March 01, 2006

• Cut the top off, cut the bottom off, slice off the outer husk anyway you please, cut off chunks (don't eat the central tough bit because.. it's too tough) and chomp away.
• Or cut it in half lengthwise with a big knife, then cut out the fruit. More here.
• Just bite right in - the outside makes for good roughage. Or you could use one of these. They actually work pretty well.
• Chy's way seems best in my experience. Central tough bit doesn't have as much flavour, either. Cut it into round slices if you're sharing. Oh man, my mouth is watering.
• pineapples were on sale today and this monkey 's never eaten a real one Who the fuck makes imitation pineapple?
• Huh? They don't grow sliced up in tins??? (~^)
• (1) It is ripe when a few leaves will pull out easily. Also, a good smell may come from the pineapple, but this sometimes indicates it is overripe. (2) As Chy says, cut of the top and bottom. [Sometimes the top can be made to grow and prosper - another topic.] (3) Slice the sides down. Shape it like a stop sign, then trim any edges that are still a bit questionable. You don't want to loose all the litte spiny things, but get most of them. (4) Slice slabs off. Leave the central core. Cut the slabs into chunks, place in bowl, runaway and hide before someone wants to share your sweet sweet fruit. (5) The core can be fun to chew. Mostly if you are a kid. I need to get me some *real* pineapples.
• The correct term is "paradise fruit". You're welcome. can I have some?
• Careful. Pineapples are high in fruit acids and digestive enzymes, so high in fact that eating too much pineapple will begin to digest one’s mouth. And, Fresh pineapples contain a special protease and hydroxyptamine. The latter makes blood vessels (especially those in the brain) shrink.
• There are some fruits that are far better in processed form than in real form. Case in point: cranberries. Processed into delightful can-shaped jellified wads? scrumptious! As actual berries? not so much.
• Oh. Forget pr0n, mp3s, wikipedia or such stuff. *This* is the reason the net is a good thing. And I really mean it.
• Excuse me, are you people actually denying the reality of a pineapple that has been cut up? Does the friut cease to exist as soon as the skin is removed? Does a pineapple transmogrificate to an unreal dimension when it is put in a tin? What, if I may employ the argot of youth, the fuck?
• I've got another one. Cows. Chopped up into small pieces and grilled? Deelish. Eaten alive? I think not.
• I find it's easiest with an electric carving knife, doing what Chy said. Lop off the ends, shave off the outer diameter, then cut into crosswise slices and eat everything but the core.
• Quid, I love you. I read a great article years back on toast, which I also love. A philosophical article on the nature of toast, re: was it in fact just toasted bread, or did the toasting process in some essential way, to employ the argot of my favorite corpse, transmogrificate that bread into another entity entirely? that being the holey carbohydrate that is toast. pass the butter please!
• Who the fuck makes imitation pineapple? umm...Falsity von Fruitman?
• YOUR BERRIES ARE FULL OF LIE-JUICE.
• LOL!
• Pineapples are overrated. Skip it and grab the more flavorful cousin, the durian...
• There are some fruits that are far better in processed form than in real form. As was discussed here.
• PINEAPPLE IS REALITY GODDAMIT
• HEY, IS IT CAPS LOCK DAY?
• 
• My hatred for you people is tart and yellowish with spiny bits on the outside. See you tomorrow!
• The pineapple is very nice as a fruit, but my favorite fruit is the mango - now *that* is a difficult fruit to eat, it's slimy, hard to slice and it has a huge nut in the middle of it. I've never been able to manage preparing it that special way that people keep telling me. My least favorite fruit? Fucking avocado. Why do people eat these? It has no taste. Well, slightly tastes of soap. It's a disgusting disgrace of a fruit, and I for one wish it would fuck off.
• Gomichild: Your attempt to entertain me with strange candy and fishnets is well recieved. It's like you've known me all my life!
