May 17, 2006

Got a uterus? Drop that cigarette and step awaaay from the margarita, nice and slowly, now.
  • Ve muzt keep ze nation PURE!! Paperz pleaze! Do your service to ze faderland er I mean homeland!!! /spittle
  • It's the "oval office" edict.
  • And put all the Muslims in concentration camps, while we're at it.
  • Geez! Yet another way to subtly let us know we're nothing more than walking baby factories.
  • Women should also make sure all vaccinations are up-to-date and avoid contact with lead-based paints and cat feces, Biermann said. Well, fuck, there goes the wife's diet.
  • Money to be made in US bars, selling forged Registered Hysterectomy Patient cards.
  • New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.
    in a related measure, all expenditures on female contraception will be refunded by the federal government.
  • How about men? We can smoke, drink like the poverbial fish, get fat, have asthma, take no vitamins, play with lead paint, handle cat poop, and the Government Does Not Care. Sperm sources. That is all we are. Then we can drop dead.
  • I read a magazine article recently by a woman who couldn't find a doctor to perform a voluntary tubal ligation on her. Her boyfried was given the vasectomy he wanted, no questions asked. Grr.
  • That's only because Jesus hates your filthy vaginas.
  • Hmm, I don't have a uterus. So I usually end up borrowing one from a friend when I need one.
  • Bugger that for a lark.
  • Beg your pardon?
  • Lark buggery is the new horse buggery.
  • Now wait just a teeny-weenie minute.
  • Sperm sources. That is all we are. Then we can drop dead. Then we eat you. Delicious. On a retardeder note: doesn't the Mormon religion say that women will be "pregnant forever?" That's not my idea of heaven, lemme tell you.
  • Underpants: It may well have been an insurance issue. If she was young and the BF was older, it wouldn't be the first time that's happened. Some companies won't pay for a tubal until a patient has reached a certain age. At any rate, as the fattest, unhealthiest nation on earth (at least on the non-third-world part of it), preventative medicine makes a lot of sense. Since you ladies ARE, as you so succinctly put it, "baby factories". Among many, many other important things.
  • Ve muzt keep ze nation PURE!! Paperz pleaze! Do your service to ze faderland er I mean homeland!!! Not too far off. (Embedded QuickTime)
  • Handmaid's Tale, anyone?
  • Underpants: It may well have been an insurance issue. If she was young and the BF was older, it wouldn't be the first time that's happened. Some companies won't pay for a tubal until a patient has reached a certain age. The BF may have been older, but as for the rest - that's my entire point. She didn't mention anything about the insurance, just the doctors themselves refusing to do it because they couldn't imagine a young woman not wanting to bear children.
  • How about men? We can smoke, drink like the poverbial fish, get fat, have asthma, take no vitamins, play with lead paint, handle cat poop... Apart from the asthma, that's my whole life, right there.
  • But if women can't drink, how'll they end up pregnant? Yeah, I got nuthin'.
  • Apart from the asthma, that's my whole life, right there. You forgot wallowing in your own filth.
  • mmmmm...own filth...
  • There must be something wrong with women who don't want (my) children. It's unnatural.
  • This really makes me want to start smoking again...its certainly already raised my bloodpressure. /non-breeding, non-pregnant, now extremely paranoid cause I am still vaguely of breeding age--"breeding age" ugh!!
  • You are but a vessel!
  • *checks Medusa's teeth* Hmm...this one's got good muscle tone...
  • Then have her washed and brought to the breeding chamber. *clap* *clap*
  • Handmaid's Tale, anyone? Speaking of which, we're overdue for the Eugenics Wars as well...
  • ok! I am so moving to any other country...hmmm Bolivia is startin' to look real good about now, or perhaps BurmMyanmar?
  • mmmmm . . repressilicious
  • I think it's interesting that they've decided to treat all women as "pre-pregnant" to alleviate the US's lousy infant death rate, rather than doing something to address the inequities of health care. They have a proven correlation between people with lack of insurance and infant mortality, but instead of addressing that, they'd rather follow the paternal bullshit of treating women like we're idiots. This pushes buttons with me... mostly because I just found out I am pregnant (yay!) but that my insurance runs out in August (ohmyGodwhatamIgonnado?)
  • Yay for meredithea!
  • America needs to have a revolution, all the laws except the constitution scrapped, all the members of government & civil service SHOT, and start over again. Seriously.
  • what Chyren said. seriously.just kidding! and congrats meredithea!! here comes another little monkey :)
  • Yay for meredithea! Yay for mereditto!
  • Actually, I blame the electorate. America needs a revolution.
  • Nothing to worry about, until they start asking for bloody samples at checkpoints. Then it will be too late anyway.
  • Great plan, Flagpole. :(
  • Great news, Meredithea! oh, and by the way, BearGuy... K H A A A A A A N N ! ! ! ! !
  • !
  • Thanks, everyone! I'm pretty darn excited.
  • You say that now, but soon it'll be all "Gimmie druuugs, gimmie druuuuugs!" ;) congrats, too
  • Yay, meredithea! Wot fun.
