November 14, 2005

What's the Evidence for an historic ET presence in Iraq? An independent archaeologist that discusses a direct link between the ancient ET presence in Sumer (southern Iraq) and current US focus on the regime of Saddam Hussein Ladies and Gentlemen, start your tinfoil! via
  • The upshot is that the War in Iraq is so the US can find the Stargate the Annunaki used to visit the ancient Sumerians. Before mysterious Planet X shows up. With footnotey goodness.
  • >the ancient Sumerians whose civilization began almost overnight in 3800 BC. >The origin of this ET race was a planet called Nibiru that had a long elliptical journey around the sun, and returned to this region of the solar system every 3,600 years. But that would mean the planet should have reappeared 200 years ago, in 1806. And we all know what happened in 1806... -Noah Webster publishes his first English dictionary -Isaac Quintard patents apple cider -Ralph Wedgewood invents carbon paper ...ALMOST OVERNIGHT. Coincidence? I think not.
  • And do you see carbon paper anymore? No! You see how they work?
  • That just blew my mind.
  • If they were here in 3800 BC, and return every 3600 years, they would have been here in 200 BC, and will return again in 3400 AD.
  • This strikes me as a little fruity.
  • SnowCrash, man. *inhales*
  • So I forgot to carry the millenium. If you can accept the premise as reasonable, you can certainly overlook a trifling math error. Anyway, I have it on good authority (I read it on the Internets!) that in our lifetimes we'll be able to upload our consciousnesses into hydrogen-powered nanocomputers or inject ourselves with stem cells to stop the aging process or something, so we should all live to see 3400 AD quite handily. Anybody feel like a little wager? I bet the aliens turn out to look like Japanese women in metallic silvery jumpsuits.
  • You know, I just love a good conspiracy theory. To help you evaluate this and other theories, here's a handy guide. ThreeDayMonk's Conspiracy Theory Evaluation Checklist [x] Humanoid aliens [ ] Claims that aliens cross-bred with humans [ ] Reptilian aliens [x] Postulation of increase in human consciousness due to celestial movements [x] Assertions that news of return of tenth planet being suppressed [x] Predictions based on Mayan calendar [ ] Chemtrails [ ] Illuminati [ ] Hollow earth [x] Quotes used out of context for support [ ] Reverse speech [x] Personal communication from god(s)/extraterrestrials [ ] Solarization [x] Israeli black ops [x] Unusually high degree of government competence and secrecy required by theory [x] Argument based on demonstrably false scientific/mathematical calculations This gives a rating of 9 Tfh* on the Cynic-o-meter(TM). * Tfh = Tinfoil hats. Shockingly, this unit has not yet been recognised by SI.
  • ooo does that come in a handy travel-size, or perhaps downloadable to my tricorder? Okay, pocket PC
  • TDM, you forgot: [x] Website features purple text on bright yellow background
  • These Nibiru... they ever bump into Xenu or Klatu?
  • ...of the ancient Sumerians whose civilization began almost overnight in 3800 BC Completely ignores Natufian culture and other neolithic peoples that were constantly travelling from the fertile valley and back for a long time before Sumerian culture arose. There's a reason this guy is an independent archaeologist: 1.) He's a nut 2.) He has no formal training in the field (Phd in "Government" and a MA in "Philosophy") 3.) He doesn't do his homework People like him make it difficult for legitimate archaeologists to propone theories about such things as secret societies, shamanism and other controversial topics because, of course, the Nisga'a lines were created for or by aliens. Assholes like this have absolutely no faith in the ability of human beings to be able to create things that we have proven ability to create in both ethnographies and experimental archaeology.
  • That's a good point, InsolentChimp, but aren't you confusing the Nisga'a with the Nazca? Or am I showing my ignorance of American cultures? I propose adding another item to the checklist: [x] Theory proposed by independent researcher with no training in the field
  • Oops! You're goddamn right I am. It's a good thing this wasn't a test. Thanks for clarifying my post, 3DM.
  • I don't understand why it is so difficult for people to consider things like the possibility that everyone on Earth is imaginary except Nell Carter.
  • Gimme a break!
  • I'll take that one.
  • Don't bother - even tinfoil can't stop them!
  • So where are the ivory tower folks with an explosive theory like this? Hm? What, they've determined there's no basis for it?? Oh c'mooon!
  • He's got a PhD, he's an expert. Who's the nutcase? Those who don't believe the expert, you nutcases.
  • Yeah!