• Poem Written at Morning Wallace Stevens A sunny day's complete Poussiniana Divide it from itself. It is this or that And it is not. By metaphor you paint A thing. Thus, the pineapple was a leather fruit, A fruit for pewter, thorned and palmed and blue, To be served by men of ice. The senses paint By metaphor. The juice was fragranter Than wettest cinnamon. It was cribled pears Dripping a morning sap. The truth must be That you do not see, you experience, you feel, That the buxom eye brings merely its element To the total thing, a shapeless giant forced Upward. Green were the curls upon that head.
• Hey i just was going to mention that Spiney Piney looks like a HUMAN HEAD. I've got a head sitting on my counter. Now, the knife approaches.
• chyren, i wonder if you're getting good avocadoes? for example, the pinkertons and fuertes shown on this page are much better-tasting than the roundier hass/reed varieties. have you tried the miniature (sort of kumquat size) ones?
• If you buy pineapple in a country where you wouldn't drink the water, make the vendor cut it up fresh for you rather than taking pineapple already cut up in a bag as it has probably been rinsed off with the local water. Plus, it's fresher.
• contrary to popular belief, the pineapple is neither a kind of apple, nor does it grow on pine trees...it is actually a kind of tomato...
• Whenever I eat pineapples I inevitably notice that within the hour my semen will smell like Rick Sprinfield's.
• How often are you sampling your semem for smell? That's insane!
• Monkeyfilter: slimy, hard to slice and it has a huge nut in the middle of it
• I believe this may be the non-real pineapple StoreBored has been eating. The real deal is much tastier, trust me.
• Monkeyfilter: within the hour your semen will smell like Rick Sprinfield's.
• Who the fuck makes imitation pineapple? The same people who make imitation crabs.. Speaking of which, I employed an imitation girlfriend the other night and now I need some imitation shampoo.. ..recommendations?
• And how do we know what Rick Springfield's semen smells like? Has someone here done research?
• This is what you use for properly eating mangos. It's tricky to hit the narrow nut inside (if you're not careful, can end stabbing your own palm), but once you have that juicy, plump, sweet mango safely secured and stripped bare of its' tender skin, it's party time. In your mouth. And... avocados, as a fruit? Mmmh, no, I've always had them as another salad ingredient, or stuffed with tuna or shrimps, or in guacamole dip... always salty.
• well it sounds like bernockle has done all the research we need....
• I'd personally like to see his lab notes.
• I can't believe you're eating PINEAPPLE. It's so suck. So suck indeed. suckity suck. All the cool kids are eating Cellumcooch. Which is a really cool, obscure fruit I just invented. It's great with BBQ sauce.
• Pineapple is the poor folk's Mahoganyapple. And from the buzz I hear on this Cellumcooch? It's the new black.
• My grandfather used to go to Honduras a couple of times a year to build or maintain churches. Before he realized it was illegal, he'd bring back the absolute best pineapple in the universe. We would eat ourselves silly on the stuff. Happy Eatings, StoryBored!
• Peeling pineapples
• Pineapple is the poor folk's Mahoganyapple LOL!
• Pineapples, yuck. Too sour for my taste. I love avocado milkshakes - mix with sweetened condensed milk, Milo powder (or chocolate/cocoa powder) and blend. Yummy.
• All righty, Chy. The gauntlet is thrown. Avocados are from heaven, given to us by a generous and benevolent being with our vegetable welfare in mind. Anyone who doesn't like a 'cado has never had one of the really goooooood ones. And if you don't like 'em, send 'em my way.
• The gauntlet is thrown. Avocados are from heaven, given to us by a generous and benevolent being with our vegetable welfare in mind. You're thinking of blueberries...
• Silence! The pineapple is enough! *chomp* *chomp* more please *chomp* *smack* *slurp*
• And you musn't forget the all-important final step - putting the severed pineapple top on your head and dancing about like Carmen Miranda.
