable (yeah and i will get it wrong too) Nebucchadnezer or somesuch. Come inside Nebbie
aaaaaaagh i hate the fact that the u key is next to the i key - my spelling as atrocious at the best of times!
actually - try baby Chironex.. lovely specially if u give the middle name fleckeri
When we were "debating" baby names, I came across this site. Needless to say, we didn't choose one of these. But they are original.
A friend of Mrs Dotcom's who's a fashion designer had her first, a little girl, on Saturday. Early suggestions were that she would be called Raisin
Stifled guffaws all round.
However friend had the last laugh as this was a wind-up and we all fell for it ...
Mind you:
Brother no 3 had 2nd baby 18 months ago and gave it Ptolomy as a middle name, with the announcement that said child would be nicknamed: "Tolly"
Brother no 2 had 3rd baby the other week and called it Matilda, announcing that it would be known as Tilly.
So I have a nephew called Tolly and a neice called Tilly ...
I've just checked with an ex-colleague.
Zoltan the imaginary monkey's last name was Muckluck.
Zoltan Muckluck.
Whatta guy!
Mothandtimothy Banhammer Smith
Leopardopera Moosewadingforgodot Smith
Jerichola Jinglemaker Smith
Echo Echo Echo
shamalamadingdong lavendar deepdelver
Ossifer Jack-in-the-Socks Smith
Clara-Beaudelaire Wee-Willie-Winks-At-The-It-Girl Smith
Mehitabelladonna Stenograsaurus Smith
that's a Namibian ass-shaker there
They've all gone Namby-pram-by!
Eubonica Eudorable Smith
Eubonica Eudorable Smith
Coloradotcom Colliedog Smith
Marzipanda Bear-with-me Smith
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