December 03, 2005

"Holla Back" blog. Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you're commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some dickwad's fantasy.
  • Ah, the primary reason I prefer to walk around with headphones covering my ears.
  • That's a real smackdown to men (or others) with ear fetishes, I'd imagine. Didja ever think of that?
  • Well, actually, if you're feeling sexy, that pretty much means you ARE someone's fantasy and know it. But that's not the point. The point is that you don't have to be scared by losers who want to vocalize that fantasy, threaten you with it, or tell you about it in all its gory detail. You have the right to know that you are empowered, and that some fucker TELLING YOU his fantasy about you means HE'S a creep, not that you have to be embarrassed or walk faster or stay indoors. We can't help fantasizing, not men or women. We can help our actions, though -- and we can, if we're really lucky, make sure that the men who should be embarrassed ARE embarrassed...instead of us being embarrassed and shocked and traumatized by their remarks. So many women feel really violated by this kind of thing -- but I'm sure that's why men keep doing it. Start being vocal...and start snapping photos...and I bet they might take the hint. What would REALLY kick these fuckers' asses is if, when you snapped the photo, you slipped them a business card with the web address on it, so they could see how their idiocy and non-datability was broadcast online.
  • I like it. And yeah musingmelpomene a business card with the url would be nifty. No point in revenge if the person doesn't know about it.
  • I've always wished I had the courage to just walk up to the girls I admire and say "Hi," but at the same time I'm really glad I'm not one of these assholes. Oh, where to draw that all-important line...
  • Coming up and saying high is fine I think. If you get the go-away vibe and you soon leave no problem. It's the ones who confess that they "wanna put it in your babycakes" that are the problem. And sadly they don't seem to get the message when you just tell them to um go away. So the line: "Hi. How you doing?" (she replies, if you start chatting cool - if she's cold walk away) _____________________________________(<-- the line) "Well then don't talk to me bitch." "You have got the sweetest arse." "That is an awesome rack." "I wanna put my finger/boy bits/etc into you" (Above the line is fine. Below the line is not.) Would you like to subscribe to gomichild's "How to talk to girls" newsletter? (~^)
  • saying high? put it in your babycakes? Honestly I have got to stop posting when I'm sober
  • I've always wished I had the courage to just walk up to the girls I admire and say "Hi," but at the same time I'm really glad I'm not one of these assholes. Oh, where to draw that all-important line... Haha. I think there should be a forum for the sensitive guys who need to "take back the moment" from certain hyper-reactive false "empowerment" mentalities that pop-"feminism" often subscribes to. Feminism operates in a patriarchal language. Poor women, poor men. But at least it's moving. I like the forum for the most part. Some dudes really need to be taken down and put in their place. I just feel sorry for the socially inept who get pigeon-holed based on support group dynamics of "othering" and generalizing creep factor criteria.
  • You know what I do? I go, "WHAT did you just say? I'm going to fucking kill your ass!" That shuts 'em up good. They are so amazed that they get this deer-in-the-headlights thing going and trip over themselves trying to be somewhere else entirely. Like Mars. I've also perfected the you better be somewhere else when I get to you Approach of Menace where you walk directly at them like a gunslinger about to draw - shoulders wide and forward, arms out a bit at your sides and, if necessary, hands in fists. Also; smiling. Last time I did that, it totally buffaloed this guy calling himself "Iron Mike". Though I have to wonder; just how tough is a guy who nicknames himself "Iron Mike"?
  • I love how the focus has quickly changed from the women who are pissed about getting catcalled to the poor misunderstood men who don't know how to talk to women. Ask any woman who spends a bit of her time walking outside during the day and it's pretty likely that she'll have a list of the nasty uninvited shit that has been said to her.
  • mandyman that just goes to show that guys who are jerks to women in public are ruining it for everybody.
  • I suggest that all reasonable males accost such a jerk, shouting "You're the reason I'm not getting any, you midget-dicked dipshit!" and bash him in the gob.
  • Hi, gomichild!
  • I love how the focus has quickly changed from the women who are pissed about getting catcalled to the poor misunderstood men who don't know how to talk to women. Amen, sister. I've always been baffled by this "conundrum" in the first place. If you can't figure out the difference between "Hi, how's it going" and "I was waiting for you to open your legs", then you've got serious mental problems and probably shouldn't be talking to any female not wearing a labcoat.
  • >>Though I have to wonder; just how tough is a guy who nicknames himself "Iron Mike"?<< He must've been referring to his neatly-pressed trousers.
  • Indeed! Now that I think of it, he had a pal who called himself "Skidmark Bill", so your observation that their naming ideas revolved around clothing condition may well be correct.
  • Though I have to wonder; just how tough is a guy who nicknames himself "Iron Mike"? uhh... iron mike
  • I remember walking with a female friend who was the recipient of a limo driver's obscene gesture (well, I think it was her...my chest doesn't protrude as far as he was gesturing), and when I mentioned it a few blocks later, she had no idea what I was talking about. I was surprised at her ability to block out something so blatant. When I visited my sister in NY, a man approached us one night and made some creepy comments about her legs. I wish I'd said or done something like what moneyjane described. I mentioned that it must suck even more when stuff like that happened while she was walking around on her own, and she said that she probably wouldn't notice because she'd be plugged into her ipod. While it sounds like the seeds of an alternative marketing ploy if they ever get tired of the dancing silhouettes, I personally like to see and hear what's going on around me if I'm walking on the street, especially at night.
  • Back before cell cams and Holla Back, there was War Zone, with a woman filming the catcalls and leers. While I didn't always agree with her approach, I found some of her interviews of women compelling.
  • Amen, sister. I've always been baffled by this "conundrum" in the first place. If you can't figure out the difference between "Hi, how's it going" and "I was waiting for you to open your legs", then you've got serious mental problems and probably shouldn't be talking to any female not wearing a labcoat. Amen sister. And vice versa. That is: if you're a woman and can't tell the difference you shouldn't be antagonizing in public. Remember, for most forms of misanthropy, to use inside voice...