• avocado - testicle of the god [self-link]
• Huckleberries. That's the fruit of the gods, by gum.
• *intercepts the rerouted avocadoes* Good guacamole can be sublime, but for the true experience all you need is a perfectly ripe avocado, a knife to slice it in half, salt, pepper, and a spoon. *feels toes curling up*
• I've had some smaller pineapples where the core was almost as good as the rest - worth giving it an exploratory bite, I'd say. The best thing to do with avocado is a nice insalata tricolore. Heavy on the olive oil.
• Yeah, I knew all the avocado afficionados would come out upon my utterance of heresy. But all of their recipes rely on covering up or spicing up the taste of the avocado! On it's own, it tastes like unflavoured KY jelly! Oh yeah, I'm a foodie. I've tried avocados of all shapes, makes and sizes, people. Of course! I'm a foodie! But I've never been pleased. Marks&Sparks avocado & prawn sammiches used to deal for me as lunch while I was at St Martins, but thats as far as I go.
• I also despise pumpkin, eggplant and rhubarb. Vile!!
• *throws avocado stones at chyren*
• Eggplant I can see. Eeeeeeeven the lowly rhubarb, if not prepared correctly. But PUNKIN?
• I have a recipe for pumpkin cookies that are so good you would murder a baby for them.
• Eggplant parmigiana is a great way to get your . . . umm . . i think it's magnesium. and fat. Mmmmmm sweet, delicious pasta-soaked olive oil fat.
• I'll find a baby, you email me the pumpkin cookie recipe. Thanks.
• Marks&Sparks avocado & prawn sammiches used to deal for me as lunch while I was at St Martins He came for geeks he had a thirst for knowledge He studied sculpture at St Martin's college That's where I Caught his eye He told me that his pants were loaded I said "in that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola" He said "fine" And in thirty seconds time ...
• He said, "I won't eat like common people, I want to eat cheese, lots of cheese, Oh wait that's what common people eat Cheese-eating common people like you."
• Pineappleman Style?
• 12:00 新宿->14:00,15:00 秋葉->15:00 水道橋 Ha! Oh how true that is!
• 12:00 Shinjuku->14:00,15:00 Akihabara->15:00 Suidobashi
• Like Zorro!
• On it's own, it tastes like unflavoured KY jelly! !!!!!! Either you've had incredible bad luck in selecting your avocados... or you need to send me a sample of that specific jelly batch. And pumpkin? Chy, you're THIS close of making me learn to cook just so I could sneak into your compound and force you to eat a delicious, freshly baked pie.
• No no no a thousand times no.
• Yes?
• On it's own, it tastes like unflavoured KY jelly! Am I correct in thinking that only Chy spreads toast with unflavored KY jelly? hmmmmm.... MonkeyFilter: On it's own, it tastes like unflavoured KY jelly! Joins Pantsie in dancing around with empty grape stems: "I heard it through the grape vine, I'm just about to loooose my mind, honey, honey, yeah" I heard it through the grape vine not much longer would you be mine, woo woo woo
• they have flavors? Huh. *slips $1 in GramMa's sock* Wooo! Shake it!
• Damnit, BlueHorse, you beat me to it. I was gonna try and make up for the fun I had the other day. That GramMa is far too quick for this ObnoxiousApe.
• Mmmmm, Kentucky Jelly! Tastes like chicken!
• mct, I demand -- DE-MAND -- that you put your recipe on the wiki.
• We have a wiki?
• I can only find the LaGatta's recipe page. Joo want it there, maing?
