December 06, 2005

New Mystery Mammal Found. Captured on film in Borneo. It's 'like a large domestic cat with a muscular tail. Me wants! What to call it, though?
  • Well let's see...if it is like a cat then it doesn't matter what you call it - because it won't come when you call...
  • Gerald.
  • But it will regurgitate its food on the hall floor for your partner to step in barefooted, as happened this morning. Arf!
  • "Here kitty, kitty!"
  • *pops head over wall* Yes?
  • Kill it! Kill it! Kiiiii... oh, it's you, kitfisto. Sorry.
  • How can they be sure it's a mammal? Could be a crustacean.
  • Yes, a four-legged, furry, jungle dwelling crustacean with light-reflecting eyes and a long muscular tail. How can they have been so stupid!
  • That's no crustacean! In fact, it's an annelid: the tail is the creature itself, and the furry protruberance at one end is just there to scare off predators.
  • "..four-legged, furry, jungle dwelling crustacean with light-reflecting eyes and a long muscular tail.." There's nothing so odd about that. The light reflecting eyes are just hood ornaments.
  • Pfft - not even the right kingdom. Clearly it's one of these.
  • I thought it was obvious: Wulffraat
  • You people are so silly - it's obviously of the Argyrodes genus! So beware of it's tendency towards kleptoparasitism!
  • (Ha ha! They all fell for my joke! Suckers..!)
  • (Oh no! Not the ol' glue the extra-long tail on the domestic cat and release it into the wilds of Borneo trick!)
  • My cats love that one!
  • Holy smokes, maybe it's the rat-monkey from Braindead!
  • No, the rat-monkey was eaten by the cat-monkey.
  • I have to admit, my reaction is less the kind I would prefer (intellectual curiosity and a desire to research and understand more about this species) than a knee jerk "I don't care what you call it or what becomes of it - just keep that thing away from me."
  • Chupacabra!
  • Fluffy.
  • endangered jungle being cleared to make way for palm oil plantations?? For fuck's sake! Now a brothel, or perhaps a ballpark I could see but . . . palm oil?? wtf?
  • I think it's awesome that there's still stuff about our planet we don't know. Also, I want two and I shall call them Fluffy and Fred.
  • Maybe it's a wumpus. (Or a baby one.)
  • Palm Oil, huh? Maybe we should send some to kit, so he can oil his palms. I keed, I keed. Sorta.
  • Don't make me set Fluffy on ya.
  • *hides, masks scent with palm oil*
  • *realizes that probably won't work*
  • Muscular tail, or just very pleased to be caught on camera at last?
  • You bastard! Don't you realize you are contributing to the wiping out of forests with that all over usage????
  • There there, Fluffy. The nasty man has gone. *quietly puts Fluffy onto the palm oil scent trail* sik 'im, Fluffy. Do it for daddy.
  • Maybe the tails are prehensile, like monkey tails, and they can kill with them swing from them.
  • *oils up like Turkish wrestler, waits*
  • *whistles for Fred* In you go Freddy. Remember - the pincer movement for this one.
  • But careful, he's bound to be slippery!
  • If it is a cross between a cat and a fox, then shouldn't it be called a "cox?" Or at least a "fat?" Why not combine the two and call it "fat cox?" I, for one, cannot wait to see the new fat cox.
  • Yes? Oh! Sorry - carry on.
  • !
  • Well, if we're going to the Onion, we might as well mention that some people are sure to want to try mysterious new mammal souffle.
  • By the way, do I need a rabies shot for this thread?
  • Tube-cat!
  • I think this critter is almost as cute as the baby panda. Can you imagine what a litter of these little charmers look like? I want a mystery-mammal cam and for Petebest to give this critter a really cute name like His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV. His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV I just lurvs that name!
  • It don't care what you call it, just don't call it Late for Dinner.
  • Mystery critter in the jungle please do keep your tail untangled as through vines you blithely wander posing for the camera yonder.
  • That giraffe is gonna be livin in a world of pain any minute now. We all know that squirrels are nails.
  • You sure about that? 'Cause they sure do put up a fuss when I try to hit 'em with the hammer...
  • "...squirrels are nails" /consults urban dictionary Ah! Hard as nails. I've been away from Blighty too long.
  • Wokkin' with mah squirrelly where the dew is pearly early in the maw-aw-aw-nin'! Buttered flies all cuddle up and kick each little buttered cub at daw-awe-nin'! O if I had l'l Alan's lamb for only one day I'd order mint sauce and here's wot I'd say -- nothin' could be finer than fried squirrel in a diner in the maw...aw, hell...
  • ha!
  • Damn, I need another drink.
  • Yeah, that's what all the squirrels say.
  • Yeah, I need another drink, too. Fridge full of beer.. maybe I'll get full too.
  • It's our work Xmas 'do' this afternoon. Free beer apparently. Yee Haw!
  • Try that theory out - civet fits! Eh? EH???
  • OK, is this the animal that the mystery meat comes from?
  • *palms hose*
  • *hoses palms*