February 18, 2006
Monk-e-mail
Shamelessly stolen instantaneously from mefi.
Hard to believe it's not a double, but I could not find it.
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you can record in flash via your phone line?? good work people.
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Greatest. Thing. Evah!
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Bernockle, you are the shiznits!!
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I can't get the text-entry thing to work. Grrr.
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We fling the poo.
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I feel like I'm missing out here. I just don't get it - and I even made the effort of calling in. So yep, this here is my voice. I did this a few days ago for a friend - had I known I'd post it here, perhaps I would've sounded more enthusiastic. :-)
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How I start my day.
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I just choked on my morning cuppa! Well done.
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It's time I told you.
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bernockle - you must have phoned that one in, 'cause that accent didn't show up in the standard voices. The whole thing is "funierest," but getting to hear the voice of a distinguished Monkey is the foam on the owl semen!
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Oh, and TTNoelle - your voice is sort of Woody Allen-ish, so your lack of enthusiam did make it funny.
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Monkey revenge.
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It's strange, none of you sound anything like I had imagined.
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)))(((!
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Monkeys freshen up, too.
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Medical monkey.
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Oh, yeah?
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Couldn't quite understand the last few words of that.
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Uh, oh, pwned!
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Evidently you have the gay and mouth herpes.
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A time for prayer.
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Monkey travel itinerary.
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The telephone feature of this site has not worked for me in days. I simply am not happy about it.
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I tried to call the 800 number on the main CarreerBuilder site, but they're only available during US office hours. (I don't think they mentioned which time zone.) I, for one, would never try offer my exceptional skills to a company that can't keep their best feature in pristine condition. So, if you're as upset about this as I am, call (800) 891-8880. We've made them famous by hosting this post, and they should be more grateful.
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I just finally understood mct's insult. He was saying that I have the gay, and I have mouth herpes. I thought that he was saying that I have the gay herpes and the mouth herpes. I categorically deny having the gay.
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Grammatically ambiguous insults are my forte. I hope passionately a in the public goat square you fuck.
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Not safe for work
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Destroying the myth that only white people live in gated communities.
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I'm Rick James, bitch!
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Peace out.
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What????? Tell me you're joking!!!
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Noooooooooo!
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Wow. So this is how it ends?
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what??
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bernockle bailing?
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I have no sound...what's this about?
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bernockle said he's leaving us.
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But Bernie, think of the owls!
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Was it something I said? Was it something kit said? I bet it was kit. Please, please let it have been kit...
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Typical, I can't make it work.
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He says, "This is my farewell to MonkeyFilter. It has been a lot of fun for me, but it is time for me to move on. Thanks to all you Monkeys for making it fun while it lasted." (sob)
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He's -- he's outgrown us? *flings poo, owl semen*
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wtf?
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*cries*
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*sees chance to comfort mothninja, gets overexcited, wets self*
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Thanks, Capt, it's the thought that counts. *hands over towel, clean pants*
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Hey! Oh well, I guess I didn't need them anyway.
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He'll be back. I stole his wallet.
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There's a girl! Say could you loan me a bit, y'know til like Tuesday?
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No money. Only lint, and an expired coupon for Shake n' Bake.
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No condoms?
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I miss bernockle :(
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I do too, and wish he had given us more about why he decided to leave.
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Note to all monkeys: please explain your departure, damnit!1! This means you, bernockle, and sidedish, and peacay, and moneyjane, and ...?
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I left because I was tired of that Underpants idiot always mouthing off and acting like freakin' Benny Hill or something.
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Also the skidmarks, definently the skidmarks.
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*tootles on saxophone while TUM runs in and out of room*
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moneyjane left to join this secret government agency that's like all hos doing secret spy stuff with pointy heels and tiny pistols and lipstick. Anyway that's what her blog says.
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all night long I dream of you and ponder monkeys flinging poo your wit was honed your words were wise and yet you left this paradise in short old friend you gave us the boot now when I hear the howl of a horny owl or listen to it hoot I daub at my eyes and throw in the towel listening to its mournful cries
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She fed her cats Upon a shelf She hired us all To please herself Ah monkeyjane Ah monkeyjane alas Bernockle, SideDish, silly Diz We knew you when, Now where you is?
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Did Moneyjane post a farewell that I missed, or did she just stop posting?
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I think she didn't officially Leave, she just had enough for the time being. Hope she'll be back. She also coughed up five bucks.
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Five bucks? Was that for the party fund? Why wasn't I invited?
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You have to ask?
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Fine! I'll have my own party! *Puts on party hat, blows noisemaker, drinks self into stupor*
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*steps over stuporous Berek on doorstep Hey, everybody, I bought balloons and gin!!
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My kinda gal.
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*Upchucks on Bluehorse's feet* URP
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*looks down in disgust *sucker punches Berek *steps over Berek's prone form on way to loo
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Yesh, yiu gibba it come heresh..... *spends half hour trying to brush something off shoulder, finally realizes it's the floor*