• Meh, fuck it, I'll just put it here. Send all freshly-killed babies to the office of Governor Mike Huckabee, Little Rock, AR, future POTUS, if my country doesn't get its head out of its ass. Seriously, if he goes on the ballot, do not vote for the toadfucker. I got stories. Allll righty, then: 1 cup Crisco or other shortening 1 cup sugar 1 cup canned pumpkin (NOT PIE FILLING) 1 egg 2 cups flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup raisins, nuts, or chocolate chips (baby-killing version requires semi-sweet chocolate chips ONLY) --- Cream shortening, sugar and pumpkin together. Add egg and mix well. Add dry ingredients. Drop onto cookie sheet, bake 10-12 minutes at 375 degrees F. Cool. Eat. Send mct naked pictures of yourself eating the cookies. Wrap pictures in used underwear. Bake another batch, and send them to Chymie. A normal-sized can of pumpkin usually has just shy of two cups. What we usually do is just make a double-batch with one can, even though we come up a tad short on the pumpkin. Still good. But they're best if you use the full amount. I've eaten half a batch without blinking before.
• I'll copy that to the wiki, if you like.
• They're good warm, btw, but they're best when they've cooled, IMO.
• There's something called Crisco? That must be the mysterious "Brisco" which appears in old Mr Crouchback's food parcel in the Sword of Honour trilogy. He couldn't tell whether it was a food item, shoe polish, or something else - but the mystery is solved at last...
• 
• Crisco: It's solid white fat in a can at room temperature, heat it up a bit and it turns liquid, let it sit and it'll turn solid again. A Miracle Of Modern Science!
• It's good for anal sex lube. If you can't find strawberry KY.
• Someone put Crisco in my pineapple thread !!!!?!...mmmm...delicious.
• Oh, yes and the proper use of avocados? A small bit on top of a rice cracker.
• Crisco and canned pumpkin. Hm, I think I can get vegetable shortening, but I suppose butter would substitute. And mashed cooked pumpkin would be as good, if not better, than canned. Damn, I could never get over the waste of edible pumpkin at Halloween. You crazy Americans. *goes off to kill some babies*
• No one's going to bite at my anal sex comment, huh? Obviously I've spoiled you all. You're jaded with my vulgarities. I'll have to do something outrageous.
• Crisco is just a name brand vegitable shortening, tracicle, so I'm thinking you'd be ok going that route. Butter might add too much flavor to the mix, though that could be a good thing. Crisco is prized for not adding any flavor to a recipe, just fatty goodness. It's one reason why it makes such stellar fried chicken!
• *shhh! guys! we've finally goaded Chy into doing something outrageous!! get ready....
• Tracicle amd meredithea: Butter also isn't all fat, there's water and dairy in it, you'd have to clarify it, or remove some other moisture from the recipe somewhere and add extra butter to compensate. And I don't know the math of the %s of butter that is fat/dairy, but it couldn't be hard to find. Also, we waste pumpkin because why would we bake the rotten fruit we had our children hack at...
• Vegetable shortening is hydrogenated oil! It's full of trans fats and can cause cancer! It's better to use lard. Seriously. Unless you're a vegetarian, substitute lard for Crisco. Anyway, Crisco is more traditionally used with fisting. Astroglide is better for anal intercourse. Or so I'm told!
• I'm hoping I can find canned pumkin around here that is NOT PIE FILLING. /worried
• "Anyway, Crisco is more traditionally used with fisting. Astroglide is better for anal intercourse." Different strokes for different folks. HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• that was SO OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• You can substitute butter, I believe, but it will drastically change the texture of the cookies, which IMO is like forty percent of the experience with this recipe. Veg shortening isn't healthy, no. But these. Are. Cookies.
• I guess you wouldn't like my gelatin and carrot-stick cupcakes, then.
• Are they made with bourbon?
• How many calories in bourbon?
• Enough to be totally worth it, my dear.
• *mind in knots after jumble of recipes, fruit avocado advocacy, and sexual lubricant tips* Wait, wait... so, lard is better for... oh, damn.
• You Monkeys have sex on the brain. I'm afraid to think about what you do with an avocado seed. Ya done good, Chimpy, but you gotta get up early to beat your ol'GrandMa.
• Gelatin, carrot stick and bourbon cupcakes. Delish!
