March 03, 2006

• All this Apocalyptic stuff -- couldn't they just have made a version of Big Buck Hunter, only with Lambs of God? Skeet shooting at Doves of Peace?
• . . . a level of violence reminiscent of Grand Theft Auto. The game revolves around New Yorkers who are "left behind" after the rapture. Players scour the streets for converts, training them into a work force to feed, shelter and join a paramilitary resistance against the growing forces of the Antichrist. For fuck's sake people - get out now!
• I can't wait for the rapture, because then all the f'ing moralizers will get beamed up to heaven. Unfortunately, I think it already happened, and this is what we got left with.
• Does it have Rambo Jesus in it?
• Can't wait for the X-play review.
• and the Penny-Arcade take on it.
• seriously though, is that Rambo Jesus thing real? Or did that blog guy make that up?

• Bart:	Got him!
  Rod:	No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.

• Here's the problem I have with this: This interpretation of Revelation is based on a hermeneutic that sees scripture as word for word literal, except where the author explicitly states that they're using metaphoric or figurative speech. (Which may also explain the distinct inability to detect irony in the average fundie, but I digress..) If you're reading Revelation with a literal "giant freaking locusts with man-faces" point of view, you're going to be hard pressed to find any accounts of a paramilitary anti-anti-Christ strike force. Frankly, if I were a fundie, I may think this is a little blasphemous. Scripture is clear that the sole victory over evil comes from Christ alone when he comes back to lay the smack down on the forces of Satan and David Hasselhoff. To imply that he needs our help, is pretty arrogant if you ask me.
• arrogant, nuts, it's all good.
• This thread on the IGN gaming boards (which I found while looking up info for the Left Behind game) is ridiculously amusing.
• Trailer for the game.
• "Hermeneutic" is my new favorite word.
• It think a couple Horsemen would put the cosmological kibosh on any jesus-come-lately gang of Red Dawn inspired muttonheads pretty quickly. Maybe that's level 10!
• WOOOOOOOOLVEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!
• Man, this is old movie reference day for me. I just had a lengthy discussion earlier today about the beauty of the Dolph Lundgren live-action film adaptation of "Masters of the Universe."
• *cough*nerd!*cough*
• That movie is genius, you bastard.
• Argh, that thread on the IGN boards made blood come out of my ears and my face melt off.
• 
• I don't remermber Skeletor being quite that gay.
• Oh my god, that thread continues to bring teh funnay: you are the stain on the underwear of christianity.
• Can we start a "Grammar for God" movement and get the people in that IGN board involved ASAP?
• I bought the first two Left Behind movies at my local megalomart for $5.50 together. I had some friends over to watch them whilst drinking adult beverages, and we only made it part way through the second movie because they're too awful to watch, even with the help of alcohol. However, I can recommend watching the first movie with the captioning turned on, because the captions are hi-lariously wrong.
• Also, the same company has a different (yet eerily similar and lower budgeted) series called Apocalypse, and no lesser a being than Mr. T stars in the fourth installment, called Judgement The movie also has Corbin Bernsen, but he's less awesome.
• And yet more funny from the thread. Shut up. Youre just going to rot in the ground like your stupid granny.
• The best part about the IGN thread, and I really should have put this in my first link, is here, where the "evolution is fake" guy posts a desperate plea for help on the Left Behind: Eternal Forces board.
• Nickdanger, you struck gold with that one. HILARIOUS.
• xD Kill me God, so funny.
• Wow, the fundie guy in that IGN thread is rad. Christianity never borowed from other religeons,the other religeons borowed from christianity. Christianity didn't borrow anything from, say, Judaism?
• Them angel wings was totally ripped offa Mothrism.
• Forgive them FSM, for they don't know how to make a proper red sauce.
• Christianity didn't borrow anything from, say, Judaism? Or paganism?
• What? The sun-god cult of Christianity didn't borrow from Zoroastrianism? Heaven? Hell? Opposing powers? Angels? Life as a moral battleground? Oh for crying out loud. Yes, all religions are beautiful unique snowflakes that wrote all their own material.
• I love the fact that some of the guys arguing with the fundie take four pages before they decide he's a troll. Help please i'm loseing the arguement!
• Oh for crying out loud. Yes, all religions are beautiful unique snowflakes that wrote all their own material. No they're not. They all stoled from Christianity!
• I can't believe that no one has posted a link to the "Help please i'm loseing the arguement!" post in the original IGN thread (at least, I haven't seen it). I've half-a-mind to join IGN just to do so.
• I can't find that comment either. However I did find this: God is definitely real and evolution is also but to a lesser extent. Which my brain is utterly unable to parse.
• My question: if God is so kind and loving, why did he invent Dracula?
• Well, fuck, thanks Nickdanger, now I have to renounce Christ.
• Slacktivist's comments about the game (or rather, the reporting about it) can be found here.
• I'm with Mord. I can't wait for the Rapture, 'cause all the Xians will be gone. And I get their stuff!
• I'm still waiting for this game to come out
• "God is definitely real and evolution is also but to a lesser extent." Ontology has never been the fundies' strong suit.
• Die, infidel, die!
• What Would Jesus Shoot?
• ...the breeze? ...pool? ...craps?
• Ah, here's an even more in-depth article about the game, its makers, and its marketing. Chock full o' disturbing.