  • Screw that. I'm going to have a beer when I get home. The thing that bugs me is that there are some perfectly common-sense, healthy for everyone type things that people need to change, and if you're going to affect the masses by reminding them of the chyyyldrun, fine, do that. Then there are things like alcohol consumption which is fine, arguably healthy in the right amount, for normal people, but is contraindicted by people with a particular type of uterine growth. Screw that; this is akin to banning peanut butter sandwiches because of the chance of undiagnosed allergies. While we're at it, it does reek of eugenics, without the opposite! Nothing here is telling people to STOP making new people. Healthy enough to fight the war, there we go. If this was really eugenics they'd stop people from breeding, too, but no, it's turned into a quantity war, with things like this as a weak safety measure. What bugs me is that it encourages the attitude that everyone who gets pregnant, even 'accidentially,' will be keeping it. Meredithea: If you're in most states, you'll be fine, insurance-wise. I work in a teaching hospital in a city - about half the patients are on state pregnancy insurance. My insurance runs out in August, too, but there is no safety net for people who choose not to reproduce. (Whoa, I got ranty there, sorry, guys, but this bugs me on so many levels.)
  • When I was taking the Pill for HRT, the insurance company called me to confirm that that's what I was taking them for, as they cover contraceptives at a lower rate. They cover fertility treatments at 100%, but only pay a fraction for my diabetic supplies. They might as well be flashing a neon sign reading "HAVE MORE BABIES!"
  • Lothar: Yes! Let us sing "The Man Song"! You know the tune! [ they stand ] All: [ singing ] "Men, men, men, men Men are better than women! Men are stronger Men are better Men are better than women!"
  • congrats, meredithea!
  • hooray!
  • As a person having more babies...er, well, part of a team having more babies, I’m fairly happy with the assistance from the state on it. My wife and I did need the insurance help for a variety of reasons, the least of which is not spending all the money which could be used to raise a child on concieving a child. I concede there are a whole slew of things wrong with health care though and I’m not really happy with it’s commoditization. That aside - we’re fanatic about the health of our child. Neither of us smoke, she is taking pills and eating seaweed soup (extraordinarially good for babies) and doing all sorts of natural healthy things such that we’ll be able to pound nails with the baby as soon as the baby comes out of the womb.* But this risk management stuff is getting oppressive. It’s ridiculous to make the law do something the market should be doing (given that health is privatized as it is now). I oppose seat belts for the same reason. It’s the insurance companies behind it. Well, screw ‘em. If I get in an accident and I’m not wearing my seat belt, charge me or fine me, or don’t pay off or something. But making public employees - who are on MY dime - into their goon squad so they can save money is unacceptable. It’s either a private industry with all the risks that entails, or we (Da U.S. of A) should have a public health care system. This privatizing profits/public sharing of risk thing looks great for the bottom line on paper, but soon everyone in society is going to be wearing a fucking helmet to eat oatmeal. I’d rather wallow in kitfisto’s own filth. *Disclaimer: father does not intend to hammer nails with infants head
  • yay for meredithea. and for a commonsense action, why not folic-acidify the water supply? i realize that some foods in the u.s. are enriched, but water could catch those who are missing out on cereals and breads.
  • and yay for smedleyman and smedleywoman!
  • meredithea: When you go home tonight, pour yourself a wine glass full of red or white grape juice. Sip and enjoy. Practice this when you start to show, and you will get lots of advice on how you should be treating your unborn baby better. Lots of fun.
  • EarWax: Really? I would have thought it would be better to practise a good, straight right to the kisser. A far more useful deterrant for unwanted advice. meredithea: Move to a civilised country 8).
  • Maybe this will lead to boxers becoming de rigeur for men. Y'know, just in case you ever decide to father somebody.
  • Woo hoo meredithea! Keep us updated.
  • Congrats on the new monkey, meredithea!
  • Great. Now when you go to the ER for a broken leg, you'll have to endure 2 hours of "are you sure you're not pregnant?" instead of 1. If my doctor starts any of this crap I'm gonna punch her. Seriously.
  • P.S. Drinking a margarita right now. Bring on the Secret Police, baby!
  • Lara, that's the Secret Baby Police.
  • SBP - we'd like a few words with your uterus.
  • Monkeyfilter: We'd like a few words with your uterus. just a matter of the right place at the right time...
  • Hey, Weezel! *tips hat
  • Weeeeeeze!!! Hello there! I was only wondering yesterday why we hadn't smelt your foul stench around here for a while...
  • Charming, to the last. hey Weezie!
  • I told you she would never consciously betray the uterus.
  • Her uterus is far too remote for a proper demonstration anyway.
  • Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate her uterus!
  • The more you tighten your grip, the more uterii will slip through your fingers.
  • Commander, tear this uterus apart until you have found those plans, and bring me the passengers, I want them alive!
  • In case you ever become brooderous, Please protect your fragile uterus. Lest as a species you should neuter us, Take precautions latitudinous.
  • In a word, Babs, your uvula is on the fritz.
  • Hey, thanks for all the comments, everyone! Aaaand, I just got offered a job with benefits yesterday (why I wasn't online... too busy doing the happy dance)! It doesn't pay a lot, but the benefits will make me (and my equally under-insured partner) very much less stressed out about the future.
  • Congrats to you, partner and little monkey on the way!
  • *sings off key Good things, comin' your way Good things, day after day... Congrats to you and Mr. M. Now step away from the booze.
  • Crotchfruit!!