• no, just a bourbon soaked brain, no sex...did someone say cookies??
• Few people remember when McDonalds sold the "Hula Burger" - a grilled pineapple in a hamburger bun. Damn i wish they still sold those. These days all they sell are pale imitations of Quid's corpse. Pineapple? Check. Greasy food? Check. Reference to Quid's corpse in a thread featuring anal sex tips? Check. Ho-Yeah baby! Trifecta Me up!!
• GET AWAY FROM THE HOLE IN THAT PINEAPPLE RING! ya' buncha fruitverts
• I was just looking at the hole that's all. I wasn't doing anything. Geez.
• Oh! Ahh - yeah I was just looking at it too.
• *poke*
• Crisco is also useful for playing naked Twister. I'm just saying.
• Yes, but not saying enough.
• You.... how can you have written about fruit -- mangos even -- sex, and all the other monkey wonders of the world, without even thinking about the whole mango-as-metaphor-for-carpet-munching thing! I'm so dissapointed. fyi: sweet, juicy, satisfying, messy, and bits of hair in your teeth.
• (but I was counting on one of you degenerates to put it in a much more offensive and/or shocking way)
• Mmm, grilled pineapple.
• I'm afraid to think about what you do with an avocado seed. Choke to death, maybe. Really, those things can be dangerous if you try to lick off all the remaining goodness on its' surface. It's a common myth among we AvocadoMunchers™ that the smaller ones can easily lodge in your throat and cause a big, purple-faced mess. how can you have written about fruit -- mangos even -- sex, and all the other monkey wonders of the world, without even thinking about the whole mango-as-metaphor-for-carpet-munching thing! I was starting with that but, eh, lost interest. Yeah, sometimes happens *cough* Mmh, yes, those fiber strands between one's teeth... ha!
• Oh monkey brothers and sisters, thanks be to you. Hail the gloriousness of monkeydom. Spiney Piney was sitting unawares. And with the newly purchased Vacuvin (thanks Reuven!), it was short work. A serrated bread knife to lop off the head and then a twisty corkscrewing action with the Vacuvin (C$12.95, ages 7 and up). Spiney Piney for the fjords.. ...and now a taste....OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .... *falls over*
• Team MangoMunchers™ - look for them at a MoFi Meetup near you!
• *drools at pictures*
• *eyes Flagpole* *checks fridge to make sure pineapple slices still there*
• You can't stand there by the fridge door all day, SB... *chuckles evilly*
• You should just do what I do and eat the whole thing in one sitting. If you leave the top on and just pare away the sides you can eat it like a turkey leg. Dressed up like Henry V. *Pope wave*
• "fruitverts" *giggles*
• Love the pics, by the way. You gutted him real good for a pineapple virgin.
• Bah. If I had such a specialized tool on my first time, I'd have had a very satisfying outcome too, instead of the mess I ended up making. Only with time and practice... oh, wait, what were we talking about?
• Yes, it was my (sigh) first time. I'll always remember it. *munch* *munch*
• so no one here has yet mentioned the fruit fucker? wow, I'm really surprised!
• That's a nicely eviscerated pineapple, Storeyboard! The perfect container for a Mai Tai.
• You could substitue margarine for the Crisco pretty easily. It might change the flavor a bit, but it wouldn't change the texture. Never use real butter in a chocolate chip cookie recipe that calls for Crisco. Trust me on this one. Also, if you forget to put the eggs in the first half of the batch, putting them all in the second half won't help. Really.
• Margarine is just as bad as Crisco - they're both hydrogenated vegetable oil. So much of the food we eat everyday has hydrogenated oil, why make it worse? If you want the same texture as shortening, and don't mind animal fat, use lard. Lard also makes a far superior pie crust, FYI. Yes, it's incredibly fattening, but like mct said, these. are. cookies. When I make M&M cookies, I use 1/2 part lard and 1/2 part butter. People kill each other for my M&M cookies.
• I killed each other and now I am condemned to an afterlife where I am chased endlessly by a giant letter M. THANKS A LOT JESUS.
• A wholesome glass of milk will help wash down that damnation!
• Islander, it's true - Spiney makes for a nice little jar or flower pot. Or a swanky hat.
• I use 1/2 part lard and 1/2 part butter May the Lard have mercy on your soul.
• I highly recommend Butter Flavor Crisco. Yeah, it's not good for you. But it does add a nice flavor while keeping the texture what the recipe intended. (Being a vegetarian, lard's out for me.)
• You can't spell "lard" without "lara". Almost. Sorta not that I mean anything by that...
• Yeah, yeah. You're looking at my ass, aren't you?
• Nothing is good for you. You are going to die.
• Mmmmm. Ass.
• No, Pete. LARD!
• I want to make a huge protest sign that just says (in big red letters): LARD. BEER. ASS. and just sort of mingle with a huge protest somewhere.
• NO! It's about PINEAPPLES. Back! Back I say!
• Well I got my own Spiny Piny the other day. And although I don't have some hoity-toity fancypants froofery corkscrew thing I hope to enjoy the succulent goodness just as much. Heck maybe i'll make my own hula burger. Actually I went to get my own hoity-toity fancypants froofery corkscrew thing but they place was closed. Bah!
• We demand pictures!
• Yeah, I had Pete pegged as an eater of whole, unpeeled pineapples from way bak.
• Undie, you've pegged petebest??? all of them?
• Just call me ol' Pineapple-pegger.
• Now now, don't peg-and-tell. Just roll the video.
• video??? /makes popcorn
• beware! beware! of this Monster who plays a mean game of peg-a-boo
• I killed each other and now I am condemned to an afterlife where I am chased endlessly by a giant letter M. No, quid, you were just eating those LSD cornflakes while watching Sesame Street again.
• KILL HER, Snuffalufagus! KILL, KILL!
• There will be none of that kill stuff in this thread, Quidnunc! This is a thread of peace and kindness and pineapple. Especially pineapple.
• KILLING PINEAPPLES!!
• KILLER PINEAPPLES!! run, run for your lives!!!
• This is a thread of peace and kindness and pineapple. Especially pineapple. Sweet, tasty, scrumptious, delicious, moist, lubricious pineapples... mmmhhhh...
• No, we must not run. We must make a stand.... ..a pineapple stand! Made from the hollow heads of the Spiny Pineys! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
• juiced as pineapple is a prickly fruit ye must be careful how ye do it
• Luke, use the hoity-toity fancypants froofery corkscrew thing!
• **ducks behind cover, pulls pin on kiwi, lobs overhand into thread**
• Somehow my brain parsed "lobs overhand into thread" as "handjobs in thread." I'll put my penis away now.
• the pineappleodium monkey, this will not tell you why the fortitude of bees is such that chopping onion doesn't make him cry or fuss at least ... not much and in truth one stanza of it is outright fabrication, and indubitably thus a fine fat lie after a time bees must reflect and yes, confess he fares far better with pie 'n' apple than yon coarse-spined and sourish fruit -- for pineapple's slightest juice makes him a glum and glowerish old galoot so woe! and o! wotever can this poor fool do? pineapple lacks respect for bees' fresh flesh: when raw it tries to eat his gizzard, nor does cooked any better suit it leaves raw ulcers in his mouth and -- worse -- in points that lie far farther (and indelicately) south so in a nutshell there's his hellish and unwellish howdydo l' envoy dude, lord of gross produce: because these vegetable attacks are so unprovoked and so uncouth must bees gargle thoroughly and well with vinegar then rinse with very dry vermouth? or else abstain? know he craves some middle way, forsooth even a bee-furcated tongue can't recommend this course to you
• Finishing up me own spiny piney for brekkies. /not_sharing
• }}} bees!
• pineapple tops?
• They were selling little pineapple plants complete with baseball-sized pineapples in IKEA, when I was playing hookie there this morning. Fifteen bucks.
• So didja get one?
• Aahhhhhhh, I want me some baby pine-yapples!
• pete, I do not believe you actually had a pineapple at all. You have, to date, produced not one pixel of photographic evidence.
• Truth be known, the pictures I could get at this point - you probably don't want. For the record though, the pineapple was smooth and almost buttery, not sharp and citrus-bitey. /food_critic
• "So didja get one?" No. Bought a new shelf for the kitchen instead, and a good plate of fish 'n' chips. Besides, I have this little olive tree in my apartment that I'm waiting to produce fruit first. Once I grow satisfactory martini garnishes, I'll move up to pineapples.
• pete, I do not believe you actually had a pineapple at all. You have, to date, produced not one pixel of photographic evidence *opens album of spiney piney pictures* *feels smug*
• Once I grow satisfactory martini garnishes, I'll move up to pineapples. Chartered accountants eat martini garnishes! Lion Tamers eat pineapples!
• Y'know - pineapple makes a fine garnish to a lovely chilled vodka & malibu rum martini.
• Sorry Pete, I understand the word "pineapple" in your post, but all the other little words are confusing me.
• Sorry *shlrp* I was eating pineapple . . lemme try again; "Y'know - pineapple makes a fine garnish to pineapple pineapple & pineapple pineapple." pineapplebeard
• That's much clearer, thanks. Three times a week, and you?
• pineapplebeard HAAAAAAA!!
• I like wearing a beard it means I don't shave and always have a place to save those little bits of cracker from my chowder and my smoking terbaccer* and my seasoned salad croutons and plastic shirt buttons *waves his poetic license here, for he doesn't smoke
• I can't believe that a question about how to slice a pineapple has garnered this many posts. But of course it wasn't just about slicing a pineapple. It was a story of terror, defiance, courage, honor, and human kindness. It was a story of one person rising above their fear of a spiny piney. It was beautiful. *delicately wipes tear*
• *ties fake pineapplebeard around Bluehorse's neck*
• Sheesh! You talk about it like it's over or something. I'm doing my grocery shopping in a couple days...
• I don't know if that was Canadian dollars, Capt., but this might be a deal. (And the lil baby pineapple is so cute!)
• Oooh, I want one, but my apartment isn't insulated well enough to *have* a warm spot in the winter for it. Maybe in my next place...
• And the nominees for Best Pineapple Thread in the first quarter of 2006 are . . . Pineapple Frogs Curl Your Eyelids - Chyren Pineapple Daguerrotypes Found - Abiezer_Coppe The Pineapple Asplodes - Nickdanger How to Pork A Pineapple You Lousy Bastards - the quidnunc kid Curious Pineapple George - StoryBored And the winner is . . . Curious Pineapple George!!! *theme music*
• It’s really inspiring just how much crap’ll Come from a discussion about a pineapple. After her shopping, our dear Lara’s lap’ll Be full of the juicy, sweey, spiny pineapple. And the fruity palaver of Monkey perhaps’ll Continue forever, ‘cuz they like pineapple.
• "I don't know if that was Canadian dollars, Capt..." Of course it's Canadian! You know me and my 'damned patriotism'! Besides, the nearest IKEA across the ditch would be Elizabeth, NJ, which is a bit far when playing hookie. Although the involvement of pineapples lessens that somewhat.
• Oops -- I was wrong. Pittsburgh.
• Beautiful TUM! }}}@@@!! Lame attempt at an ASCII pineapple. Where's roryk when you need him?!
• .....\.../...... .....\\.//...... ....\\\^///..... ....<,,,,,>..... ...<,,,,,,,>.... ..<,,,,,,,,,>... ..<,,,,,,,,,>... ..<,,,,,,,,,>... ...<,,,,,,,>.... ....<,,,,,>..... .....````........ /even lamer pineapple
• Nice, Pez! Roryk's spinning in his future grave now.
• It's not lame at all, Pez! It's really good. You could also add some squiggles on each branch and turn it easily into a centipede. I just remembered that my mom used to make Pineapple Upside-Down Cake all the time when I was a kid. mmmmmmmm.....
• ...^\^\^\.../^/^/^/^ ....^\^|\^.|.^/^|^/^ .....^\^|\^\|/^/|^/ .......\^|\^\|^/|^/ ....<,'<>','<>',> ...<,','<>','<>','> ..<'<>','<>','<>',> ..<,'<>','<>','<>',> ..<'<>','<>','<>','> ...<'<>','<>'<>',> ....<', '<>', '<>',> .....```````'''"""""
• Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Strange but true: Pineapples use tiny nano-hairs on the surface of their spines to cling upside down in a cake.
• very nice patita! StoryBored don't tarnish your Bashi award by lying
• thanks pete! I used Pez's as a base. I should have posted a Curious Coconut George for the coconut I got a few weeks ago. We'd all be drinking pina coladas by now!
• Oh, now all of a sudden the monkey who'd never eaten a "real" pineapple is some kind of expert on pineapple physics? Hmph. (Lovely piney, patita!)
• Who wants to get really hungry? mmmmmmm
• My Mom used to make pineapple upside down cake every few weeks when i was a kid. She always used the same Corningware casserole to make it in, and that white dish full of sweet piney goodness is one of the most comforting images of my childhood. I asked her a while back whatever happened to that casserole, and where she had gotten it. She said, "I don't know. The dog brought it home one day. I always assumed he stole it from one of the neighbors." I spent my childhood eating out of the dog dish, and didn't even know it.
• That's funny! Oh, and great pics and poems.
• Hey when it comes to Pineapple Upside Down Cake - whatever! *glp* more please *chomp*
• Aye, the pictures are great, and The Monster's poem is excellent! ))) all round!!!
• there's an upward pointing triangle in utf-8 that's quite suitable:  `\\|//'   `\|/'    ▲▲▲   ▲▲▲▲▲  ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲  ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲  ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲   ▲▲▲▲▲
• Roryk, Patita and Pez, we do likes those pictures *yummy* *smack* *smack*
• Oh, now all of a sudden the monkey who'd never eaten a "real" pineapple is some kind of expert on pineapple physics? *quietly unfurls Diploma of Pineapple Physics (2000)*
• You're the famous Professor StoryBored who captivated the world by launching pineapples into low-gravity orbit? Wow! *holds out pineapple, sharpie*
• *signs pineapple while musing* ...one day we hope to fuse pineapples together releasing vast quantities of cheap, unlimited energy...I hope to God we will use this knowledge wisely...
• Yes, but what about spanking pineapples?
• *late to thread* Pineapple Upsidedown Cake!!!1!1! I hope y'all had marachino cherries in the middle of each ring. Sighs loudly, remembering transparent pyrex tray that mother baked it in, allowing for voyeuristic anticipation.
• ))) also for Pineapple Number Three and roryk!!!
• A report from the field: since this post (and likely because of this post, I have consumed the better part of three pineapples recently, finishing of the last of the last just now. I think pineapple has become my favorite fruit. If you store leftover pieces in a little tupperware thingy, juice collects at the bottom, and drinking the juice is unbelievable. I think I am going to go to the store tomorrow and buy another.
• I second the motion!
• I recently got to see the amazing pineapple-coring-and-slicing implement at work. a friend brought a huge-ass pineapple to my house for a party, cored-n-sliced it, then filled it with skewers of mixed fresh fruit chunks....it was yumtastic!
• Oh, YES! With those lovely marachino cherries like perky nipples in the middle of each pineapple boob. oh, shit! Hhmmm, how'bout, Pete said that. YEAH, Pete said that!
• that's the most disappointing perky nipple link I've ever followed on the internets.
• Pinipples?